A Tough Time for a Lot of People

This week has been very nippy, but the sky is very blue. It is around eleven in the morning this Sunday and it is 39 degrees. I don't think of it being that cold when the sun is so bright. 

So on Monday I had Occupational Therapy. I have a little more range of motion. Next session is New Years Eve Day. 

For the rest of the day I made fudge. Three sets of books I got for my grandkids came from The United Kingdom and the other from Sweden. It was amazing that they came from so far away. Two of the sets gave me a huge window of delivery saying they could come as late as January 20.  so I had been trying to figure out what I'd do if it didn't come, so I was okay. 

On Tuesday I wrapped presents and got the items I wanted to make roasted vegetables and a green salad for Christmas at Shelley's home. That evening I went to a surprise birthday party for my grandson Billy at Rusty's Pizza. I gave them their Christmas presents to take home. 

Billy's birthday (with his son Conner) is Christmas Day but it is done earlier to celebrate his day

Conner loves to stand up

Christmas Day I finished my wrapping, got the food prepared that I was taking and took the fudge I made and wine to my daughter Shelley's home a little after 4 pm.  Dinner was ready a little after 5 pm.  An amazing accomplishment!  Her home was decorated very nicely.  Great snacks and dinner was fabulous. We opened presents before eating. Everyone had a great time. I had a couple of glasses of wine and was done for the evening. I got three of my grandkids books. I would like to do more of that, because I think reading is good for the soul. 

Crystal, Shelley, Kevin and me, Rachel

Sisters Shelley Schmitt and Jennifer Kline

Wes and Heather

Shelley and oldest daughter Alyssa

Wes, Heather, Alyssa, Jennifer and Devin

Kevin, Shelley and Heather

Kevin with mom Shelley

Heather had her 18th birthday on Saturday.  She graduated from high school when she was 16 1/2 years old.  She got loving wishes from the family and friends.

Heather with her dad Chris (acting silly)

On Saturday Barbara and I went to Chef's Choice for Thai food. Very good as usual. We walked around Eye and 19th Streets.  There is a new Sushi restaurant going in on 19th Street and The Bakersfield Art Association Center is moving around the corner to be on 19th Street also, by Kuka's and The Mark.  A very good move.  Not sure of the date, but the signs of the change are on the doors.

Barbara and I saw Annie at the Maya Theater. Very light weight, but neither of us wanted to see anything heavy. It worked well for us. Barbara's mom died last year and the holidays are a rough time.

My daughter Ronda prefers to do a Goth look in photos.  I prefer to see her smiling, so here is one with her niece Erin where they are playing around and also her Goth look.  She is pretty, I just like a smile and rarely see it in pictures.

                     

Erin and my daughter Ronda

Ronda with her Goth look, pretty but no smile!

So my great-grandson is now able to crawl, he also likes to stand, but he has to hold on to something.

Conner riding his horse

Conner with mom Meagan

Conner loves to Eat!

My grandson Devin, went Geocaching and actually found something!

Devin with his cousin Heather

Devin Found It!

Posts from friends who have had major losses share a sense of loneliness. One woman who lost her husband awhile back doesn't want to be around others while she feels so lonely. Having people around doesn't lessen this feeling for her. She would rather be alone. Another friend shares how when her parents were alive, they had enchiladas and tamales. They still do this but it doesn't taste quite the same and missing these key people in their celebration tones down the feelings they have had.

One thing I think of about dying is that we leave a little bit of ourselves with our contact with others.  I don't mean the biological connection.  I think we leave a mark that influences the next generation, so it is important to make memories and teach the next generation things we know that they wouldn't know without hearing it from someone who lived it. 

These tips are helpful to consider during the holidays. It is from The Grieving Tool Box:

Helping Yourself During the Holidays

The Light of Darkness

Christmas without a Loved One

How to Support Someone Going Through a Loss During the Holidays

So all these ideas are ones I have used at different times. I'm not exactly the same as I was before losing all these important people in my life. I had no choice, but I have grown a lot as a result of these losses.  Frankly, I'd be okay with being boring, but it was not to be!

A fascinating article in Salon.com (really interesting articles here!) on near death experiences and out of body experiences:

www.salon.com/2012/04/21/near_death_explained/

So that is it for the week.  I'm thinking of all of you and hope the holidays were okay for you.  If not, at least they are over which I really used to feel such relief about that.  I'll see you next Sunday.      Rachel

Wow, What A Wonderful Week!

So when weather reports show lots of rain coming to Bakersfield, it is not worth getting excited about. Skies looked like they would break again, but they didn't.  Here is a picture my daughter Shelley Jerdin Schmitt took after one of our recent rains. 

Rainbow over Bakersfield, taken by Shelley Schmitt

So Norma Neil had a somewhat "impromptu" art session at The Art for Healing Center where were brought food to supplement the soup she made.  That was a good idea.    It wasn't on the full schedule.  She showed us other mediums to use and special techniques.  I loved it but was done in because I had Occupational Therapy before it.  I was out and about for seven hours.  A little bit too much for me.  I need to bring a cot along with me!

I thought my friend Janet and I wouldn't be able to see the Holiday Lights at CALM (California Living Museum), but it held. Love this!  It is so magical!  Last year it was in Sunset Magazine as one of the 10 best holiday experiences in California. Now I just heard of another one that I understand started last year called Bakersfield Christmas Village. It is a little more expensive. I understand there is also ice skating there.  Perhaps I'll check it out next year. 

Holiday Lights at CALM by Janet Seinturier

My niece Shannon, her husband Patrick and their son Jordan were here this weekend. We went to the Holiday Lights at CALM. I loved it as much as the first time.   There were some sprinkles, but it stopped before we got in.  At my home they put up picture tiles on my patio and put the bird feeder in a tree.  With it on my patio before, I had bird doo everywhere! They gave me an owl with various scented oils. We are burning winter pine on the patio and have my sound effects of birds and my fountain going for the water effect. The outdoor heater is on. It is sooo wonderful right now!

Shannon and Patrick McDonnell

Shannon and Rachel

Holiday Lights by Shannon McDonnell

Holiday Lights by Shannon McDonnell

We went for brunch at Anita's on 178 meeting my daughter Shelley there. Delicious!

My Daughter Shelley Schmitt, Niece Shannon her husband Patrick McDonnell
and their son Jordan McDonnell

Then we went Geocaching.  Didn't know a thing about it, but it was worth it!  They picked two easy ones and we found them driving around town.  So much fun. It is an adventure. They are puzzles ranging from easy to hard.  You can download the application for android phones and iPhones. There are free ones. The one I got cost 9.99.  This is the official one connected to the web site.  It has a GPS and a compass. The rest of the family has now heard and is trying it out. Who would have known? Millions of people all over the world do this. 

The main website that will teach you about this is:

Geocaching

Jordan and I opening the first one at the Albertson Shopping Center

This one was in the parking lot at Albertsons near my home.

On the left is Wes Sandiford with my Granddaughter Heather Estes
and my Grandson Kevin Schmitt.  They are excited to find their
first in Geocaching.

So I have written down several tasks to get done in the next two weeks. First, if I write it down, I won't forget it and I am so much more likely to get them done. It is also satisfying to cross them off as I get them done. 

Here is a sentiment that fits for me and I think many others keep it in mind or share it.  It comes from HealingWell.com

It is chilly - much more like I expect it to feel at this time of year.   It is hard for me to find the right temperature in the house. I'm bundled up. 70 degrees feels like the cold is seeping in!  That seems so ridiculous!  I'm putting another layer on. 

Had lunch with Janet, Lisa and Charmaine at Sandrini's. It is an Italian and Basque Fusion. Very tasty food.  I've met Lisa ( who cuts my hair) and Charmaine (who does real estate) through Janet.  They are all locals.  I came here when I was 27. It is interesting to hear their stories. 

My great-grandson Conner is trying so hard to get up to a standing position. Not there yet, but close. 

Harvard Medical School puts put a newsletter and publishes papers on a variety of issues. This one had questions and answers about end of life  issues. I have had questions about this, so I figured others did too.

http://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/archive

In the December 18, 2014 issue, they talk about commonly held myths about end-of-life issues and about living wills.  It is free to subscribe to their email, but you don't have to subscribe to read them.

There is also a useful site called Grief Tool Box.  You might want to check it out.  I like it!

http://thegrieftoolbox.com/

So that is it for the week.  I liked it.  I hope yours is going well.  Christmas is around the corner.  I hope everyone who celebrates Christmas enjoys it.  I like it as a family gathering.  Happy Hanukkah for those who celebrate it.  Whatever is your celebration, enjoy it.  See you next Sunday.          Rachel

Storms Begin

So this last week didn't turn out to be as busy as scheduled. Sickness, conflicts and weather changed that, but I was okay with that. It added some nice down time.  

The Bakersfield Californian described our rain as Stormageddon.  Though it was a lot of wind rain for us and fairly steady rain, this seemed a little too dramatic for what we experienced. I understand more rain is expected but not as strong as we just had. Bakersfield does not have as good of a drainage system as many other areas, so it has no place to go but to flood streets.  I enjoyed our experience of rain.   We get so little.  We are getting the more typical weather for this area, a Tule fog. It comes from the ground. It is very dank and when you are in it, it seems to get in the bones. The fastest way for me to warm up is get in a hot bath, though I now have major difficulty getting in and out of a bath and now take showers. 

So as I told you on the last blog, Barbara and I saw Mark 209 brought in by the Bakersfield Community Concert Association. The December show is a Christmas show. Beautiful voices doing four part harmony. Each added a lot to the group. I was particularly impressed with the bass. He even did a little Papa Oom Mow Mow. His voice comes from the chest and I can feel it as he sings. Very sonorous. The association said attendance and patrons are steadily declining and if this didn't turn around, this program would have to end. It costs $80 a year for eight shows.  They are truly excellent.  It is an incredible bargain when you buy the series. If you buy two, you would have an extra to invite someone or if you are unable to attend, whoever you loan your ticket to would have one for a guest. Otherwise, I believe each show is $50 if you buy them individually.  Please people!  All you who live locally consider buying a pass or passes next year. When I can't go, I loan my card out to someone who can go, so it is not wasted. You'll be glad you did. 

Barbara and I went to Rosa's afterwards. Though the place was packed,we were able to be seated right away. I had the clams and fettuccini with garlic and olive oil (yum)!  Barbara has a pasta dish with a marinara sauce. She is vegan and also watches the fat she eats. She asked for less oil on her dish which they did. Very accommodating. Excellent food, and only a mile from my home!

I had two sessions with occupational therapy. She is showing me strength exercises. I now understand I will always need to exercise my fingers and wrist to keep them flexible. I also saw Dr. Wong. Both feel I have done very well. I told him I have known people who  returned to how they were before the injury. He said "They were much younger. It is not the same for older people."  My next appointment with him is in six months. 

A woman that my husband I worked with many years ago died. Margaret Smith worked in accounting at Memorial Hospital. When my mother died, she wrote the kindest note I had ever gotten. It was so sensitive and sweet. I was not really close to her, but my husband Paul was. Her sentiments were unexpected and meant a lot to me. When Paul and I had a home built and I decided to throw an open house party, Margaret offered to help me with the snacks. She was the accountant to the local Marie Callendars and was able to buy the crust to their pie. She showed me how to prepare many appetizers which ended up being a hit at the party. She was a very special woman. So at the memorial service and then afterwards at Marie Callendars where they had a private room, I saw people I hadn't seen since Paul's memorial service or since I had left Memorial Hospital. I exchanged phone numbers with two couples Carol and Jim and Pat with her husband Joe. Most people I didn't know, a few I recognized but no idea as to how, though I assume we worked together at Memorial  Hospital. I did recognize June but we have a very strained relationship though I'm not sure why.  Anyway, the two couples I did connect with agreed to lunch after the holidays. I look forward to that!

I went down to Los Angeles to see Kate.  We saw a play at the Music Center called Blithe Spirit by Noel Coward.  Angela Lansbury played an eccentric medium and clairvoyant. Her moves were hilarious. I've always seen her as a proper older woman. This was a little different. I recommend it. Lots of fun!  She looks soooo good!

Angela Lansbury

Get a little flavor of the play    -        Angela Lansbury in Blithe Spirit

We went to this popular Italian restaurant in Pasadena, Il Fornio. We hadn't been there in years and we were concerned if it would hold the same standards. It didn't disappoint. Very tasty. The next morning we had breakfast at Green Street. They have tasty food well prepared.

So Carol our art teacher will be back January 20th she thinks.  It still depends on how she does, but she is coming along.  I need her here so I work on my art.  I've been lazy, when it comes to my art, so I'll get going again.

My daughter Ronda posted some new pictures of herself.  She looks very good, I just wish she would smile, but she doesn't go for that type of picture.  I also like the short haircut.

My daughter Ronda Sheldon

Brothers Gavin and Conner (Conner is my great-grandson) playing:

https://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.sherran/posts/10204660368460542:1

So now I'm home again having a glass of wine while I finish this. Hope everyone is well and I'll see you next Sunday. 

Holiday Celebrations Begin

We finally got rain Tuesday!   What a nice change. Leaves are down because of the wind. I really like this. Since it has been so dry, it is a pleasant and much needed change. However, no rain for the rest of the week.

Linda Mather thinks I'm doing great in Occupational Therapy.  What I worry about is the pain in my index finger and the limits in movement in my wrist.  I want this to improve.  I was hoping she wouldn't end my therapy earlier than what has already been approved. So I did talk to her about it, but what I did find out is that I will always have to exercise this to keep movement in my hand. I was told the same thing about my back. I had this naive idea that I would just get back to before injury state and not have to exercise. NOT!  These things then become a part of my life. Oh, and she isn't ending my therapy early!

I went with my friend Barbara to a potluck fundraiser for the Audubon Society. I made a fruit salad and Barbara made a pasta dish with a homemade marinara sauce (delicious).   They had a silent auction and an auction caller for the other type of auction.  They had three items I would have liked.  One was a handmade quilt, the other two were tours by van through Tejon Ranch and through Wind Wolves Preserve each for several people. My friend and I bid on the tours, but it got way too expensive for us. But it was fun.   (I'm going to check out these tours because I would really love to do this with friends.)  They had never had such action in the past and everyone enjoyed it. I think they raised more money than they ever have. There were also students from Bakersfield High School who sang Christmas Carols. Lovely!

My Red Hat dinner was at the Hungry Hunter. We make our reservations way ahead of time and asked for this table in front of the fireplace where we do an exchange of Christmas ornaments. Well there was a large group of men at "our" table. In addition they put us at a table for eight, when there were nine of us and didn't respond to us when we pointed this out. Our leader Evelyn found a chair and made room next to her at the head of the table for the ninth person in our group. Though the food was good, the treatment was not. Our group will not go back there again. 

Me with my fellow Red Hatters Pamela and Vicki

We drew numbers to pick a present in order.  I got this Santa from Jo.  Love it!

So I saw my oncologist Dr. Tun this week before my chemotherapy.  Tests I had came out okay, but for some reason, I didn't get the test for the tumor marker. He said the next time I go in for blood work, this test will be done.   I did tell him about seeing a surgeon in Los Angeles who had asked me why I would overdose on calcium. I said to Dr. Tun, "why would I do this?"  So I had thought about what I had been doing and told him I have a lot of stomach pain and take Tums regularly.   He said "that would do it, since it is calcium".  He suggested I take Prilosec or Pepcid. He said to take Tums when this doesn't work. I told my nurse about this and she told me to contact my primary doctor about this. I told her I've had this problem for years and thought I was doing what I should do.  She made me promise to let my primary doctor know. I agreed to but said I wanted my vision checked by an ophthalmologist before I went for new glasses because I thought something was going on with my eyesight that might be more than glasses. I feel all these medical issues are getting a little ridiculous. Perhaps that is why she has suggested palliative care two years ago.  I'm waiting for a call back probably to see her first.  

I had a wonderful visit with my friend Janet. I told her I want to give a short speech at Helping One Woman (HOW) on what I have learned going through all this.  I like to bounce ideas off of Janet because she makes me think more.  My head is working on it, but she thought I needed to write some thoughts down because something very special might flit in and just as easily flit out. So true. I forget much when it isn't written down.  She also gave me a hook to hold my keys in my purse and a lighted pill holder. How ingenious!

My granddaughter Kayla and I went to lunch yesterday.  She wanted Mexican food, so we went to Mexicali's again (for me).  I could be in a rut here, because there are hundreds of Mexican restaurants, many of them excellent. When my brother Ben visits, he can't get enough Mexican food and he'd be willing to go for breakfast, lunch and dinner in Mexican restaurants. Connecticut has few Mexican restaurants and they don't taste like here.  We had a wonderful talk about books and reading. She wants to read the book before seeing the movie. She enjoys reading dystopias (some horrible event happens and how people try to deal with this new society.  I enjoyed our talk. It was very interesting.  I enjoyed Kayla very much.  I actually think this is the most conversation we have had at one time.  I told her that I hoped she and her friend would join me in June when I go to Martha's friends and family reunion.  She does want to go.  I hope I have no big issues going on then like last year (I broke my wrist and was in the hospital).

Today, my friend Barbara and I are going to a matinee performance of the Bakersfield Community Concert Association with Mark209 performing. They are influenced by country western music and sing hymns. They are from Nashville and do four-part harmony. There are lots of good reviews. We will also get dinner after the event.  We haven't decided where, but I want something different from Mexicali's.

So I have had plumbing issues that just continue to get worse. So I broke down and called someone to deal with this. I used Gundlach's Plumbing which said they could come out that day. Wonderful!  I really didn't expect that. I turned off the water to one toilet,  but I didn't clear out the cupboard under the sink to replace  the kitchen faucet which is also leaking.  There is always something to repair.  So he took all the stuff out and he put it all back. That was nice. The fill valve was broken and had to be replaced. Okay, it was not cheap. Each thing to repair has a flat rate charge, but it is all done and was done well. I wouldn't suggest buying a faucet at Lowe's or Home Depot unless you use their list of contractors or you are POSITIVE you can do the work yourself.  I certainly can't spend like this too often.  I did sign up for their Comfort Club which is $20 a month and they will come out twice a year to service the air conditioner, the heater and the water heater.  No other charges for this but all other charges will be reduced 15%.  

A 21st Century Faucet in a Circa 1950's Kitchen

My friend Janet gets the magazine Bakersfield Life.  In this month's edition there is a short article with mostly pictures entitled Deck The Zoo which is the California Living Museum's fundraiser Holiday Lights Extravaganza. Well Janet and I were there last year when this photographer went around taking pictures. He approached us to get our names and take our picture.  This is not the one, but another one.  We are a part of the scene in this one. I like it. So if you ever see the magazine, it is the smaller far right picture on page 139. Wonderful event by the way. It is beautiful and periodically the lights go to the music. It's very magical. Kids love it, but so do adults.

This is a a Picture of a Picture at CALM from Bakersfield Life, December 2014.
I'm on the right and Janet is on the left.
Much better picture if you can get the magazine
But, it is a wonderful shot of the lights you would see.

Here are the latest pictures of my great-grandson Conner. He has gotten his first tooth.  

There was this very cute picture of a little girl who looks like a future Red Hatter.  I saw it on Facebook.  The sentiment is right too!

So I hope you have a great week.  I'm going to be busy as usual.  I probably will have to take a break from my daily activities for the next big week, but I love it all and feel so fortunate I can still do these things.  See you next Sunday.                  Rachel