So I have gotten some negative responses for writing a blog. Some have felt it was like hanging out your dirty laundry. Some people feel that talking about death and dying is something that leads to dying, like I am making it happen. There are many other reasons given of why it is a bad idea.
Let me tell you why I think it is a good idea. This has allowed me to sort through my feelings about all these problems I have gone through. I have worked on my anxiety about dying. What does this do? It allows me to live my life as fully as I can now. I took care of financial, legal and medical forms so it is behind me. Then it has allowed me to talk with family and friends, because I need people to talk to. Many of them have questions about where I'm at to satisfy curiosity and concerns they have. It has also helped me with grieving over all those people I love who've died.
When we are young, we have our parents to help us with concerns and questions about what we have to learn to grow. We have people who have gone through things we haven't gotten through yet. They give us guidance. Well, the same thing happens later in life. We have experiences but probably don't have many who have gone before us who are able or willing to share. I'm willing to share. This is what we are all going to go through, but our American culture seems to hide death and dying. Once upon a time extended families lived in the same home and death was seen as a part of life. We were around it. We talked about it. We supported each other.
When my friend Janet and I went to dinner this last week (this time at Macaroni Grill), I was sharing with her some of these thoughts, what I want to bring up at the Helping One Woman dinner this Tuesday. I was sharing how I have been feeling better. She didn't like that word because it makes it seem that I was doing badly in the beginning instead of experiencing normal grieving. Her husband died, so she can relate to my feelings. She didn't like the comparison of good and bad. I didn't see it quite the same way. I feel calmer and I can talk about it now. Then I was in pain, both mentally and physically when I lost Paul. I'm not devastated thinking about him now, though I do miss him. It is a process. There is no way to speed this up and to avoid those feelings does not make it go away. By the way, I can still get choked up at times talking about these people I have lost, but really, I am doing so much better. I don't want to be wiped out all the time. So I look at it as growing, working out my feelings.
............................
The concert last Sunday for the Bakersfield Community Concert Association was changed. The group that was to come disbanded. The group that played, George Kahn Jazz and Blues Revue, was a terrific group! Perhaps the other group would have been wonderful, but this was no loss. It included three women jazz vocalists. They sang Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holliday, Etta Jones and The Andrew Sisters. The band itself was real quality. I used to play bass in a dance band in high school and college until I changed my major to Social Work. It brought back wonderful memories of when I played. What a different like I had!
I got a call back from Kaiser Foundation informing me they resolved the billing issue. I'm sure glad about that. It is really hard when you are dealing with health issues to also deal with financial issues. I think it would be good if there were people who could help us in dealing with this. Though I handled this okay, in the past I have fallen apart crying and feeling so overwhelmed I didn't feel I had a clue as to what to do.
My granddaughter Kayla wanted her hair color touched up which was near The Westchester Bowling Alley. They make the best fish and chips in town. So we enjoyed talking. She was going to the prom with a girlfriend this weekend.
I finished the first book of The Maze Runner. My granddaughter Kayla hasn't started yet. I want to read these books so we can talk about them. She had brought up the last time we went out after she saw Mockingjay that she heard this was going to happen to us. We discussed how stories are written in different ways to describe relationships in different ways. I was talking to my friend Barbara about it then. This is an allegory. The problem was how to explain this to her. Anyway, I would rather be around to talk about what she reads and sees so we can talk about it, than say no (not that it is my place to say yes or now). Saying no does not stop people from what they are going to do and great talks can be had if we are more open. I have friends who think this is a terrible movie to let kids see. I'm just going to be there to discuss these movies and books.
My grandson Billy and his wife Meagan invited me to lunch along with her mother Dainette and two of their children Conner and Coco. It was so nice to see them that we will attempt to get together once a month. Billy and Meagan paid. I really appreciated that.
Barbara and I found another Indian restaurant on the west side of town called Kaika on Ming Avenue. Very good! The food was outstanding. They had a huge variety and we went with the vegetarian. The ambiance was very pleasant. Lovely setting and the music was perfect. I know we will go back.
Great video! What are your priorities?
Daisy found a way to trap The Cat's Meow. But she figured out after a bit she could chase it if she got off it.
I love my kitties. Daisy likes to drape herself on me. Pepper is the poser.
 |
| Daisy loves to drape herself over me! |
 |
| Pepper will pose until I pet her! |
Conner continues to grow. He is a big kid for his age.
 |
| Conner has very long legs! |
I will speak at the Helping One Woman's dinner. I'm honored to be selected and will keep it to five minutes. I've learned a lot through this journey and I know many people who come to the dinner have the same or similar experiences. I just want to give voice to it.
My art class with Carol Bradshaw starts up again. She has been off several weeks recovering from surgery. I haven't been working on my art, so her coming back will get me in the groove. I'll share what I work on. We are doing watercolor now.
So that is it for the week. Next week is very full! See you next Sunday! Rachel
No comments:
Post a Comment