I'm Okay. It isn't My Time to Go Yet.

On my last post I wrote that I had something on one of my ribs.  I had a CAT scan and took my friend Janet when I saw Dr. Tun in case it was bad news. I think I shut down and don't remember very much when I'm given bad news. It wasn't cancer.  Phew!   It could be calcium build up.    To me, it still seems to be growing.  We're not sure what it is.  There was a spot that was deep. It is too small to do anything about that, so I will have a CAT scan every few months to monitor if there are changes. Anyway, I am relieved I don't have to deal with it now.

I visited my friends Mike and Marykay in Livermore. They have been through a lot with Mike having a stroke and their oldest daughter Libby had a girl while this was going on.  Mike was home. He had been in an acute care hospital and then a Rehabilitation hospital for a month. 

Michael had gotten out of the hospital over a week before.  He is very clear, but weak because he had  been primarily in bed.  His speech is affected by not having moisture in his mouth since he cannot eat or drink. However,  his wife Marykay made a mouth spray that Mike used to wet his mouth.  He also had a sponge on a stick to wipe his mouth. These help.  While I was there, Mike had speech therapy, physical therapy and occupational therapy. The cover to the lungs is always open, so he is endangered by anything going down that side when  he eats.   It is possible there is a surgery he might try, but he needs to go to a major hospital like Stanford to find out and get physically stronger. 

I worked on my art and Marykay took the role of Carol, my teacher.  I was so fortunate to have her help. That was a good experience. 

Libby, Marykay's daughter getting lunch for Ar

Marykay feeding Esha Katherine,

Marykay burping Esha.

Mike with his grandson Ari
He surrounded Mike with all his toys! So cute!

Marykay and Mike were going to a meeting one night. I sent a message to my sister to see if she could get together with me.   She was able to.  Marykay, Mike and I were watching the news seeing flooding all around the area and I worried that my sister would be in jeopardy.  I suggested it would be too dangerous for her to come, but she insisted we take the opportunity to see each other.  So we did.  We went to a restaurant for dessert. We had a wonderful talk. She thought I said my cancer was back when I thought I had put a qualifier on it saying "I think 

my cancer is back."  She did note that I have always found my cancers before the doctors did but hoped I was wrong this time.  I hoped I was wrong too!   And I was!   

I got an invitation online to join Omada through Kaiser to learn how to eat better, exercise and get adequate sleep.  This was because I was pre-diabetic.  They sent a scale that gives them my weight directly, but I can see too.  We are in a group online to encourage each other, we have a log to keep track of what we take in and what activity we do. Sunday March 5 it started. There is no cost to us. It is an active 16 week program. This program urged a healthy plate which would be 3 to 6 ounces of protein, depending what it is, one to three cups of vegetables, and healthy fat like avocado or olive oil. So i I would save grains, pasta or potato for a special meal.  It adds a task to change every week.  I lost 12 pounds in 8 weeks and they suggested I put another goal on, so I put down to lose 10 pounds in 16 weeks.

And, as I was going through papers to keep or throw away, I found a brochure from Kaiser for a program called Silver & Fit.  It is like Silver Sneakers.  I picked In-Shape where I will work out.  I had used them years ago.  There is no cost to me.  So I think I'll look different in 4 months.  I'm excited.  It is the same as Silver Sneakers. 

I also agreed to a half hour,  two times a month for nine months to have a trainer make sure I'm using the equipment correctly.  It is worth the cost to me. David is 21 years old, but he does understand how the machinery is to be used.

Then I got a call from Kaiser they would have conferences on healthy living and asked if I would attend something like this. I said yes and they will let me know when these start. By the way, I'm so impressed that Kaiser does this!  This is so positive!  I'm so glad I have Kaiser Permanente. So this conference is on line too.  It is based on having multiple chronic health issues.  I had been to the dentist and there was a new one there who told me to call her Dr. T.  I asked where the other ones were.  The one I like is still there but wasn't there at that time.  Anyway, she gave me this story that I had osteoporosis in my jaw and cavities where going down to the roots and that I would need at least 10 teeth worked on.  I was horrified because I had been going here for about 9 years and at least every 6 months.  How could everything just fall apart at one time?!  I asked my Facebook friends for advice and everyone felt a second opinion was needed here.  Those who have had great experiences with their dentists shared that information and their names.  I also called the dental insurance to find out about second opinions (they do cover) and how they pay.  I will follow through on this, but I have a lot going on in the near future, so I'm going to wait on it.

Shelley's boyfriend Don made a gourmet meal for me a week after I got back from my visit to MaryKay and Mike. He is a chef by training. Shelley helped him as they went to several stores and a farmer's market for the freshest ingredients. I had shown him my raised vegetable garden and a recipe from Blue Apron.  He said the key is the freshest ingredients. He's right!  And I think a great chef helps!  

Shelley and her boyfriend Don, a fabulous chef!

Shelley and me at Don's home

Cheese and Crackers

Sword Fish and Corn Reliish

Appetizer - Prosciutto and goat cheese

Sauteed Scallops 

Though, I really like my Blue Apron and even if I don't get it right all the time, it is still delicious!  However, I had to cancel it because Omada wants us to make meals that do not include starches.  I can tell you I found it painful to drop Blue Apron!  Very tasty meals!  Maybe what I have learned from Blue Apron will help me with my Omada meals. I was wanting to make a meal with Blue Apron when Evelyn comes for dinner, but I'm not going to be able to do that.  We had it planned for the end of the month but we need to reschedule it.  I'm not the only one with a busy schedule!

I went to see my friend Barbara who lives with in Seal Beach. Her caregiver needed to leave for a few days to take care of personal business so I agreed to stay with her during this time. She has dementia. I took my art to do there.

Her caregiver left notes about when to feed her dog and cat. Barbara took responsibility to do this. This was difficult because she wouldn't remember if she fed them or not, did she walk the dog or not. I wish I had been on top of this from the beginning because, I would have made a check list that needed to be marked off to show it was done. I would mark it because she wouldn't remember if she did or did not do something. So really, I have no idea if we overfed the animals or underfed. I do think the dog got lots  of walking. 

On the first day I was there, she thought she misplaced her car keys and her cell phone. It might have been lost before that day or on that day. I couldn't tell.  I think I'll get her a tag for these items so we can look up where it is.

Barbara had told me each time I visited about this soup kitchen on skid row in Downtown Los Angeles where she volunteered. The people who started it set up this outdoor garden with picnic tables, a fountain and many plants. I told Barbara we would go there.  She was excited. Though Barbara called to say we were coming, they had very little for us to do.  They had many volunteers on a Saturday. They probably need more volunteers on the two weekdays they have food, Tuesday and Thursday. It is run by the Catholic Workers of Los Angeles. There were two women from Upland who volunteered because one of them wanted this for her birthday.  There were also people who initially did this as their volunteer experience through high school and continued after high school.  There were also people from other countries who did this when they came to the United States. We wiped down tables and picked up trash, though most people eating there took care of their own trash. 

There were some people who were mentally ill who made loud outburst. People would go to them to calm them down. I saw lots of tents on the sidewalks clumped in areas.  It was a different experience, but I never felt threatened here.

Many homeless on skid row in Los Angeles had tents.  There were
streets all around this soup kitchen where people lived.

This soup kitchen was unique.  It was in a garden- trees, bushes, flowers
birds, water feature which added to the ambiance of this
setting.

Barbara and I went out to lunch one day on Main Street in Seal Beach. That was a nice experience. 

We also went to the Art Supply Warehouse  in Westminster. I needed a couple of items so I had an excuse to go. And for Barb, we got an adult coloring book, colored pencils and a pencil sharpener so she could try that out. I showed her my art books that I used at home.  I'm going to think about getting her one she could use as a guide.  She was excited about trying this.  I'll be seeing her shortly, so I am taking supplies to her.

Here are a few pictures I worked on:

Weathered painted wood

Parrot

Rooster

Gorilla

Our last Red Hat dinner was at  KC's Steakhouse.  We did not have a good experience there the time before, but they made up for it this time.

My daughter Shelley

Shelley and Judie

Marti and Claudia

Judie and Vicki

Pamela and Marti

Pamela and Stephanie

Me

Me, Claudia and Ethel

Claudia and Judie

Judie

I ended up getting a bug at Easter and did not get together with my kids.  I slept a lot and ate very little.  However, they did have a good time, and I'm glad for that.

I got together with my Stepmom Kate, the weekend before her birthday.  We want to the Huntington Garden and Museum and ate lunch there.  They have a cafeteria similar to what they have at the Getty Museum.  Lots of choices and I was able to eat according to my diet.  We also went to A Noise Within, a classical theatre in Pasadena.  We say King Lear.  Both Kate and I had difficulty hearing it all.  Most people were obviously responding to the dialogue, so I think it was us.  I read the play years ago, but I need to re-read it.  They tied the story into the problem of dementia.  I have people close to me dealing with this, so I'd like to get this a little better.  Before I left for home, we went to Green Street Restaurant.  It is like a very nice coffee shop.  We had breakfast before ending our visit.  Here is a selfie I took of Kate and me while we were at the Huntington Garden and Museum.

Kate and Me
I look like I have a swollen jaw, I don't.  I think it
is the angle I took this picture

I saw an article about three things you learn when your mother dies on Upworthy:

Three things you learn when your mother dies

This is a very good article about letting others know on sites such as Facebook about someone else's death. I couldn't state it better than this article. 

When not to share early on social networks.

There is a point where treatment really no longer makes sense!  Here is an article about that. 

When Treatment No Longer Makes Sense

That is what I have. It has been busy!  I hope you are doing well. I'll see you next month.     Rachel

A Weekend in Pasadena

I love this saying on the front of the Los Angeles Public Library directory:

"Think of the library as a convenience store for knowledge"

I would love to see more people excited about books and libraries. I can't express quite how much books have meant in my life. I love a variety of books, but if people would look at what they are interested in, I think they could fall in love with them. I worked in a prison for several years. There were people who went to prison never having been readers. But, prison is quite boring. Because of this I did meet inmates who became readers. I would say they could transport themselves somewhere quite different than the prison. Some men tried this out and did find that to be the case. 

So, in Kern County where I live, we have a proposition, Measure F on the ballot to add a 1/8 of one penny to the sales tax dedicated to the libraries in Kern County. There is only so much you can do without an adequate budget and I hope this will pass. As I shared in last weeks blog going to the Los Angeles Central Library made me so excited. We don't have the money to do what they do, but we can do so much more. 

We are the least funded library system for its size in California. Fresno County took the the same step in 1998.  They have extended the funding because of the wonderful difference it has made for their county. Bakersfield is the worse ranked city in California in literacy and we are third from the worst in the United States.  Why would we want to be a part of these statistics?  The solution asks so little of us and will have such an impact on our population. With more knowledge, people will be more employable.  Their health will improve as they understand what they need to do to be healthier. I think there will be positive affects in areas we aren't even thinking about. There was a nice article in our local paper, The Californian.

http://bakersfield.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=5d56f0d3ba4b901846a167399&id=c926839462&e=a426936ed6

So I redid the waterfall, but I'm still not pleased.  I also made more definition with the river running over the rocks.  And, I attempted to make the picture of a pile of rocks I did stand out better.

The Kern River flowing over Rocks

Three Level Waterfall, with Branches at Top,
with Caves behind the Waterfall. 

Pile of Rocks

My friend Marykay, who is an artist has put the three pictures I gave her on her walls. It is an honor to me!  Here they are. 

I did a modern design of clouds, with the sun
setting over the beach in Pastels
The first picture I gave to Marykay.  I
really do love it!

My Deer and Lion

My Artist friend Marykay made a corner for them

Yesterday was the ninth anniversary of my husband Paul's death. I have spent this weekend with my step-mom Kate which was very good and lessened the pain I feel when it is around this date.  Kate's birthday was April 25. 

My daughter Jennifer posted a picture of her, her sister Shelley with their father which I took of them. I know they are appreciative of the pictures I took. I know I annoyed them having the camera in their faces. But now they really mean a lot to them.   I love looking at pictures of my husband Paul!

Jennifer, their dad, Paul and Shelley several years ago.

I was with my step-mom Kate, this weekend. We  saw Eye in the Sky at the ArcLight Cinema on Friday night. Interesting and suspenseful, but not a family or feel good movie.  Saturday was the ninth anniversary of Paul's death. I think because we had a lot going on, I did okay.  On Saturday night, we saw the play, You Never Can Tell by George Bernard Shaw at the theatre A Noise Within which is in Pasadena.  It was too loud for Kate and me, especially two people who played immature twins, but I saw it as an experience.  I really do like experiences as they open me to see things in a different light. We also went to a lovely French restaurant  called Cafe Bizou in Pasadena where we each ordered a prix fixe lunch for an incredibly reasonable price, with the base price of $17 with some variation depending on the choices. I had the house Cabernet and it was delicious.  And to top it off, our waiter had a French accent!   The ambiance was so nice!  It was all very special and I want to go back there.  

Kate and I at Green Street for breakfast this morning
before I headed home.

This is a review by Brain Pickings on a woman's experience with using music to help her grieve: 

ainpickings.org/2016/04/14/wendy-lesser-room-for-doubt-music-grief/?mc_cid=9b04fc8c3f&mc_eid=6c84d8101c

That is it for my week.  It was good.  I really have nothing to complain about.  I hope your week went well and I will see you next Sunday.                                      Rachel

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The Amateur's Guide to Death and Dying

I watched a live discussion on Google+ about Richard Wagner's book The Amateur's Guide to Death and Dying (http://theamateursguide.com).   It was well done.   It was on a site called The Death Chicks. They are also opening up the subjects of death, dying, grief and bereavement. The two women who were hosting this were Patty Burgess Brecht and Myste Lyn.  These would be worth checking out. Dr. Wagner, Ph.D. wrote another book for children titled Longfellow and the Deep Hidden Woods which covers the topics of death and bereavement.   Dr. Wagner talked about the initial anxiety we feel when faced with issues of death and dying.   He then (like me) jumped in rather than run away from from these topics.  This was when I worked with people who were dying in a hospital and later when I worked in hospice as a social worker.  I had to really think what was my anxiety about.  Initially, I just got myself to sit with someone who was dying. I noted that people seemed to appreciate that.  I let them guide our talk. I read Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's book On Death and Dying.  I remember people being upset if the one who was dying did not die in the order proscribed, or if they left out a step. I thought this was presumptuous that we would know better.  I couldn't imagine telling someone how they had to die, to do it right. Given that,  I did learn so much from people who let me be there with them. I think the biggest thing we had to offer was to allow people to do it their own way and to give some of them permission to leave us.  I believe our presence is what can be helpful for the person who was dying  and for those close to the person dying.  if they wanted you and/or they developed a relationship with them.    One of the other points that was brought up was that we experience all sorts of losses as we age- our body changes, we develop aches and pains, we can't do all the things we used to....  There are really many, so if we allow ourselves to deal with the earlier losses, it will help us to experience in a meaningful way, the loss of our lives. I want my friends and family to understand this especially as it pertains to me.  I ordered the amateur's guide for my Kindle and the children's book from Amazon.com.  I hope to discuss this and hope they will order their own copy.

.....................

In my art class we are drawing a short-haired dog.  I'm doing my friend Barbara's dog, Patti who died. She was a pug/miniature English bulldog mix.  I took a poor picture of her and tried to lighten and reprint it, but I lost the ability to connect my pictures from my iPhone and iPad to my main Apple computer.  Darn!  I'll continue to search for this ability.  It is a very helpful application.   One of my issues is I can't see the fourth leg. My teacher Carol told me it would be better to have the fourth leg, even if it was only to show the toes, etc.  so when I put the legs together, it looks unnatural like she is doing a pirouette.  So I drew her on tracing paper and drew several legs to see which one I preferred.  Tomorrow I will get the contour drawing done for Tuesday's class with Carol. Then we will work on details, such as the nose, eyes, mouth and fur.   There is another student in my class; her name is Ronna. She wants to draw cats and dogs. She started classes a year ago and doing very well.    I got carried away putting in some detail on my Dog with Seven Legs.  It is on tracing paper.  The leg I settled on is the fifth leg from the right side.  There is a very lightly drawn foot right next to it, but I've settled for the darker one.  

Dog with Seven Legs

While visiting my step-mom Kate, we went to a local bookstore Vroman's in Pasadena where I purchased some books that I wanted for reference in using my Apple products. I read the pertinent parts for sharing photos,  iCloud, Airdrop, wireless printing and keychain.  I watch young people do this with no problem at all; while I need to do each step deliberately.  I do best with a simple visual guide along with the explanation.  I had lost ability to transfer pictures I took on my iPhone to my MAC.  That issue is resolved now.

We also went to the Norton Simon Museum for a guitar concert on Friday, but we had the wrong day. It was no problem, since it is a lovely art museum. We focused on 19th century art. 

We then went to a tasty Afghan restaurant called Azeen's Afghani Restaurant. I love the use of yoghurt in the sauce. So delicious!

On Saturday we ate at a small restaurant that is informal called Sweet and Savory in San Marino.  I had been there perhaps two or three years ago with my brother Ben accompanying us.  I remember feeling that the chicken salad was very special, so I ordered it again, though there was a chicken curry that she let us have a sample which was very tasty.  I told her I remembered the last time we were there and that I asked her about "what is that taste" and she had said then, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you".  In the end, she fessed up that it was the mustard she used, but she would not give me any further information on it.   It looked like a seeded mustard, Then I had a fruit tart and Kate had a bread pudding.  We shared this.  Very tasty.

So Saturday we went to a concert of two classical Guitarists doing Italian pieces played by the Odeum Guitar Duo doing A Tour of Italy. Fred Benedetti and Robert Wetzel were the performers and they have CD's of their music.  I imagined walking around a formal garden with my glass of red wine while listening to this music.  It was very appealing to me.  Since we had the wrong date for this, we had tickets to see a play called  called A Flea in Her Ear at A Noise Within Theatre Company in Pasadena Saturday night too!  We ended up with seats in the center of the second row for the guitar concert.  Can't beat that.  The play was a farce premiered in 1907.    It was opening night for the play in Pasadena and they had a full house.  From the responses in the audience, it was well received. It was written by Georges Feydeau  Lots of fun.

On Sunday, we had breakfast at Green Street in Pasadena.  Delicious!   That is a very pleasant coffee shop.

So we did have one incident on Sunday.  Kate goes out for a seven mile walk every morning.  For some reason (I think it may have been the heat, though it wasn't that bad), I woke up before Kate came home.  I decided to get everything ready to go home and took a load out to my car.  Well it set off her house alarm.  Her four cats went nuts with me.  I didn't know what to do and when they called they said they were contacting the authorities to come out.  In a short time period, Officer Leach came out (wearing bermuda shorts ).  I didn't have any information to give him which would show I had a right to be there.  I offered him a cup of strong coffee and he said he just ate.  He actually was nice and hung around outside for a while before driving off.  He saw Kate as she was coming around the bend of her street.  So that was the excitement of the day.  I now have the information I need to give my bonafide so I don't get the evil eye next time.

It was a pretty exciting week and I'm ready for a little rest.  To bed early this evening.  Thank you for reading and I will see you next Sunday.                    Rachel