We Support Each Other When Times Are Rough

  

In the Dying, Letting Go, Grief, Support and Healing Group on Google+, people share their experiences with loss. It is very heart warming as people hunker down to support the one going through this rough time.  Here was one which actually reminded me of the position I have been in.  This woman described a major loss that a remote community experienced, a murder/suicide that happened to distant relatives long in the same community.   She felt that since she had a job helping people grieve, she should have done much better in being there for others and in dealing with her own feelings.  I felt that way too at the beginning of the losses I experienced. But, I decided later it was unrealistic to take myself out of this situation as if I was only the professional. I really could relate to what she said. 

This is how I responded:   I can relate to your description of your feelings. I used to be a social worker in hospice. I made it okay to talk about these tough issues. I believe I helped others, but I learned a lot by everything they shared. I went through a series of very tough losses and found myself reacting like everyone else. So what I learned is that we are first human beings before our professions or other things that separate us. Then I got cancer and now it is stage IV.  But, I have had cancer over 15 years and it has been stage IV over 8 years of that time. I can say I've learned a lot by all that has happened. And, as much as I would rather not have gone through this, this has shaped me, making me much more sensitive to what others feel. So, I guess, in this very odd way, it was a plus.

Here is how another woman described the helplessness of her grief and how she had a hard time with platitudes ("God knew you had the strength to handle this") and yet recognized later how she grew from this.   -  +Rhonda  ...........​.  +Myste ......​. +Rachel Jerdin​. ((((Biggest of hugs))))

 Somedays i feel like climbing the highest mountain anScreaming my head off. 

Then i lookaround me &reflect a lot on what was to the what is . 

If life were a remote control . Or R.I.P  ment return if possible . Even just for aquick 5 mins. But . Then the pain would start from the beginning & those tiny steps that on reflection are leaps wouldb back full on.. 

Its not till u have been shaken to the core u realise . Loads . You go through every emotion u can think of & some . Question the ifs buts whys maybes . Drive urself insane because there is not a thing u could do to change any thing . Iwas told once at the very begining i got e erything that happend because the lord knew i could handle it all. At the time i thought what a load of  crok wat about such &such they deserve ?. 

As ihave come through the yearz the hardest i found was forgiving yourself . 

Youare notsuperwoman& its ok to get angry . 

I write have donefor years . & on reflection in my writings iknew . 

Still didnt make anything any easier if any thing gave me guilt. Could i have changed things ? Not even with remote  viewing . Dreams . No. I wasnt to change anything . I was to be an example . This took me years to sink in also . The insight , I Share so others know their never alone . 

Love & Kindness . (( hugs))

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A man on Google+ had this advice in dealing with a prickly pear fruit. -   The traditional way to remove the prickly hair is by laying the fruit on the grass and vigorously sweeping it about with a broom.

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I had Carol to myself in Art Class.  I have been having problems drawing the breast feathers of the parrot, and, it might be the same issue with Owls.  So I watched as she used a pencil and then showed how it would be with a brush.  She was showing me that it is the same techniques.  Below was a feather from another type of bird.  Since I'm traveling, I haven't been able to do all I wanted.   My friends here Jacquie and her daughter Debbie have a Cockatiel named Piper. So I drew Piper and the felt I got his personality in his face. 

I 

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I worked further on the owl and I think it is much improved. 

Y Mason 

My friend Barbara and I came to see friends Jacquie and Debbie who live in the wine region in Sonoma  County. We went to two wineries Bella which had the wine in caves and Ramond Burr Winery (yes that Raymon Burr who was in many movies and was the star of Perry Mason and Ironsides).  We also met a man, Jacob, that Raymond Burr brought from Fiji, paid for college and helped himself out.  I'm doing this'll my iPad which is a little different.

The first picture is Jacquie, her daughter Debbie and  Barbara who lives a mile from me. We do a lot together and both of us knew Jacquie in different ways.   Jacquie was a counselor at the Health Department  and we both worked with HIV/AIDs patients. Barbara and Jacquie met each other in a support group called Make Today Count for people with chronic illness.

This is being done on my iPad. It is acting up. So I can't do it in the same way I've done it in the past. That's where the last picture you see here is of an osprey nest. Today Jackie, Debbie and I are going to see a couple of other wineries.  Barbara has gone to Fort Ross to do some more genealogical research.   Because the keyboard with the outfit that has disappeared on me I'm doing this by dictation so I am ending now and I hope to see you guys next Sunday thank you for reading.     Rachel