Seventh Anniversary of Paul's Death

Last June at my friend Martha Elizalde Hense's Home

My great grandson Conner is almost a month old.  I don't hear much, but I have been getting pictures.  My grandson Billy has been sick for a week and I'm looking forward to him feeling better and spending the day at my home.  So, I had to get some pictures.  Billy sent me a couple and the other was from checking Facebook.

I set the DVR for most of my television viewing so I can watch programs I wouldn't otherwise see. CBS News Sunday Morning focused on issues about death and dying - The first was Mitch Albom who wrote Tuesdays with Morrie  (which was an excellent book) and who has done a lot of people oriented activities since and said "When I lose people, I recognize how small I really am in this whole picture";then,  a town where well over 90% of the adults had completed an Advance Directive; then, how comedians "die" on the stage; and then,  Is there a good death? - a man invited a photographer into his life when he was dying. Most wants to die at home with family around, but only one in four do this.  This man wrote  a memoir, had his cat there and listened to classical music; the losing of a loved one who had a long and full life is still painful.
What is so good about all this is taking the subject of death and dying out of the closet and encouraging a public conversation on what people are thinking about but will not say out loud.

I went to Hart Park again. It was warm in the sun and cool in the shade. I was near ducks and geese and I had my camera with me and when I would move toward them they would raise a ruckus.  When I stayed at the table, they were fine. People came by to feed the ducks  and geese but generally they did not get upset with them. After these people left, they situated themselves by me standing on one leg and tucking their head or sitting on the ground with their eyes closed. It seemed like nap time after eating. I also worked on drawing my birdhouse and nest while I was there.   My proportions are wrong in terms of getting perspective of lines which are further away.  Robert a man who comes to Art for Healing recommended the butterfly to balance the picture.  Good idea!

My friend Leslie Gillin's mother died a year ago this last Monday. She asked if some of her friends would join her for dinner at California Pizza Kitchen for support. Well, two other friends I know were there.  I met Jan Wiley at Art for Healing and we took a drawing class at Bakersfield College through their adult learning program The Levan Institute.   Donna Collier who was an RN at the Health Department working with HIV positively diagnosed people. I contracted with that program as a social worker and we became very close as a result of that work. She came to the memorial service for my husband.   That was such a bad time for me I don't remember.  Anyway Leslie was going to her meditation teacher Francine Papadimitrakis's home to release a lighted sky lantern as a way to release good thoughts, prayers and/or messages to our loved one who has died. We were invited. She served us a pleasant dessert that was a part of her Greek culture and then we had a very nice conversation about yoga, meditation healing, etc.   She had us deal with these lanterns in twos since they were quite big. We lit this black square which sent heat into the lantern and rose very high and either moved out of our vision or went out on its own.  She said she couldn't find sky lanterns locally and had ordered them online.  I will also check Francine's classes at The Yoga Space in Bakersfield. She uses a healing model which is something I could use.  It was a magical experience and I think that the Jerdin Family might want to do this.  We are going to do the sky lanterns on Paul's birthday at Shelley's home.   I ordered the sky lanterns through Amazon.com. I'll pick up a dessert and as soon as the sun has disappeared, we will light these and send positive energy from us to Paul.  I believe it will be cathartic.

 Wednesday, April 30th was the seventh anniversary of my husband Paul's death. I still miss him and probably always will. I went to the cemetery where his ashes are and where I've made arrangements for my ashes to go. The setting is very peaceful and I talk to him when I'm there.  We were married April 12, so it makes for a month of remembering.  It is okay, even if I do cry.  We had pictures done while we were there, though our marriage was a civil ceremony.  We went to a photography studio and pointed at our rings and hugged each other.  They didn't speak English, but they did understand that.  Below is one of the pictures taken and then I did a "selfie" at the cemetery with Paul.

I realize this is very odd to some people.  I would like it to be a natural and if people want to talk about they should be able to.  It helps me and I hope it helps you.  Let's get the conversation going.  See you next Sunday.            Rachel