Great Gathering of Friends

This has been some week!  I continue to rest as much as I can and I have much less pain. The problem is, the more I move around, the more my lower back hurts. Oh well. My back is a chronic pain and I do know if I take it easy I do much better. As my physical therapist said, "take a break every 10 to 15 minutes".  That is easy to forget when at that moment I feel okay. 

My class with Carol Bradshaw went well.  She was complementary expressing amazement that I did what I did with one hand.   I was amazed too! Now we are on to drawing a parrot and have two weeks to do the drawing.

My friend Valerie and I went to Fresh Choice Noodle House for lunch (great as usual). Then we went to Home Depot to get a new faucet for my kitchen and after-market remote controls for three of my fans. She said she would attempt to do  the work this weekend if nothing came up. 

My friend Janet took me to see Dr. Wong for a scheduled appointment.  I had the pin removed. It was becoming uncomfortable which Dr. Wong said was good because the pin was moving and ready to come out.  He removed some of the dead skin, took an xray which showed calcification which is a good thing.  It was recast with a little more of my fingers showing which allows me to manipulate things better. He gave me a prescription for the pain pills.  Janet and I went to Mexicali's for their margarita and dinner.  Below are the pictures of my arm and wrist. 

So I didn't make an arrangement for someone to get my medications because I thought I would go get them. On Thursday, I stalled for two hours and then forced myself to go. It was okay, much better than I thought it would be. I don't think I'm ready to drive out of town.  But, it was a major step.

My granddaughter Kayla and her friend Mariah came by to visit after visiting a friend close by and to get o it of the heat.  Kayla is bored and wants to go on a trip. I told her I was out of commission this year. She said "how about camping?", I said "that too".  Maybe next year and I hope we can go to Martha's home.

Meaghan posted three wedding pictures done by the wedding photographer and the most recent picture of Conner. Very nice pictures. Meaghan and her mother adopted the four little children from a family member. They range from two to five. The middle ones are twins. Meaghan has had a lot of experience with little ones.

This weekend was great meeting with friends I used to work with. There were ten of us and I do believe it was a nice break for all of us. Since we still had time,  Annemarie and I headed to Main Street to go to this gourmet kitchen store. It is now closed on Sundays as are most of the other stores. We usually shop when we go, but no shopping this trip.  My friend Annemarie continues to fix up her little home. She has a good eye. This has turned out to be very cute.  Our group is looking to get together in November. I look forward to that.


While I was gone my friend Valerie got in one remote control on one of my fans. She needs to check on some things before finishing replacement of the faucet in the kitchen. So that is coming along.

My friend Janet picked me up at the train station. We went for our margaritas and and snack. That was a wonderful homecoming.

That's it for the week.  See you next week!          Rachel

Getting Back Into My Art

I really have been resting. So this was a forced break. I needed it.

Monday was my birthday and it was a pleasant one. I turned 65 so officially I'm eligible for all the senior discounts out there. My Kaiser Senior Advantage went into effect this month. There are some savings, but from what I had, it isn't that dramatic Had lunch and margaritas with my friend Janet Seinturier. I am still not driving, so if I go out someone has to do the driving. Shelley and my grandson Kevin came by in the evening with cheese cake we enjoyed together and a lovely gift of a coffee carafe. I look forward to doing a brunch and have coffee in this carafe.

I continued my celebrations. After my art class with Carol Bradshaw, Valerie and I ate at the Padre Hotel. We ate in the bar and the food was excellent. I had a salmon salad and Valerie had chile verde tacos. Then on Wednesday, Barbara Long and I ate vegetarian at Mama Roomba.  It is not noted as a vegetarian restaurant, but the non-meat choices are very good. They have a wonderful vegetable soup. We also had sautéed mushrooms and a mixed bean salad with oil infused with cilantro. It also tasted like it had finely minced garlic. Their mojitos are great, and, of course I had one of those.

This week I did work on my art. I have had little energy up to now so it was a nice change. I did draw the barn with silos and a waterfall with little detail. Next week we are working on parrots. As my teacher says "something is better than nothing", because it gives her a sense where I'm getting it and where I'm not.  Then she can give me feedback to improve my drawing.

I didn't need to return to the doctors office for the cast this week. The cast fits better and the break  is improving some, though I continue to take pain medications because it calms the pain down. Another interesting thing is that my back has just about become a non-issue. I have had a couple of twinges, but very minor. One of my friends thinks that it is because I've been doing a whole lot less than I had been doing.  I thought it was because my wrist hurts the worst at this time. I'll see when my wrist heals more.
My friend Lynn asked me how I was doing asking others for help. I will admit, it really is difficult to do. I would really rather be on the other side and helping others. I try to remind myself that I have no problem helping others when they need the help and I can help. I worry about being a burden on others. Now that I think about it, many seniors worry about being a burden on others. That is why I push to do what I can for myself. Valerie feels we have to be on the receiving end "to balance the universe". "Everyone needs to give and take" according to Valerie.  The other issue is when I need help for toileting issues  I've always been so private that this is particularly hard.  When I was in the hospital, I found them putting in a foley catheter to urinate an incredible invasion of privacy.  The nurses just looked at it as a procedure to do which helped some in not getting embarrassed.  I do know many people who don't find this embarrassing. So, this is not an easy subject. I would like to hear what others think. What would you do if you were in this spot?

Today my friend Valerie Slocum and I went to watch a movie called "Strangers in Good Company" at the Art and Spirituality Center.  Excellent as usual and great discussion afterwards.

I've had no contact with my grandson and his family except through the internet.  They have offered to come over to help, but I have resisted visits from everybody. I'm at the tail end of this cold. It is no longer waking me up in the middle of the night. But, they have been posting such cute pictures and I can't resist sharing them.

So next weekend I am meeting with people I used to work with which will be about 1 1/2 hours north..I'm taking the train. My friend Janet will get me to the station here and another friend Annemarie will pick me up. We have done this several times.  We make it a mini-vacation. The hotel is very pleasant with a nice pool. Since I have a cast, all I'll be doing is dangling my legs in the water. The restaurant Tommy's is also a pleasant setting and my memory of eating here is very good. We expect our group to be a little smaller than usual, but I can't remember a time when it wasn't a great gathering.

Valerie Schultz wrote a good article in the Bakersfield Californian on grief that I would like to share.  I felt this with my losses.  I believe many of you will relate to it.  :

Valerie Schultz on grief

Thursday, Jul 03 2014 01:19 PM
VALERIE SCHULTZ: Grief is dark shadow over these early summer weeks
By The Bakersfield Californian

My sister calls it the trifecta, although without the happy connotation of that word: the window of time every year from Father's Day in June to our dad's birthday in July. In between is Independence Day, the date of our dad's death. The trifecta covers about a month. It is our yearly time of intensified grief, when we are reminded that we are fatherless, and we relive the days leading up to his death, and we regret that there are no more of his birthdays to celebrate. I'm always glad when the trifecta is over. It's not that I miss my dad any less during the rest of the year; it's just that the loss doesn't seem as in-your-face once the trifecta passes.

This year is the fifth trifecta, and I have learned that time does not really soften the ache. But then I think of my dad's simple, sunny outlook on life, and I know that he would want us to focus less on the bitter and more on the sweet. Our extended family has had some bad blood among its members since my dad died, but we've also had weddings and anniversaries and graduations. We've had new babies born.

My dad was a fantastic grandpa, and he would have doted on these miraculous additions as much as he adored my daughters. He taught me to appreciate the whole "circle of life" concept, just by the way he'd sit back at family gatherings and marvel at the little ones running around the pool, at the noise and laughter of people enjoying time together, at the palpable life in our midst. "This is what it's all about," he'd say, smiling fondly and taking in the progress of his progeny.

My dad was right: Life blazes on and holds us in thrall with its bounty and blessings. Our family has journeyed on without his physical presence, and we even feel completely happy at times.

And who would have imagined that my mother, in her 80s and in frail health, would find a boyfriend? But she has, and she seems content in this new chapter of her life. Sometimes I want to resent her boyfriend, as though it's his fault that my dad is gone, as though he could ever replace my dad, but I know my dad would tell me to let it go.

One of my sisters has speculated that maybe our dad somehow arranged from the afterlife for this new guy to take care of his wife, since he was no longer around to do it. Maybe so: It would be like him to have picked a fellow Navy man.

I feel pensive during the trifecta. I suppose we learn at an early age that whenever love is involved, there will be loss. We lose our pets. We lose our oldest relatives. We lose our innocence. We lose our illusions. Sometimes we lose the very youngest among us, which is an even deeper sort of pain.

But we continue to love, and risk the consequences, because life is hollow without love. Our loved ones expand our hearts, elicit our loyalty, engage our selflessness, enlarge our life experience. We can't ignore death, especially a death that pains us so, but we can accept it as a stage of the life that stubbornly burgeons and blooms.

My siblings and I visit our dear departed dad's grave under the reliably shady oak tree every 4th of July. We bring flowers, breathe a prayer, maybe read a poem or play a song. We aren't much in the mood for corn-on-the-cob and parades and fireworks, but our dad really loved all that jazz, all that patriotic zeal, so we try.

When night comes and the fireworks are finished, the trifecta is two-thirds over for another year. Life will continue to delight us and inspire us and challenge us and occasionally break our hearts, and we will try to handle it all with the grace we were taught, and that we must now pass on to our children.

"Let grief be your sister, she will whether or no," writes the poet Mary Oliver, in "Flare," the poem that I brought this year graveside. "Rise up from the stump of sorrow, and be green also / like the diligent leaves."

Life really is a circle, a vine twirling and twining onto itself, and we all flower along the way, from life to death to life. We may never quite stop grieving when we lose someone we love, but with each day, we feel ourselves turning toward the light.

Living fully, being "green also," is how we honor those who have gone before us, how we keep the arc of the circle climbing.

This husband takes pictures of his wife who eventually died with breast cancer.  I felt it was nicely done and touching.

Captures Love and Loss Beautifully


That's it.  I'll see you next Sunday.             Rachel

A Change of Plans Regarding the Wedding

Well there is a change of plans regarding the wedding.  My grandson Billy contacted me right after I posted the plans and asked me if they could do their wedding at the beach.  "This is not my wedding.  You can do this however you please" .  He informs me that they have decided to do it at Pismo Beach.  The time went from seven to four in the evening.  Four is much better.  I made a reservation at a hotel because I don't think I can hang in there to drive home.  I didn't know you could make late arrangements for a wedding at the coast.  I suppose maybe it can just be a park setting, though I wonder if they can get into a restaurant.  I say a picnic instead, but it isn't my choice.  I'm really okay that it isn't at my home.  I understand the group was continuing to grow.

The plan was to meet three friends, Janet, Charmaine and Lisa at Muertos.   Lisa called Janet the day before and wanted to change it to Thursday.  I understand she wanted to get her vegetable garden in before getting together.  I understand that, but I couldn't do the change.  I can't eat out two times in a day. I felt bad, but I schedule gatherings so I don't overwhelm myself in a day.  I am learning to set limits, but it is hard.  I know some of my friends would think that couldn't be true because I'm so outspoken, but maybe it depends on the issue.   I still met with Janet that day. Always great getting together.

Had a session on drawing flowers with Norma Neil. I drew an incredibly huge and oddly shaped sunflower one of the women brought in. I kept smearing it, even when I put a barrier between my arm and the paper. I was using charcoal and pastels. Now I think I'll use a workable fixative that you can draw on for each layer. Below if the photo of the huge, misshapen sunflower.  From the back it looked like two sunflowers that joined together.  Lots of fun and relaxing.  One drawing class left.  I have gotten the notice for jury duty starting that Monday, but when I called this weekend, I got a reprieve.  I'm to call Monday night.

My beach scene in Carol Bradshaw's class is coming along.  Carol likes it, but wants me to soften the lines around the ball, and, I need to put more values (shades), particularly darker.  I have done the contour drawing of it several times. I tried sandpaper and put it under my drawing paper to give the sense of roughness for the sand. My plan was to draw the footprints and ball to not be affected by this. My fellow student Wayne and I message each other and I told him about it. He thought that was cleaver.  It didn't come through on the drawing paper like it did the tracing paper.  I let Wayne know and he suggested turning over the tracing paper to transfer the rough surface on the tracing paper to the drawing paper.  I had already finished my picture, so I didn't do it, but I will do that next time for that affect. Carol Bradshaw said she thought a lot during the week about my pine cone and she feels I should mat and frame it. Kind of stunned me. I don't think of what I do as being that good, but okay. I like that. She describes my drawing as having "attitude".  She wants me to erase around it and add just a piece at the bottom to not be so flat, so I'll do that and I will frame it.   I like that too!    At this time I don't know if I will be able to go to class this week or not because of Jury Duty.  I won't know until Monday night.  We have no class the following week.  Carol said to find a picture of a barn that we each could draw.  Deb, another member in our class but quite beyond us in expertise sent me several pictures.  I'm using the last one.  Good to work on a really weathered surface.

I saw this incredibly interesting pen that let's you copy a color exactly for hefty price of $150.  I'm not sure they are making it yet, but if not, it's coming out soon.  I'd wait to see what other people do with this.

Copy any Color in the World



Stella Young is a Disability Activist.  She feels that all too common compliment is actually an insult in disguise- the idea that just being handicapped makes you special.  She does not think so.  Well stated. It's siimilar to someone with a terminal diagnosis.  That does not make someone a hero.  I'm not a hero. At least not because I'm dying.  We are all going to die.  If anything, and really I don't think it is so spectacular, it would be talking openly about it.  I really just want to take it out of the closet.  Anyway, she really states it well in a TED talk.  I don't think people mean to be insulting.  They are just not in that position and so they can't imagine coping with what that person is coping with.  Those who have gone through it, don't see it the same way.

I'm Not Special


Jennifer offered for me to come over for dinner, but I had already gone out with Janet and I declined. Later I get a call from Kayla that the pipes backed up and they couldn't stay there and could they come over. Sure. Picked up things they needed from home and went to the store to get a couple additional food items  It ended up being two nights.  My cats were in hiding during this time.  I felt somewhat displaced.  I'm so used to being alone now.  I worry that family want to move in and take care of me.  I certainly don't want that.  The plumbing problem is still not fixed as far as I know.  My grandson Devin came over yesterday for a shower.  I hope they fix this soon.  If anyone knows, if it ends up being covered by insurance, and let's say they have to go through the floor to pipes and the floor is destroyed, wouldn't they take responsibility to fix this so the house is whole again?  Really do need to know.  I'll pass the info on if you have something to share.

I found this wonderful saying on Facebook.  It came from The Mind Unleashed, but I have no idea who was the specific person who said it, but it is wonderful.

LIFE'S JOURNEY IS NOT

TO ARRIVE AT THE

GRAVE SAFELY IN A 

WELL PRESERVED BODY,

BUT RATHER TO SKID IN

SIDEWAYS TOTALLY

WORN OUT, SHOUTING

"HOLY SHIT...WHAT A

RIDE!"

This is a wonderful article "How We Grieve" by Maria Popova and a review of the book "The Long Goodbye" by Meghan O'Rourke written in 2011.  I have not read the book but I did order it.  It is not available on Kindle.

How We Grieve


By the way, Brain Pickings is a wonderful site to find some excellent thoughtful writing. They would love donations for the hundreds of hours of research they do for us.  You'll see when you check it out.

Today my friends Sherry and Valerie came over for a late lunch.  I made an asparagus quiche and a toma basil salad.  We had  a great Pinot Noir with it. It was wonderful sharing and laughing the way we used to be.  I talked about getting all of us together again and doing a barbecue, perhaps salmon.  I have wonderful memories of doing this.  I also thought it would be great to share the pictures we may have taken during that time.  I would love that.  We are old time friends from over 30 years ago.  There are a couple of other women who were a part of this group.  We worked on writing a paper requesting a grant to start a half-way home for older women dealing with alcoholism that wanted and needed help to stop. Our grant was not approved, though we only submitted it to one place, so I don't think we gave it enough of a try.  But that experience, which was about a year, bonded us together and is a meaningful part of my life.   This is one of those group friendships you don't want to lose.  I hope we can get together with the other two in the near future.

My granddaughter Kayla and a girlfriend of hers are going with me next Saturday to my friend Martha's home which abuts a river.   We are going to camp there and partake in the food, people and festivities.  It was wonderful last year.  I think the girls will get a kick out of this.

Well, that's it for the week.  I hope you share this with people who might be interested.  I'm happy you read it.  Any thoughts on what to include, or not to include are appreciated.  I'll see you next Sunday.        Rachel

From Sky Lanterns to Planning Weddings

This is how I read in bed

My granddaughter Kayla told me on Sunday while we were out to lunch on Sunday that she was going to summer school starting the next day.  She hadn't mentioned it before.  She told me she might stay with a friend during that time to cut the walking down (though it isn't much further from where she was going to school).  Later that evening she texts me and says she has to register Monday morning and I tell  her I would sleep in, but she says she has to be there by 7:00 am.  I panic thinking can I even do this?  If I stretch myself too far, I'm going to crash, but I agree and have to set two alarms because I'm afraid I'll miss one of them.  Of course I don't, but I drag myself out of bed, put on the coffee and text her back (this is the way the kids want to communicate- they have taught me how to do this).  "You better be ready, because I'm picking you up at 6:45.  She texts me back saying she doesn't have to be there until 7:20 and to pick her up at 7:10.  I think I could have had more sleep!  Oh well.  I pick her up and we end up in this auditorium with lots of kids and some parents.  These are all the ones that didn't get summer school.  They were going to have security check each class that was going to say how many could get in.  Kayla eventually wanted to sit with her friends and I told her no because I wouldn't know what was going on.  She says "You can go", and I asked "Why was I here?", she says "I don't know".  Huh!  So I left.  When I text her later asking if she got in she said there were no spots.

I crawled back in bed because I was really shorted on sleep.   I recovered well enough to go to a session.  I had an art "class" at the Art and Spirituality Center with Norma Neil.  This time it was on flowers.  I drew a lily with color pencils.

Lily

It was a good group, about nine women.  Everybody did different flowers using different styles.  Loved it! Relaxing and pleasant conversation at the table. We were going to meet outside and were told to bring a folding chair, a sunhat and water in addition to any art supplies of our own we wanted (they do supply it).  Well it was too warm and Norma brought flowers from home and the center had some artificial flowers to work on.  One woman brought a big folding chair, but I had an incident when my brother visited that I was exhausted when we went to the county fair.  My daughter Shelley found a cane that becomes a seat and I was able to get it during the same day.  They are available through Amazon, but I'm sure there are many places to get one.  The price range I saw was $22 to $36.  Here is a picture of it.  It is very light weight, and you can really use it as a cane.  I don't need a cane, but I do need a portable chair.  You sit on it like a horse, with the cane part in front of you.  I highly recommend it, if you need something small and lightweight to rest.  It makes a difference.  I took it touring Japan.

Cane Chair

Tuesday would have been my husband Paul's 73rd birthday if he was still living.  He died just before his 66th birthday. When I showed family the "selfie" I took with Paul (the marker at the cemetery), it became an emotional issue for several.  I had gone to a friend's remembrance of her mother.  They had used sky lanterns and I thought we could do the same, but on his birthday so I would have enough time to order and receive them.  Heather and Alyssa had to work so I left the sky lanterns for them to use later with some great left over dessert.  Shelley, Kevin, Kayla and Devin participated.  It was a little anxiety provoking for Shelley and me because there was a wind.  We initially thought of lighting several at one time, but it wasn't a good day for doing that.  We watched them float up and eventually go out.  Here are some pictures of the event.

and a couple from Alyssa doing it a day later.

Devin, Kayla, Kevin and Rachel

Kevin and Shelley

Rachel

Alyssa

Sky Lantern lit

Heather and Wesley putting up a sky lantern

Carol Bradshaw, my art teacher had asked us to bring in a picture of a beach scene.  I had been walking down the beach early in the morning before the tourists got out there.  The vendors were setting up.  If you wanted to sit here, you would rent the space. This is the picture I brought in from my trip to Costa Rica with a friend.  Everything was centered.  One thing in art is that you can decide how you want to compose your picture.  Carol made black and white copies of my picture, then cut it up and pasted it back together in different ways to see there were multiple pictures to draw out of this one picture.  At the 6th time, including the original picture, I found the one I liked.  She said we could add things, take them away, whatever worked for the story we wanted to tell.  So our assignment for the week was to pick the one we wanted, then transfer our drawing to good paper with just an outline.  The following week we would work on the marks that would give it dimension and true feeling.  This is the original picture.

So now I have taken my pictures to The Art and Spirituality Center and have been drawing it and deciding what I'll do with it.  Norma Neil drops by because she has a friend in surgery and doesn't want to wait in the waiting room (I don't blame her).  I show her what I'm working on and she suggests beach "things" to add and draw attention to the umbrella and the person there.  So I decided on the footprints mainly, but I also put in a beach ball.  I decided against the beach towel (harder for me to draw). So I moved the umbrella and chairs to the left, the islands are not on the same plane, the spacing is changed.  There is someone in the chair where the footprints lead and there is a beach ball.  I'll be adding a couple of seagulls.  Next session will be fill in to give dimension and more interest.

On Good Paper

On Tracing Paper

My grandson Billy came with his girlfriend Meaghan and their son Conner for lunch.  He is such a cutie!. Well they announced to me that they are getting married on July 5th and they want me to be there.  On further discussion my role got bigger and I offered to have the wedding at my home if they do all the work set up and clean up.  They said they asked a friend to do their pictures, but she was going to charge them $700 (which is reasonable if they are well done and she isn't your best friend), but they don't have the money.  Since I have done many of my kids weddings I said I would with a caveat, I'm not a professional, I cut one of the groom's head off in several pictures and I have this problem now where I have to go to sleep because I have reached my maximum amount of excitement.  If they were willing to deal with that and we could take some wedding pictures away from this setting, I would do it.  We settled on doing pictures, the Monday after the wedding at Central Park in the morning.   Of course, I'll do my best to get some nice pictures of the wedding ceremony and the guests.  I also got a ticket for Ronda Sheldon, my daughter and Billy's mom to come out for the wedding.  That is now set.  Billy called and said grandmother Sherran Toy is a minister and she would be doing the wedding which will all be in the backyard.  Meaghan's mom, Dainette Toy will be coming to see what everything looks like to figure out how she would do the event.  She will organize and I think round up people to help her.  I think it will be a full meal, because they wanted to know my dressing.  By the way, everyone asks me this.  It is Good Seasons Italian Dressing using plain rice vinegar and the best olive oil you can use.  Then I get a bag of mixed lettuces, grape or cherry tomatoes cut in half, a handful of broken walnuts and a handful of raisins or dried cranberries and cheese such as Gorgonzola, Blu Cheese or Feta Cheese, something that is crumbly.  Don't put all the dressing on, just enough to coat it at the last minute before serving it.  It's like you want to keep them coming back for more.  I gave Billy a lot of pictures of his mom (some of me and my family), and pictures I have received of his while growing up.  We swapped stories and now he has some to share with his children about his background when they are older. A couple of pictures from that day.  Ronda is bringing a lot of pictures for Billy when she comes.  It will be a good event.  How could it not be?

Rachel and Conner

Billy and Conner

So I had dinner with my friend Janet who feels I am drifting away and not present with her when we get together.  I thought that was probably true that evening, but I think I feel overwhelmed and I have to take more breaks.  As my grandson Billy said, "Grandma Rachel each week you say you are going to slow down, but each week you say 'it's been a busy week', and I think you only said you rested one week".  Smart guy. He is right.  I really can't keep this pace up.  But, I keep thinking I'm going to miss something.  It also has been a big period of memorable occasions which I think has to let up.  I don't want to miss them.  If I could only put everything on my schedule and space them reasonably for me!  But that isn't how it works.  On Saturday, I stayed home and primarily worked on this blog.  I do enjoy doing that.  I just can't be ON all the time.  I don't do well with that.

My friend Barbara Long came over today.  She picked up a vegetarian sandwich at Subway and brought a bottle of Cabernet she picked up at Korbel in Sonoma County (I thought they only did champagne!).  It was their cellar selection and delicious!  She went up for five days on her own, seeing family she hasn't seen in like forever and seeing the areas where she lived as a young child.  She is also working on her geneology and continues to get more information whenever she travels.  It sounded like a great trip, but she, like me, need time to recover from these events.  It was a good story to hear.  Below is a selfie of Barbara Long and me.

Barbara Long and Rachel Jerdin

This was a blog published in the New York Times about living with cancer that is chronic by Susan Gubar. Very good.
Living with Cancer, Chronic, Not Cured

Here is a site on the internet.  This information is helpful for those having lost someone important to them.
The Grief Toolbox

The Huffington Post on May 31, 2014 had an article on a mom making these teddy bears for her children.  It turned fallen soldier's uniforms into teddy bears for mourning children.  Don't forget the kids in the grieving process.
Turn Fallen Soldiers Uniform into Teddy Bears


I think that is enough for this week.  I am going to try to get at least one day a week that I don't go out.  I'll see if that helps me more.  Thanks for reading and pass this to people you think might be interested.  See you next Sunday.

Can I Write?

On Monday there was a beautiful quilt shared by someone on wimp.com.  This person's step-father had the quilt made from his wife's clothes.  I'll assume it was a daughter who go it, because there is no identification as to who shared this.  Now the daughter pulls it out every Mother's Day in remembrance of her mother.

I already had the thought of taking all the t shirts I have, some having belonged to Paul and making a quilt out of that.  Perhaps I'll take a class in that or see if I can talk Shelley into doing it (or maybe we can do it together).  The problem is that Shelley has an incredibly full life and I don't want her to be burdened with a "have-to".  But even after I'm gone, I think it would still be a great idea.

Here is an incident my mother wrote about.  I very much remember this, because we all started laughing hysterically afterwards, because I think we really did think God had just answered us.

YOU BE JESUS AND I'LL BE GOD

When the kids said they were Jewish, the neighborhood kids

asked them if they wouldn't like to learn to pray so they

could be American.

Before their parents could clarify the situation, the

children were all kneeling in the living room.

Friend Sally said to Ben, "Now you be Jesus and

I'll be God".

"Okay," Ben folded his hands and they all closed their eyes

just as George, their father, was coming up the hallway.

Sally said, "Now, after me:  "Dear God....." as she

piously waited for the response.

George pitched his voice very low and slowly sad:

"Y-e-s?"

Here is a picture of my dad, George with his mother Fannie and a picture of my brother Ben, maybe around four years old.

Here are a few pictures from Mothers Day.  Jennifer and her children Crystal, Kayla and Devin didn't get in the act.  Kayla's friend Mariah also was there.  Shelley always gets pictures.  Alyssa's boyfriend Jeremy, his mother Diana and sister Brooke also came.  Breanna, Alyssa's and Heather's little sister was also there. Heather was with her boyfriend's family.

Rachel and Shelley

Kevin, Shelley and Alyssa

Alyssa, Kevin, Shelley, Jeremy, Diana and Brooke

Heather received an award Monday night for how well she did at Highland High School  She received The Golden State Seal for outstanding achievement in the California Standards Tests.  Her boyfriend Wesley, her parents Shelley and Chris and I went.  Got pictures, but Wesley is not in them.

Chris, Heather and Shelley

Heather and Shelley

Rachel and Heather

We agreed to go out Saturday night to Macaroni Grill for a celebration.  Heather, her boyfriend Wesley, Shelley and I were there.  Very nice get together.  I "grilled" Wesley on his future plans.  He is working to become an electrician.  That is a good profession.   Heather's plan is to go on to Bakersfield College first.  She was a GATE student which is way beyond the regular student in intelligence.  She finished high school early and finds the talk of most kids her age as superficial.  I think she could be really bored with the things most of us do and perhaps even by the talk of people who are not where she is.  If she had a higher degree, she has a better chance of working independently or doing something she really loves that she wouldn't see as just a "job".  I saw her becoming an engineer, doctor, scientist, geologist, anthropologist, mathematician, something using that great intelligence she has.  I gave her the talk about it being much easier to do things earlier in life because life interferes with plans later.  She has so much to give the world.  I hate to see us denied of this.

I enjoy going to The Art and Spirituality Center.  I had another session on drawing in the healing garden. Below is the result of that.  Another fountain there.   There are at least five fountains in that garden.  I really love it.  Also, the open studio there is a great setting for just working on what you have.  The music and setting are soothing.

 My friend Kimberley who volunteers at the Art and Spirituality Center recommended a musical at The Empty Space called Into the Woods which she praised highly saying her children, Kenna and Jackson wanted to go again.  They are still playing next weekend if you want to make reservations (give them a call). A friend and two of my grand kids were tied up so I decided to go alone.  I am so glad I went.  It was a fantastic musical done by a fantastic theater group.  I promise, you will not be disappointed if you go. Recommended donation is $15 each, students and seniors are $10 each (this is a real deal).  Call 661-327-7529 to reserve seats.  Leave a message saying which show, your name and phone number and how many seats.  If there is a problem accommodating you, they will call you back.  This is their Facebook page: The Empty Space and this is their web page: The Empty Space.  They are on Oak Street in Bakersfield, CA.

No class with Carol Bradshaw this week.  She did contact us by email and we will be doing goats as the next animal we attempt to draw.  I'm also collecting seascapes and landscapes.  She is suggesting getting a picture with a waterfall.  I really want to work on water and make it seem like it is really flowing and rippling. I'll also continue to work on my pine cone.

I've read a couple of books I would like to tell you about.   The first book was The Sheep Walker's Daughter by Sydney Avey.  I enjoyed this one.  A woman I met at a writing class told me the author was at Barnes and Noble, so I went by and got a copy signed for me and my daughter Shelley.  This was about a granddaughter finding her roots.  Her mother was kept in the dark about her father's heritage.  Her grandmother died and this started a search for roots by the granddaughter and a search for meaning for the daughter.  It is a touching story and also touches on the relationships between mothers and daughters which can be so complicated.  I really did enjoy this one and recommend it as a good read.  The other one was The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav.  I was not impressed with this book, but I'm in the minority about this. This writer talks about angels and reincarnation as if they are facts.  I don't buy into this.  I use the word Karma and think about what I do will be reflected in the treatment of me by others.  In this book, it talks about it perhaps being in another life, perhaps hundreds of years later.  How it was approached makes it seem that poor people are dealing with Karma from a previous life.  I can't abide by that.  This makes the victims the bad guys.  Sorry, this is not acceptable to me.  I was okay about growth we can have and the need to work together.  I see science as a wonderful field though and I certainly didn't get the feeling of that in this book.  I also just found it difficult to wade through as if it was a text book.

On Saturday morning I went to the Kern Writers meeting.  I have never been to something like this.  There were published and non-published writers there.  They urged us to consider joining and then get in a critique group where you would get supportive feedback from others if you were aiming to publish.  A person has to hand in three examples of their writing and pay the nominal fee.  It is not necessary to be a published writer. Several people who were in the writing group at Art for Healing were there.  One writer Don Thompson shared from his book Local Color, poems or the places, people and events of Kern County.  He uses words so well!  I think I will submit my writing.  I'd like to associate with these people.

Barbara Long worked on putting up the tent she bought because we are doing a short camping trip this next week.  Of course, we would pick the hottest day and the hottest time of the day to do this!  We sat on her patio which was lovely.  She fixed it up and it is a wonderful place to lounge now.  While there, we kept hearing a very young kitten crying that to me sounded like it was in distress.  We found two of the kittens knotted up in a string trellis for tomatoes.  The mom pick this place without Barbara's permission and growled as we tried to get close.  She is feral and was threatening us, so I sprayed mom when she was upset with Barbara being too close.  Barbara had to take a knife to cut the strings.  It was slow going and I was sure one of them was strangled, but when we checked later, there was definite movement and they were nursing.

Barbara and I shopped for our food, picking things that were healthy and also very tasty.  We split the booty to place in each of our refrigerators.

Today I packed up the car for our camping trip.  There was also a film at The Art and Spirituality Center called "Happy"  It was a good documentary.  It has received multiple awards and it has created a movement. If you are interested, go to their website The Happy Movie.

Pretty full week.  Please share this if you feel someone would benefit by it.  Thank you for reading and I will see you next week.              Rachel

Seventh Anniversary of Paul's Death

Last June at my friend Martha Elizalde Hense's Home

My great grandson Conner is almost a month old.  I don't hear much, but I have been getting pictures.  My grandson Billy has been sick for a week and I'm looking forward to him feeling better and spending the day at my home.  So, I had to get some pictures.  Billy sent me a couple and the other was from checking Facebook.

I set the DVR for most of my television viewing so I can watch programs I wouldn't otherwise see. CBS News Sunday Morning focused on issues about death and dying - The first was Mitch Albom who wrote Tuesdays with Morrie  (which was an excellent book) and who has done a lot of people oriented activities since and said "When I lose people, I recognize how small I really am in this whole picture";then,  a town where well over 90% of the adults had completed an Advance Directive; then, how comedians "die" on the stage; and then,  Is there a good death? - a man invited a photographer into his life when he was dying. Most wants to die at home with family around, but only one in four do this.  This man wrote  a memoir, had his cat there and listened to classical music; the losing of a loved one who had a long and full life is still painful.
What is so good about all this is taking the subject of death and dying out of the closet and encouraging a public conversation on what people are thinking about but will not say out loud.

I went to Hart Park again. It was warm in the sun and cool in the shade. I was near ducks and geese and I had my camera with me and when I would move toward them they would raise a ruckus.  When I stayed at the table, they were fine. People came by to feed the ducks  and geese but generally they did not get upset with them. After these people left, they situated themselves by me standing on one leg and tucking their head or sitting on the ground with their eyes closed. It seemed like nap time after eating. I also worked on drawing my birdhouse and nest while I was there.   My proportions are wrong in terms of getting perspective of lines which are further away.  Robert a man who comes to Art for Healing recommended the butterfly to balance the picture.  Good idea!

My friend Leslie Gillin's mother died a year ago this last Monday. She asked if some of her friends would join her for dinner at California Pizza Kitchen for support. Well, two other friends I know were there.  I met Jan Wiley at Art for Healing and we took a drawing class at Bakersfield College through their adult learning program The Levan Institute.   Donna Collier who was an RN at the Health Department working with HIV positively diagnosed people. I contracted with that program as a social worker and we became very close as a result of that work. She came to the memorial service for my husband.   That was such a bad time for me I don't remember.  Anyway Leslie was going to her meditation teacher Francine Papadimitrakis's home to release a lighted sky lantern as a way to release good thoughts, prayers and/or messages to our loved one who has died. We were invited. She served us a pleasant dessert that was a part of her Greek culture and then we had a very nice conversation about yoga, meditation healing, etc.   She had us deal with these lanterns in twos since they were quite big. We lit this black square which sent heat into the lantern and rose very high and either moved out of our vision or went out on its own.  She said she couldn't find sky lanterns locally and had ordered them online.  I will also check Francine's classes at The Yoga Space in Bakersfield. She uses a healing model which is something I could use.  It was a magical experience and I think that the Jerdin Family might want to do this.  We are going to do the sky lanterns on Paul's birthday at Shelley's home.   I ordered the sky lanterns through Amazon.com. I'll pick up a dessert and as soon as the sun has disappeared, we will light these and send positive energy from us to Paul.  I believe it will be cathartic.

 Wednesday, April 30th was the seventh anniversary of my husband Paul's death. I still miss him and probably always will. I went to the cemetery where his ashes are and where I've made arrangements for my ashes to go. The setting is very peaceful and I talk to him when I'm there.  We were married April 12, so it makes for a month of remembering.  It is okay, even if I do cry.  We had pictures done while we were there, though our marriage was a civil ceremony.  We went to a photography studio and pointed at our rings and hugged each other.  They didn't speak English, but they did understand that.  Below is one of the pictures taken and then I did a "selfie" at the cemetery with Paul.

I realize this is very odd to some people.  I would like it to be a natural and if people want to talk about they should be able to.  It helps me and I hope it helps you.  Let's get the conversation going.  See you next Sunday.            Rachel