The Amateur's Guide to Death and Dying

I watched a live discussion on Google+ about Richard Wagner's book The Amateur's Guide to Death and Dying (http://theamateursguide.com).   It was well done.   It was on a site called The Death Chicks. They are also opening up the subjects of death, dying, grief and bereavement. The two women who were hosting this were Patty Burgess Brecht and Myste Lyn.  These would be worth checking out. Dr. Wagner, Ph.D. wrote another book for children titled Longfellow and the Deep Hidden Woods which covers the topics of death and bereavement.   Dr. Wagner talked about the initial anxiety we feel when faced with issues of death and dying.   He then (like me) jumped in rather than run away from from these topics.  This was when I worked with people who were dying in a hospital and later when I worked in hospice as a social worker.  I had to really think what was my anxiety about.  Initially, I just got myself to sit with someone who was dying. I noted that people seemed to appreciate that.  I let them guide our talk. I read Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's book On Death and Dying.  I remember people being upset if the one who was dying did not die in the order proscribed, or if they left out a step. I thought this was presumptuous that we would know better.  I couldn't imagine telling someone how they had to die, to do it right. Given that,  I did learn so much from people who let me be there with them. I think the biggest thing we had to offer was to allow people to do it their own way and to give some of them permission to leave us.  I believe our presence is what can be helpful for the person who was dying  and for those close to the person dying.  if they wanted you and/or they developed a relationship with them.    One of the other points that was brought up was that we experience all sorts of losses as we age- our body changes, we develop aches and pains, we can't do all the things we used to....  There are really many, so if we allow ourselves to deal with the earlier losses, it will help us to experience in a meaningful way, the loss of our lives. I want my friends and family to understand this especially as it pertains to me.  I ordered the amateur's guide for my Kindle and the children's book from Amazon.com.  I hope to discuss this and hope they will order their own copy.

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In my art class we are drawing a short-haired dog.  I'm doing my friend Barbara's dog, Patti who died. She was a pug/miniature English bulldog mix.  I took a poor picture of her and tried to lighten and reprint it, but I lost the ability to connect my pictures from my iPhone and iPad to my main Apple computer.  Darn!  I'll continue to search for this ability.  It is a very helpful application.   One of my issues is I can't see the fourth leg. My teacher Carol told me it would be better to have the fourth leg, even if it was only to show the toes, etc.  so when I put the legs together, it looks unnatural like she is doing a pirouette.  So I drew her on tracing paper and drew several legs to see which one I preferred.  Tomorrow I will get the contour drawing done for Tuesday's class with Carol. Then we will work on details, such as the nose, eyes, mouth and fur.   There is another student in my class; her name is Ronna. She wants to draw cats and dogs. She started classes a year ago and doing very well.    I got carried away putting in some detail on my Dog with Seven Legs.  It is on tracing paper.  The leg I settled on is the fifth leg from the right side.  There is a very lightly drawn foot right next to it, but I've settled for the darker one.  

Dog with Seven Legs

While visiting my step-mom Kate, we went to a local bookstore Vroman's in Pasadena where I purchased some books that I wanted for reference in using my Apple products. I read the pertinent parts for sharing photos,  iCloud, Airdrop, wireless printing and keychain.  I watch young people do this with no problem at all; while I need to do each step deliberately.  I do best with a simple visual guide along with the explanation.  I had lost ability to transfer pictures I took on my iPhone to my MAC.  That issue is resolved now.

We also went to the Norton Simon Museum for a guitar concert on Friday, but we had the wrong day. It was no problem, since it is a lovely art museum. We focused on 19th century art. 

We then went to a tasty Afghan restaurant called Azeen's Afghani Restaurant. I love the use of yoghurt in the sauce. So delicious!

On Saturday we ate at a small restaurant that is informal called Sweet and Savory in San Marino.  I had been there perhaps two or three years ago with my brother Ben accompanying us.  I remember feeling that the chicken salad was very special, so I ordered it again, though there was a chicken curry that she let us have a sample which was very tasty.  I told her I remembered the last time we were there and that I asked her about "what is that taste" and she had said then, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you".  In the end, she fessed up that it was the mustard she used, but she would not give me any further information on it.   It looked like a seeded mustard, Then I had a fruit tart and Kate had a bread pudding.  We shared this.  Very tasty.

So Saturday we went to a concert of two classical Guitarists doing Italian pieces played by the Odeum Guitar Duo doing A Tour of Italy. Fred Benedetti and Robert Wetzel were the performers and they have CD's of their music.  I imagined walking around a formal garden with my glass of red wine while listening to this music.  It was very appealing to me.  Since we had the wrong date for this, we had tickets to see a play called  called A Flea in Her Ear at A Noise Within Theatre Company in Pasadena Saturday night too!  We ended up with seats in the center of the second row for the guitar concert.  Can't beat that.  The play was a farce premiered in 1907.    It was opening night for the play in Pasadena and they had a full house.  From the responses in the audience, it was well received. It was written by Georges Feydeau  Lots of fun.

On Sunday, we had breakfast at Green Street in Pasadena.  Delicious!   That is a very pleasant coffee shop.

So we did have one incident on Sunday.  Kate goes out for a seven mile walk every morning.  For some reason (I think it may have been the heat, though it wasn't that bad), I woke up before Kate came home.  I decided to get everything ready to go home and took a load out to my car.  Well it set off her house alarm.  Her four cats went nuts with me.  I didn't know what to do and when they called they said they were contacting the authorities to come out.  In a short time period, Officer Leach came out (wearing bermuda shorts ).  I didn't have any information to give him which would show I had a right to be there.  I offered him a cup of strong coffee and he said he just ate.  He actually was nice and hung around outside for a while before driving off.  He saw Kate as she was coming around the bend of her street.  So that was the excitement of the day.  I now have the information I need to give my bonafide so I don't get the evil eye next time.

It was a pretty exciting week and I'm ready for a little rest.  To bed early this evening.  Thank you for reading and I will see you next Sunday.                    Rachel