Is It Back?

I took a flight out of LAX to see friends in Oregon.   So I stayed with my high school friend Barbara who lives about a half hour from the airport. I had left my coat there on my last visit, so I was able to collect it while there. Though my visit was short, I'll be visiting her soon and we paid to go to our class reunion in October.   I'm thinking positively.

I got a chance to visit my friends Susan and Jennifer in Portland, Oregon.  I haven't seen them in 2 1/2 years.  It was so great to see them again!  They have such a nice home that is perfect for two people.  I gave them a picture I had done of two pears which Jennifer found a place on their living room wall.  It looked great where they put it. 

Susan and Jennifer on their
back patio

My Colored Pencil Painting of
Two Pears
Jennifer found a place on the wall

Jennifer had to work most of the time, but I saw her when we were at the house. She was on call, responding to calls at home.  Jennifer and Susan work in Hospice.  Susan took me out exploring. I loved it!  This town is a perfect fit for them.  We went to this bookstore, Powell's, the largest independent and used bookstore in the world.  It was one city block and four stories tall. I got lost on the first floor and asked a clerk how to get where I wanted. One of the books I bought was The Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery.  What a great story.  This woman and others at an Aquarium develop relationships with octopuses in this setting. They actually like each other!  Such a different species it is hard to imagine, but they do.  It is a true story that is touching.  Now I can't eat octopus! 

We also went to this city block where the outside by the sidewalk was all food trucks (nothing I could see inside the block).  They had variety of foods and you could see the most popular by the lines.

Food Trucks Around a City Block

I liked this sign in a business's window

Mount Hood was completely covered with snow. It was overcast and cold while I was there but it made everything stand out and was a nice backdrop for the mountain. I was bundled well, so I was very comfortable.  I didn't get a picture!

We also went to what had been an elementary school, Kennedy School which was bought by McMenamins, they repurposed it into a hotel, bars, restaurants, movie theater (with couches and love seats!), and specialty stores. We stopped at a pub there having beer and tater tots (like we eat fries!). Though my friends think McMenamins fails at food, the settings are very creative!  They have many other buildings they have repurposed and done well with that part, but like I said, not the food. 

It was quite chilly in Portland, but I was warm
with what I wore
There were snow piles that still had not
melted

We are looking down on the bar, but there is seating
up here and a level below.  Very interesting fence to
keep people from falling made out of odds and ends
I enlarged it so you can see the details.

Susan in this neat bar - Instead of French Fries
They Do Tater Tots

We also went to a couple of stores selling used furniture, one in the industrial area by the water.  Fascinating!  We also shopped for organic food in a small independent store.  Very different from what I'm used to which made it that much more fun!

Susan is a top notch chef.  We had some meals at home that were worthy of high-end restaurants.  We also ate out at great places. I had such a wonderful time, I am hoping to return!

My trip was great. There were protesters at the airports in Portland and in LAX heading home. There were no problems.  There was singing and chanting about cutting off Muslim immigrants coming to the United States. Many of us live and work next to people who are Muslim and don't see them as a problem in our country. Perhaps if he had selected countries where terrorists from 9/11 did come from, it might make more sense, though all the Muslims I have met are peaceful. I'm not willing to write off these people.  We seem barbaric doing this and intolerant when it is the variety of people here which I believe makes us, the United States special.  I heard something on TV the other night where someone being interviewed called the president  President Von Munchhausen.   I thought it was funny for those who work in mental health. 

When I returned to LAX, I drove to my step-mom Kate's home so I wouldn't have to drive as far at night.  Actually, I haven't driven at night for a long time and I did fine. That was really a relief!

I have had an area on top of an upper rib that seems off.  I had been thinking it was the space/dent by it, that it was sinking.   Then a week ago, I woke up feeling it was tender.  I was more aware of that area.  When I went to chemotherapy,  I showed two RN's who said my Oncologist should see it. He came in at the end of my treatment and asked me how long I have known about it.  I said two months, but I thought it was a dent that was the issue. Then the past week I noticed it was on top of a rib. So I had a CAT scan checking all areas breast cancer can metastasize to.   I am going to see friends up north, Marykay and Mike.  I don't want to know bad news when I see them.  I would love good news, but there is no assurance of this.   

I love to do word and number problems.  What I'm noticing is that I am rarely getting the Evil level now and not getting the Hard very much.  I am down to Difficult.  I have been in a state of not wanting to get up and out, but I think this part is related to my mood. I think I was feeling down about all this. I haven't been working on my art. Then I thought about all the tasks I needed to accomplish, like changes in my checking account and doing my taxes.  So I got on a roll taking care of this and I felt more energetic and got lots of it accomplished.  Then I realized that what keeps me upbeat is being involved, being active.   When I'm really at the end, I think I'll be okay with it.  Watching my father and husband, when they were letting go, they were obviously ready for it to be over.  Seeing this, I believe I will be similar. 

I missed some art classes, partly because of what I was doing and other reasons why class was canceled.  I couldn't get myself motivated to work on my art. I called my teacher Carol letting her know what I was going through, that I had done nothing and thinking I shouldn't go. She said there was no problem if I didn't go, but she thought I'd feel better if I went. She was right.  I'm glad I went.  We are working on rocks again, but using colored pencils. One assignment I did not do was a weathered door. At class, fellow classmate Peggy shared what she did. It was awesome!  Ready to be framed.  So I don't think I'll give up on that.  Her work was stimulating to me, the jump start I needed!  Another classmate Roline took one of my digital pictures of my kitties Pepper and Daisy and did a wonderful portrait of them, though they look younger than they are. I was talking with my friend Janet and she felt that just like people their faces draw down as they get older. Huh!   I hadn't thought of that, but maybe so.  I loved it!  So I bought it and will have it framed.

My Kitties, Pepper and Daisy
Done by Roline Loung
a classmate in my art class

I read articles and books. I want to hear about others experiences with their own death or of someone close to them.  Our reactions are universal in a lot of respects even if we have individual idiosyncrasies. I noted this in hospice when I was a social worker.  Since we don't know about it until our time has come, I want to understand what I can beforehand. Some people think we know from near death experiences, and, maybe we do, I want to know what I can know.  And, I want my family to know this.   It lessens my anxiety and fear and I hope it lessens their anxiety and fear. 

This first one was from NPR and was heard on Fresh Air.

How far do you go to stop death?

This one came from Wimp.com

How I changed after the death of a parent.

And I really like this. I have already made arrangements where my ashes will go (by Paul), but if I hadn't done this, I love this idea!

A great way to replenish Earth with trees.

The grieving need you most after the funeral.  By John Pavlovitz at his site johnpavlovitz.com 

 The grieving need you most after the funeral.

There are physical pain associated with a breakup or loss of someone you love. I felt it intensely and it doesn't feel good. This is very brief pointing out the effects of a breakup or loss of a person you were very close to.   This is from IFLScience.com

We also have physical pain with grieving.

And, finally this from NPR

Always go to the funeral

So next time I write, I'll know the results from the CAT Scan and if something needs to be done, hopefully, I'll be doing it. I also hope I have a picture or two to share.   I do hope you are doing well and I'll be here next month.           Rachel

Such a Variety!

I know I repost things on Facebook because I agree, that it reminds me of me or those around us, it is funny or it is cute. So there was this one of a woman who goes to handle something, gets distracted and keeps moving never getting anything done. 

That is not quite me.  I do get things done, but not necessarily the intended thing or I get a lot more done than the intended task.

For example, one morning this week I knew I needed to pick up a few items for my art class. I thought I'd take my pills with me. I left my water in my bedroom. I go to get that and decide I need to make the bed. I then can't find my cell phone. That whole process leads me to change the batteries in the smoke alarm in the garage because it was beeping.  Now I don't remember where I set down my pills. So I decide to take another load of laundry out to the garage to start. When I bend down to put the laundry in, I see my cell phone on top of the washer. I put it in my pocket. I go to the living room to get my purse and see my pills. I go back to my bedroom to get the water. So during this process, I made the bed, changed the batteries in the smoke alarm, started a load of laundry and moved a load to the dryer in addition to getting all the stuff I thought I needed for my drive across town.   Is that multitasking?  There have been times I have spent all day and into the evening doing this. This last incident was only an hour. 

In my class with Nina Landgraff, she had us do exercises using acrylic paint. We drew a fairly large circle on two pieces of paper for acrylic.  Then we divided the circles into twelve wedges.  Then we did a color wheel but the labels we put on each color was the emotion we sensed with that color. It would not necessarily be something that others would feel. She suggested we keep it up to note how we are feeling or to pick a color to help us out.

The second circle, she asked us to put the colors we were feeling then. She told us not to overthink it, and it was okay to have the same color in different wedges. 

Then we took one of the colors that evoked a negative feeling. We were asked to put the color on the paper, then start mixing colors we liked in with the color we didn't like.  In the process of doing this, it would help in looking at the color in a positive light and then have a positive feeling about the original color. This is what I did.  The blue was somewhat of a negative color to me.

Class with Carol Bradshaw at the Bakersfield Art Center was very good.  We brought in the washes we had done and then we started a picture of mountain ranges using a wash with each one, but making the next one just a little darker. It was a good experience.  She suggested we get stencils to put on our washes. So I now have some I got at Michael's.   She also suggested using a little more pen sporadically on my seaside town and put a flag on the largest boat. She wants me to darken the green on my butterfly picture.  She has talked to us to think of mama, papa, baby for size of areas and for intensity of color.  My yellow and green are similar in intensity, so I need to make a change. It will be done before class, but not this blog.  We also worked on doing several washes of mountain ranges. I still need to put trees in.                                                                                                          

I used a brush for stenciling, but with watercolor- little detail.

I used a watercolor brush and different colors- lots of detail

Chimneys outlined, sporadic use of pen for outlining and flag on one boat

Five layered washes.  In final picture, I won't have pencil in it.
I'll also put in trees                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

The Helping One Dinner was very nice this week. I identify with the woman, Elisa Analla, who was honored this week. Very touching. She got lots of support which I feel will really be helpful to her.  Since the event was on Saint Patrick's Day, they had a traditional meal done by The Marriott of corned beef and cabbage. The Marriott has been doing a lovely job being the venue for Helping One Woman in Visalia.  Martha and I went to The Runway for breakfast.  Quite good and a nice setting!  It's at their local airport.

I sent a message to my endocrinologist about the question of taking calcium and Prilosec. My friend Vicki who brought this up is smart and I didn't take her concern lightly.   She thought that the Prilosec would affect how much calcium my body would absorb.  Well my doctor told me to take calcium citrate instead of calcium carbonate because calcium citrate does not depend on stomach acid to break it down. I always  wondered why there were two types of calcium.  I think there are other calciums too.  Pharmacists have told me it didn't matter which one I took when I asked in the past.   I also found calcium carbonate to be much more common and cheaper than calcium citrate. You really have to check the label. 

Because I have been juicing, it has thrown off the levels of Coumadin in my body. So it has been increased to accommodate my change. I'm glad they are able to adjust the dosage, because I think the increased greens and therefore Vitamin K has gone up. But these greens have multiple benefits and I want to continue it. 

I saw the doctor at the pain clinic. He said in addition to the compression fracture, I have several discs that are slipping. I'm going back on morphine with Percocet and I'm scheduled for two separate injections in my back with cortisone which might lessen the pain.  I will have to do the injections of Lovenox again around this. Ugh!  I never thought I could get used to it, but I think I am.  My friend Janet will be my driver again.   I need to learn that if it happens once, it is possible it will happen again instead of fooling myself that I am over something. Really, I have been learning to think like that, because it is so much less stressful if you have in your head it could happen again. Because when I do it this way (it won't happen again, I'm disappointed that I have to go through it again.  I just cope much better if I leave that option on the table.  I also don't want to take morphine unless I have lots of pain, so I will not use it regularly until I have to. 

Janet and I had lunch at Muertos. Good food!  I had the Ahi tacos. The horseradish sauce was so hot but tasty. I think I'll ask them next time to thin it out some to cut the heat. It was almost hard to breathe. Janet had a very hot burger, but she loves the heat.  I took her over to The Bakersfield Art Center which she really enjoyed.  I love showing this place off to friends. It is so nice. My teacher Carol Bradshaw was there with another student. It turned out Janet had met her when she walked her dog Poopy. Since Poopy died six months ago, she cannot  get herself to do the same walk she used to do. Too painful. 

I went out to lunch with my friends Lisa, Charmaine and Janet at The Pyrenees Cafe in old town Bakersfield. The setup was very good as were the Bloody Marys.  I didn't care for my Ossobuco (tough and made with beef), Lamb Shank (Janet said it was blah) and Fish and Chips (Charmaine thought it was too bready).  Lisa got a tuna salad which she liked. The dining room was remodeled but maintains the feel of the family dining.  I don't know if I'd go back but there were a lot of people there. We made a reservation and I would recommend doing that if you go there. 

I went to the Baby Shower for Meagan who is due in early May. It was good. They held it at a pizza parlor and had extra foods beyond what they provide. Very enjoyable.  This will be my second great-grandson. His name is Kason. 

Barbara and I saw Insurgent. I didn't like it nearly as much as Divergent.  It was more action and much less of a story line.   We then went out for Chinese food at Ching Yen on Columbus Street. The food is fresh and tasty. Since Barbara is vegan, she ordered the food. We each had enough for another meal.   I loved it. I don't know why I don't think of this place when I think Chinese;  it would is worth it. 

Here is an incredibly cute picture of Meagan with Conner sitting on Kason (Meagan is pregnant and due in about six weeks).                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Another full week!  I hope your week went well.  I'll see you next Sunday.           Rachel