Birth and Death, the Cycle of Life

A woman on one of the Google+ communities that I am in, thought it was amazing that I would think I was fortunate now.  This is what she stated:  "Hi Rachel... It is amazing that you consider yourself "fortunate"..But it's certainly a small fortune for anyone reading your take on life and what it brings to us. Thank you!"

This is how I responded:  "Believe me, in the beginning, I did not feel fortunate. I cried a lot, I was frightened and angry. But when you have gone through it for over 15 years, have allowed yourself to think about what you have gone through, what scares you and makes you angry and work through those issues, your perspective changes. My life won't be what it was before, so I needed to make a life for my current circumstances. It is not a bad life.  In fact, there are really good parts which would not have happened had I not gone through this. So, yes, I'm fortunate to have made a life I feel is pretty good. Thank you for your comment." 

I cannot see myself as being special because I am sharing what I have been going through.  It seems the right thing to do and if someone was in my shoes with my life, I think they would think it is what they might do.  It helps me to sort out my thoughts on all this by sharing,  and thinking out loud. The feedback helps me to think further on it. I really do appreciate it. 

"It is a question of odds". This is what one of my earlier doctors was explaining to me when I was wondering why I was taking medications which made me feel really bad. He was explaining that they looked at the numbers to determine survival rates of different interventions.  So that is how I did it first time around. But, having gone through it again and again, I have put limits on what I would do again. I'm sure I'm still here because of the treatment I did get. I can decide to do things even if it makes me sick if I know there is an end to the treatment other than death or because the cancer came back and I have reached the point that I will not take something that makes me so sick until the end.  That does not make sense to me.  That doesn't make sense to me.  I want to be here as long as I can enjoy my life.  If I physically feel lousy all the time, I think it is time to stop the treatment.  So my priorities change as my situation changes. 

I had my last Healing Art class with Nina Landgraff at Bakersfield College We did a more complicated movement- moving smoothly, non-stop. This exercise,  if kept up regularly helps with concentration, creativeness and balancing the left and right hemispheres of the brain.  There is another step that isn't on this one and that is to use a color on the outside (both sides), or a thicker pen that when you come to an intersection you do a weaving motion over, then under the next intersection.  make sure it is even every direction you go.  Keep moving your pen until it gets there.  Then we did a couple of Intuitive Paintings. They are really fun to do and I do enjoy getting my hands into it, though we used a brush more this time.  It is done in acrylic.  I also really like the idea of engaging in something like art or making marks which can affect my body and my brain. 

An Exercise to Increase your Brain/Body Connection

Nina Landgraff's Intuitive Painting of Wave Along the Shore in Acrylics
She Gave Me This Painting She Did!

My Version of the Intuitive Painting of Wave Along the Shore in Acrylics

This is My Intuitive Painting of Flowers in a Pot in Acrylics

At Carol Bradshaw's class at the Bakersfield Art Center, we worked on a different kind of watercolor wash. This is a streaked wash doing west into wet. I have a tendency to do things evenly Carol said,  "the mind wants to do this".  So I need to be more alert to me doing that to avoid it. It makes a blah, or even an unpleasant picture. It is also not likely in the natural world.   I will be adding more before class.

Wet on Wet doing a Streak Wash

This is a Wet on Wet Streaked Wash

This was the week in doing lots of plumbing repairs. It was fairly expensive, but I feel my home is more whole and substantial with this all done. 

My granddaughter Heather came over to help me put together the raised gardening beds for veggies. I ordered it through Costco and it slid together. Then we went to a nursery to get organic potting soil and something else to make it really lush. Heather and I spread it in the boxes. 

I had lunch with my friend Jeanne at La Costa de Mariscos sharing about people we remembered when we worked in hospice. Great time as usual. I would really love to get together with these people as a group some time.  We were incredibly fortunate because we had a supervisor who was very supportive. All the people there loved their work. We had a wonderful relationship and even got together outside of work. 

Then my friend Barb and I went to buy vegetable plants and herbs which we went back to plant in the same day. It looked beautiful!  Since then I added a few more then released praying mantis and ladybugs for some natural pest control.  So this is the finished project with my friend Barbara's and my granddaughter Heather's help.

Free-Standing Planting Beds from Costco with Veggies and Herbs in it.

The Taller One is Lavender to Attract Bees.  I Will Be Adding Dill for the Same Purpose
The Other Plant is a Second Tomato Plant.  I Will Get a Cage to Hold the Tomatoes

The next day I had no energy. After a workman left, I fell asleep in my armchair. I had called my friend Janet about meeting for dinner, but I woke up too late. I then fell back to sleep for three more  hours in that armchair and then went to bed.  I think I over did it the day before.

My friend Jody's cat Sweetum's died. I know this was very rough for her because he was a great companion as all of our pets are. She sent me wonderful stories about his antics. They were great stories.  I felt she could write a book about him. This was also the anniversary of my friend Janet's husband, Ron's death this week. Last Sunday was also the day of Paul's and my wedding anniversary. Lots of reminiscing and more grieving.  

So my second great-grandson was born on Saturday, April 18th. Meagan's water broke Friday. She was out of town at a special doctor's  appointment for Conner in Fresno.  They hurried to get back.  Meagan went from being dilated at 5 when they reached the hospital and reaching 10 in a half hour. So fast!  He just slipped out!   His name is Kason. He was born 7:40 AM on April 18, 19 inches long and weighing in at  5 pounds 13 ounces. Billy had to go out to buy him a premie outfit since newborn size was too big. I dropped by to see Meagan and Kason later that day.   Billy was also there and Meagan's mom Dainette. I was struck by how much Kason looked like his mom. When Conner was born, I felt he looked more like his dad. 

Kason is So Tiny!  It is Amazing Looking Down on A
Miniature Person!

Grandma Dainette is Holding Kason.  He Has Very Long Fingers!

Kason Has a Head of Hair!

Conner was with the people who care for him at day care with his sister Coco.  It is a regular day for him and as you can see, he is enjoying himself.  This is the same day his brother Kason was born.

Conner on the Day of his Brother Kason's Birth, April 18, 2015

So this has been an incredible busy and momentous week.  There was much more that happened, but these are the highlights.  I might just go lie down and take a nap!  My phone just went into French mode and I didn't set it there!  I changed it to United Kingdom English yesterday when my grandson Billy showed me now to change it.  So I'm trying Singapore English today.  I'm looking for what appeals the most.  I may just move it around.

So here you have it.  I hope your week went well or if you were going through rough times, you got the support you needed and will continue to get it.  I will see you here next week.  Thanks for reading.            Rachel

Art to Reduce Stress

Did you know that it takes a gallon of water to produce one almond?  I didn't. Did you know that agriculture uses 80% of our state's water?  I didn't realize it was that high!  So if I cut my showers to half the time I do now, it isn't going to have that big an impact. I'm okay about not growing grass.  I do understand the need to cut back. It seems we have a much bigger problem because the water is going to run out. The water underground is being used now by agriculture. That took millions of years to develop. It hasn't taken long to use it up. Okay, end of my rant on our water situation. What I now want to figure out is what can I have instead of grass. I did get three waist level gardening units that I have to put together.  But it is small and I am going to grow my own veggies. My friend Barbara does this we will talk about each of us deciding on some veggies and sharing them.  My daughter Shelley is doing her vegetable garden too.  Now, they never did put in a backyard, but her picture is a little scary.

Kevin and Shelley's Vegetable Garden

It goes before the city council  to put in a watering schedule. If your street number ends in an even number, you may water your lawn Sunday , Wednesday and Friday. If your street number ends in an even number, your watering days are Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.  Businesses do not have limitations. Now if this is a serious drought, why would they not be included?  This seems very scary,  but, they are acting too casual.  Why is this?  Okay, end of my rant on our water situation.  If all the grass died, which it should with this, I want to think about how to make my  yard inviting without it costing a ridiculous amount of water.

My oven now works. The element I ordered did the trick. I called a plumber to see about the water getting to the fridge for water and ice in the door. Water comes to the door. Still have a problem with the ice maker. I left a message with the appliance repairman about coming back for that.  Next week the plumber is coming back to replace the pipes attached to the house. But, he needs to know where the emergency shut off valve is. I don't know where it is.  I messaged the water company. Their message is I need to call and make an appointment for them to come and turn it off, then turn it on. They got back to me too late. I'll call them Monday morning 

Major events happened this week.  My great-grandson Conner turned one and his sister Coco turned three. My friend Marykay's daughter Rachel (named after me) had her first child, her daughter Eva Ramona. I also had friends who married. I'm so happy for them!  And life goes on. 

My art class, called Healing Art with Nina Landgraff at Bakersfield College was good.  We stood up with our hands in a prayer position our eyes closed and noted which way we leaned. She then had us do a drawing exercise to help get ourselves in balance. She first had us drawing the number 8. She asked us to determine if the upper part was the same size and shape as the lower part.  So we turned it sideways still drawing over it to make them be more in line. Then she had us do it with our non-dominant hand.  Then we did two eights next to each other trying to keep the same proportions. Then we drew both eights at the same time using both hands at the same time. Then we outlined the eights at the top and where they join in the middle to make a heart. She said to do this daily until we could stand without being pulled any direction.   Mind and body interact with each other and the idea is to get them working for you instead of against you.  I love the idea.  I recommend this class for anyone in the area.  

Then we did a finger painting selecting two colors and white. I've included Nina's (she's our teacher)  and mine. Then she had us do a background with several colors, then draw some squiggly lines to make grape vines, then with our fingers put in grapes and then more squiggly lines that the vines use to hold the grapes. Also a couple of grape leaves. The ocean and lighthouse pictures are done by  spraying water over the paper and then making a white circle and come back with the bright color around it until it is only the bright color.  The dark color goes around all of this following the circle at the top and going back and forth at the bottom.  Then work in white for the reflection and come back on the sides for the rocks and lighthouse.  Then perhaps put a boat in the water and birds in the sky.  Fun!  I'm going to do more of this.  Only one more class, but I have really enjoyed it. Learning how the body and mind work together to help or hinder us can be helpful to get the resources on our side. I appreciate having that knowledge.  I liked practicing it too because you get a better sense of how to do it.  I will take it again if I am not overwhelmed with other events.  I have to pace myself.

Nina Landgraff's Finger Painting with  Acrylic

Nina Landgraff's Finger Painting with Acrylic

Nina Landgraff's Finger Painting with Acrylic

This is My Finger Painting with Acrylic

My Perspective is Way Off!
My Lighthouse is too big!  But it was supposed to be Fun and it was!

Class with Carol Bradshaw went well. I find it helps to watch her do it, though I feel I need to see it more than once. So we went over the graduated wash and then worked on a variable wash. She also gives wonderful tips to make our pictures even better. One she said was to go back to the mountain range and drop a little more color at the top of the range, but not solidly. It will make it look more real.  By the way, she recommended Mastering the Watercolor Wash by Joe Garcia.  Very helpful.  I think I am ready to frame the green peppers and the seaside port.  I'm still working on my butterfly- perhaps nesx weekend.

Carol Bradshaw's Layering Flat Washes

Carol Bradshaw's Layers of Gradated Washes

Carol Bradshaw's Gradated Wash Using Two Colors
Coming From Each Side

My Painting-Seaside Port

My Painting-Green Peppers done in Hooker's Green

Trees on a Flat Wash with Some Color Removed from Trunks

Trees on a Gradated Wash with Some Color Removed from the Trunks

So a birthday party was held for Conner and Coco. It was a nice event.  It was held outside.  Very windy and when in the shade, quite cool, but I couldn't handle the sun.

Conner, One Year Old and Coco, Three Years Old

Conner Enjoying a Birthday Cupcake

Billy and Conner Going Down the Slide

Picture of Billy, my grandson and Conner, my great-grandson

Father and Son

This afternoon Barbara and I are going to a matinee put on by the Bakersfield Community Concert Association featuring Los 3 Ortiz.  A Cuban/Venezuelan harpist, Alfredo Rolando Ortiz will be performing with his two daughters.  They do folk, popular and classical music from many countries.  I'm looking forward to it.  Then we are going back to this great little Chinese. restaurant called Ching Yen which is so tasty.  With Barbara I usually go vegetarian and have found it delicious!

This is an article called "How Do You Want to Die?" From Nextavenue.org   

http://www.nextavenue.org/article/2015-04/how-do-you-want-die?utm_source=na_socialmedia&utm_medium=na_socialmedia&utm_campaign=na_socialmedia


That is it for the week.  I hope you are doing well and finding things to enjoy in life.   See you next Sunday.                   Rachel

Getting Things Done!

A six part series starts tomorrow night on PBS. It s called - Cancer: The Emperor of All Maladies. Though I know the subject can be depressing, there are also things to be hopeful about. I believe from my reading that a cure is around the corner. Look  for this program in your guide. 

Simon is a crafts man. 

 I had the television on and heard Angie's List come on. I normally don't hear ads because I record it, but it was on and I have lots of issues around my home which need to be dealt with- Mostly electrical.  So I looked them up and the cost to join, if they were helpful was okay. So I joined and immediately looked  for an electrician. It lists how many reviews each got and the grade given to them.   You can also read all the reviews. I made a list of all my electrical problems and sent it off to the one with the most and highest reviews- Rankin Electric.   I got a response by the end of the day. They could do all of them except one.  The one they couldn't do requires an appliance repair person. The electrician came and fixed the electrical problems which all turned out to be relatively simple so it was just one hour of labor ($70), plus I got a gift card for Dewar's Ice Cream and Candy.  This is a local specialty which had been praised on Huell Howser's show called California's Gold.

The baking element in my built-in oven broke. I emailed a supply business through Angie's List, AppliancePartsPros.Com, having taken a picture of the element in the oven and the metal tag with the information on this oven. They did a search and found the part in less than an hour.  Though I thought the part fairly expensive ($146), I know that something built in 1960 wouldn’t be everywhere therefore more expensive. In addition, since it is a built-in, I cannot afford to do the cabinetry, which would be required because ovens are not this small anymore.  So,  really, I am pleased.  Problem solved.  These are the two pictures I sent to make it easier for them to see the problem and get the right part.  It does wonders to have a camera built into the phone!  I received the part yesterday and now I will call an appliance repairperson to put the new one in.

Element Broke off on the Right Side

The Tag in the Oven

                                                                                                                 
My great-grandson Conner is walking a lot now.  I cannot show videos because my granddaughter-in-law has them blocked beyond those who have permission to view her page.  I'll show a picture of him standing when she puts it up.

In my healing art class, we did intuitive art. Everyone else's pictures had a lighter touch than mine. We used acrylic paint doing a Mandala and one free form. Then we did a picture using our fingers with a moon reflection in water, boats, clouds and birds. You use your favorite color and white paint. I used green. That was interesting. I also ordered a book on intuitive painting because there are only two more of these classes.  I think exploring this area sounds good.

Mandala

Free Form

Moon with Reflection on Water, Sail Boats, Clouds and Birds

Our class with Carol Bradshaw went well. We worked on our flat wash and also the graduated wash. I'm showing Carol's pictures because it is very clear what the difference is.   The lines are for trees I'll put on shortly.

Carol Bradshaw's Layers of Five Flat Washes

Carol Bradshaw's Layers of Five Gradated Washes

Carol Bradshaw's Two Tinted Gradated Washes Started on Each Side

                                                   

My Five Layers of Flat Washes Trees Not In

My Five Layers of Gradated Washes  Trees Not In
(I really have to work on this one!)

I finished my tax return and got it in the mail. I used Taxact.com.  It is designed to give you as much guidance as you need. Phew!  I'm so glad to have that done!

My friend Barbara had her house tented for termites.  She spent two nights here. She had a heavy schedule but we carved out some time during the first day and had dinner at Rosa's.

I went to see my friend Annemarie and then we drove up to see a mutual friend Lynette and her husband Simon.   We stayed in their guest room. I brought my cot and bedding. Annmarie got the bed.  Lynette is a psychologist as is Annemarie.  I used to work with them and we still hold on to our friendship.  Lynette's husband Simon is a master craftsman.  He does wonderful things with wood.  He wants the wood to be the star so he is into simplicity to allow this to show.  He is great with floors, cabinets and furniture.  I'm sure he does other things too.  His work is high end, so he cannot afford many of the items he makes for others.  While we were out at this restaurant in Fresno called Five, the word got around that he had designed a dining room at another restaurant which I understand is gorgeous.   Several people wanted to shake his hand.  They thought I must be a part of this and turned to me and I said, "Oh, I'm just his substitute mom."  Don't know why I said that, but I did.   I hope on a future visit we can have dinner in this dining room.  I would be willing to pay a little more to just try this out.  The only part I don't think I can afford would be the wine.  I would be willing to drink most of the wine before going there and split a bottle there.  Maybe I can afford that.  Simon has done wonderful things with their home using his woodworking skills- Really makes their home special.

When we drove back to Annmarie's home, we went to the art gallery in Hanford where two of her pictures were displayed.  That was lots of fun!  Such talent.  We are looking at her coming on a Saturday and spending the night here.  We saw some beautiful work with mosaic tiles.  So we are thinking that each of use might do that.  Mine will be for my patio.

The change in my pain medications has made it easier to do the things I want to do.  I am much more comfortable.  In May, I will get cortisone injections around my spine where the discs are slipping and where it is compressed.  No guarantees, but if it lessens the pain, I will be doing even better.

I've mentioned Brain Pickings Weekly before.  It is really excellent.  They review books you might want to consider getting.   Well one of the articles is "7 Unusual Children's Books that Help Kids Make Sense of Death."  I was trying to put an attachment but couldn't make it work.  They would appreciate a donation, so if you go there, think of the quality of the information you are getting.  This comes to my email.  Check it out.

Well that is it for the week.  I have quite a bit scheduled next week as well.  I enjoy it.  I think the smoothies I am drinking are increasing my stamina.  It is worth it!  Tastes good too!  One of my friends Jody found an article in The New York Times about adding grains to give it staying power.  I do that.  I have been adding, flax seed, chia seed, wheat germ and a cereal  that you would usually have with milk.  One of these days I'm going to cook up quinoa and put some in.  My friend Barbara thought the texture would not be pleasant.  Well I put ice in it and it seems somewhat like a shake which is okay with me.

See you next Sunday.  Have a good week.           Rachel

Such a Variety!

I know I repost things on Facebook because I agree, that it reminds me of me or those around us, it is funny or it is cute. So there was this one of a woman who goes to handle something, gets distracted and keeps moving never getting anything done. 

That is not quite me.  I do get things done, but not necessarily the intended thing or I get a lot more done than the intended task.

For example, one morning this week I knew I needed to pick up a few items for my art class. I thought I'd take my pills with me. I left my water in my bedroom. I go to get that and decide I need to make the bed. I then can't find my cell phone. That whole process leads me to change the batteries in the smoke alarm in the garage because it was beeping.  Now I don't remember where I set down my pills. So I decide to take another load of laundry out to the garage to start. When I bend down to put the laundry in, I see my cell phone on top of the washer. I put it in my pocket. I go to the living room to get my purse and see my pills. I go back to my bedroom to get the water. So during this process, I made the bed, changed the batteries in the smoke alarm, started a load of laundry and moved a load to the dryer in addition to getting all the stuff I thought I needed for my drive across town.   Is that multitasking?  There have been times I have spent all day and into the evening doing this. This last incident was only an hour. 

In my class with Nina Landgraff, she had us do exercises using acrylic paint. We drew a fairly large circle on two pieces of paper for acrylic.  Then we divided the circles into twelve wedges.  Then we did a color wheel but the labels we put on each color was the emotion we sensed with that color. It would not necessarily be something that others would feel. She suggested we keep it up to note how we are feeling or to pick a color to help us out.

The second circle, she asked us to put the colors we were feeling then. She told us not to overthink it, and it was okay to have the same color in different wedges. 

Then we took one of the colors that evoked a negative feeling. We were asked to put the color on the paper, then start mixing colors we liked in with the color we didn't like.  In the process of doing this, it would help in looking at the color in a positive light and then have a positive feeling about the original color. This is what I did.  The blue was somewhat of a negative color to me.

Class with Carol Bradshaw at the Bakersfield Art Center was very good.  We brought in the washes we had done and then we started a picture of mountain ranges using a wash with each one, but making the next one just a little darker. It was a good experience.  She suggested we get stencils to put on our washes. So I now have some I got at Michael's.   She also suggested using a little more pen sporadically on my seaside town and put a flag on the largest boat. She wants me to darken the green on my butterfly picture.  She has talked to us to think of mama, papa, baby for size of areas and for intensity of color.  My yellow and green are similar in intensity, so I need to make a change. It will be done before class, but not this blog.  We also worked on doing several washes of mountain ranges. I still need to put trees in.                                                                                                          

I used a brush for stenciling, but with watercolor- little detail.

I used a watercolor brush and different colors- lots of detail

Chimneys outlined, sporadic use of pen for outlining and flag on one boat

Five layered washes.  In final picture, I won't have pencil in it.
I'll also put in trees                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

The Helping One Dinner was very nice this week. I identify with the woman, Elisa Analla, who was honored this week. Very touching. She got lots of support which I feel will really be helpful to her.  Since the event was on Saint Patrick's Day, they had a traditional meal done by The Marriott of corned beef and cabbage. The Marriott has been doing a lovely job being the venue for Helping One Woman in Visalia.  Martha and I went to The Runway for breakfast.  Quite good and a nice setting!  It's at their local airport.

I sent a message to my endocrinologist about the question of taking calcium and Prilosec. My friend Vicki who brought this up is smart and I didn't take her concern lightly.   She thought that the Prilosec would affect how much calcium my body would absorb.  Well my doctor told me to take calcium citrate instead of calcium carbonate because calcium citrate does not depend on stomach acid to break it down. I always  wondered why there were two types of calcium.  I think there are other calciums too.  Pharmacists have told me it didn't matter which one I took when I asked in the past.   I also found calcium carbonate to be much more common and cheaper than calcium citrate. You really have to check the label. 

Because I have been juicing, it has thrown off the levels of Coumadin in my body. So it has been increased to accommodate my change. I'm glad they are able to adjust the dosage, because I think the increased greens and therefore Vitamin K has gone up. But these greens have multiple benefits and I want to continue it. 

I saw the doctor at the pain clinic. He said in addition to the compression fracture, I have several discs that are slipping. I'm going back on morphine with Percocet and I'm scheduled for two separate injections in my back with cortisone which might lessen the pain.  I will have to do the injections of Lovenox again around this. Ugh!  I never thought I could get used to it, but I think I am.  My friend Janet will be my driver again.   I need to learn that if it happens once, it is possible it will happen again instead of fooling myself that I am over something. Really, I have been learning to think like that, because it is so much less stressful if you have in your head it could happen again. Because when I do it this way (it won't happen again, I'm disappointed that I have to go through it again.  I just cope much better if I leave that option on the table.  I also don't want to take morphine unless I have lots of pain, so I will not use it regularly until I have to. 

Janet and I had lunch at Muertos. Good food!  I had the Ahi tacos. The horseradish sauce was so hot but tasty. I think I'll ask them next time to thin it out some to cut the heat. It was almost hard to breathe. Janet had a very hot burger, but she loves the heat.  I took her over to The Bakersfield Art Center which she really enjoyed.  I love showing this place off to friends. It is so nice. My teacher Carol Bradshaw was there with another student. It turned out Janet had met her when she walked her dog Poopy. Since Poopy died six months ago, she cannot  get herself to do the same walk she used to do. Too painful. 

I went out to lunch with my friends Lisa, Charmaine and Janet at The Pyrenees Cafe in old town Bakersfield. The setup was very good as were the Bloody Marys.  I didn't care for my Ossobuco (tough and made with beef), Lamb Shank (Janet said it was blah) and Fish and Chips (Charmaine thought it was too bready).  Lisa got a tuna salad which she liked. The dining room was remodeled but maintains the feel of the family dining.  I don't know if I'd go back but there were a lot of people there. We made a reservation and I would recommend doing that if you go there. 

I went to the Baby Shower for Meagan who is due in early May. It was good. They held it at a pizza parlor and had extra foods beyond what they provide. Very enjoyable.  This will be my second great-grandson. His name is Kason. 

Barbara and I saw Insurgent. I didn't like it nearly as much as Divergent.  It was more action and much less of a story line.   We then went out for Chinese food at Ching Yen on Columbus Street. The food is fresh and tasty. Since Barbara is vegan, she ordered the food. We each had enough for another meal.   I loved it. I don't know why I don't think of this place when I think Chinese;  it would is worth it. 

Here is an incredibly cute picture of Meagan with Conner sitting on Kason (Meagan is pregnant and due in about six weeks).                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Another full week!  I hope your week went well.  I'll see you next Sunday.           Rachel  

Taking Control Again

One thought which has helped me on getting through the negative is the need to take control of my own life where I can. This has nothing to do with controlling others. There are lots of things that happen, even to us, where we cannot control it. For me, it was seeing people important to me dying and me getting cancer. It struck me how little control I did have. But, there are ways to take control of our lives. I do it by upping my veggies and fruits, by taking an art class, by refusing to be used by others. I'm sure there is more I can do, but I know if I make it too hard or too much, I won't do it. These things have helped me to cope. So I challenge you. You don't have to share with me or anyone else. You don't have to have cancer or have lost anyone. We all have our challenges in life. When stuff happens though, it makes us examine out lives much more. If you do exactly what you are doing, there is no reason for your situation to change. Pick something and stick with it. I think you will be surprised to see an impact on your life. 

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Daisy, one of my kitties has been closely observing me. I kept finding my clean pajamas on the floor and my lowest builti-in drawer open. At first I wondered if it was me, but I don't put clean clothes on the floor and I don't leave drawers and cupboards open. It happened again, with much of what was in that drawer removed. I think she was climbing in there. You might wonder why I don't blame Pepper. This is not like her personality. Anyway, I caught Daisy doing it again last night and yelled at her. She stopped but she figured I wouldn't stop her if I wasn't there. Now she is doing it when I'm not around, but not wide enough to get in. I think she is doing it because it is there and she can. She can't be getting in with how wide she is making it. Each time I put it away, she pulls them out again. I've ordered a childproof lock and will leave the clothes there until I can prevent her doing this. By the way, if my back door is open, they don't even attempt to open the screen which has no latch and easily rolls. Go figure.  I don't think they want to go outside.   So here is the culprit and what she did with my pajamas. 

Daisy the Culprit

My Pajamas Removed by Daisy

I bought two pairs of pants from littleblackpant.com.  When they came, I put them aside because I felt they were probably too small. Finally, after a week I did try them on. Amazing!  They fit very well. They are selling at half-price at $40. I don't know how long that will last. They ask interesting questions to determine my body shape.  They refund at 100% and are willing to exchange and pay the shipping to return them. Check them out. They have two different styles of pants classic straight leg and ankle slim pant. I think they will expand in colors in the future. 

I finished the last Lovenox  Injection Monday night. I'm glad it is over. My stomach is black and blue. And the stuff hurts some when being injected.   I also got my Prolia (to build up bones) injection on the same day.  My next one is in six months. 

I had my Healing Art class with Nina Landgraff. What we did was scribble our feelings on an an 8x11 sheet of paper, fold it in half and do the same thing, again and again until it couldn't  be folded again. Then we ripped each of our sheets to pieces. She said we could burn them too.  The idea is to get rid of negative feelings we have about someone. This could take multiple sheets of paper. Another exercise was to draw with a micron pen a loopy scribble. Then we take a colored pencil, not noting which one and pointing without looking at which space will have that color. Keep doing this with each color. If the color pencils are in a cup and you return them to the cup, don't worry if you reuse the color, it is okay.  You can press harder or softer to change the value and if you use you opposite hand, your brain will stay out of it. The final activity we did was to draw (trace) a circle, for a Mandala, then did curvy lines back and forth using a Micron or similar pen.  Then make a different Zentangle design with the pen in each section, changing the value (darkness and lightness) to give it interest.  She had very relaxing music on in the background and I found it I was almost limp at the end.

My class with Carol  Bradshaw was held in the new center now on 19th Street (1607 19th Street, 93301). There are separate rooms which makes it easier to concentrate on class. Carol gave me good feedback on improving my picture of the green peppers. By the way, I now realize I used the wrong word "monotone" when I meant "monochromatic."  Of course this makes much more sense than the word I used!  She suggested I soften the line where the mask was. She also suggested I use thinner lines when I put down the mask.  So this week we are doing washes with three new colors - cerulean blue, ochre yellow and Indian red. These are opaque colors that granulate. Each set of colors we have used have their own characteristics.  I worked further on pictures I posted. I worked on taking the hard line off the green peppers and added more shading for the areas behind the front. On the seaside village, I added pen to the masts, boats and a little on the buildings. I also put a little more reflection of the white in the water. On the flower/butterfly, I did more shadow for that which is behind.   Here are two of the washes also, though I'm not sure it is what she wanted.  I used the new colors for these.  One is is cerulean blue and the other is a mix of the cerulean blog and ochre yellow.  They bubbled some and neither looks like a flat wash.  We will be doing something with these.  I'll also do more, perhaps with a darker hue.

More shading on the Bell Peppers

Added Pen and Ink and More Reflection of the White

More Shading to the Back Petals

It's Supposed to be a Cerulean Blue Flat Wash

This is a Cerulean Blue and Ochre Yellow Flat Wash

My friend Jeanne met me at Mama Roomba for lunch. We had enough for her to give her husband a taste. I'm sure he will like it too. Great food! We then went to the Bakersfield Art Center in their new location. I love that place and their move was a good one.  We also dropped by Kuka's and saw Ruth Darrington, the owner. That store is wonderful for colorful decorations.   Then we checked a framing shop across the street which also has lovely items for decorating. I also showed her where Sandrini's was, on Eye Street in a basement. Also has great food. We'll also go to Chef's Choice Noodle House which is excellent. I recommend First Friday, but you need to make a reservation for restaurants close by for that night. I didn't mention The Mark, very good or Muertos in the alley (Wall Street), but they are all good.  I think our downtown is becoming very special. The Padre Hotel has a great restaurant and bar. That is just one block away. There is also The Fox which has wonderful shows and there is a nice live theatre on 19th Street called Spotlight Theatre. For those into theatre, there are other ones also a little further out, but no less inviting.

The prescription for my glasses feels off. I went back to the optometrist and said the distant part of the prescription was off. She took them and came back awhile later saying that it was not situated evenly on the lens so they agreed to return them for correction.  I was relieved that it wasn't all in my head. 

I have had a problem with my electricity out in part of my home. I did pull the switches outside and it took care of part of it. My grandson could not figure out what to do, but thought that part behind one of the switches needs to be replaced and recommended an electrician.  So when I have enough money, I'll do that. 

Sam Simon who was a co-creator of The Simpsons died this week of Cancer. He told people he was the happiest during the time when he knew he was dying. I do think the quality of our time becomes better when we focus on what is important to us.  

Meagan and Billy had a Revealing Ceremony at my home a while back. Only Meagan's mom Dainette and her girlfriend knew the sex of the baby they would have. They opened a box to find a boy bear. Here is a picture of that which was recently posted. 

Meagan and Billy Finding Out the Gender of Their Next Child

My grandson now has his own scrubs in preparation for the birth of his second son Kason, my second great grandson, who is due in less than 8 weeks. 

Billy in his Own Scrubs!

Here is a lovely picture with Meagan holding her son Conner and not far from delivering Kason!

Meagan, my granddaughter-in-law holding Conner and
almost ready to deliver Kason

And, I couldn't help seeing the similarities between my kitty Daisy going through my draw and my great- grandson Conner looking to see what he could do at his home!

Conner checking out what is up there!

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My niece Shannon wanted me to share our experience going down the Shoshone River in Wyoming. Paul's three youngest children, Scott, Jerry and Jennifer were with Paul and me on this trip.   There were five more people on this blowup raft with us.  We have a guide who explained what to do when we were rafting. Now we are going down the river. We are hitting rapids and moving around huge boulders.  We hit a calm area and our guide says "that's good".   I thought he liked what we were doing and so I kept doing it. I'm not looking around because I am concentrating on what I'm doing. He says "that's good" again. I just give him more. Then he screams "STOP!"  I stop and look around. We had been going in a circle because I was the only one paddling. Everyone was staring at me and I smiled sheepishly realizing what I had done. 

On this same trip, we reserved a cabin in the mountains on our road trip. When we signed in, the man said that the door to the attic was locked because they did not want us going up there. During the night, I get up to go to the bathroom.  I had to go through the kids room to get to the bathroom.  The kids, Scott, Jerry and Jennifer were kneeling on the bed and were intensely listening for something.   I stopped and asked them what was going on. They said there was someone in the attic and they were scared. Then there was a whoosh sound and they said, "Did you hear that?!"   I did.  I just didn't think it was an evil thing.  So I stayed there listening for it again and eventually found this electric scent atomizer and showed them. I was trying to get them back to sleep. They did lay down.  The next morning Paul, who slept very well suggested we stay there another night. "NO," they said in unison.  They had little sleep that night.  So that was the end of the spooky cabin. 

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This is an excellent article on what it means to "hold space". I think this is why I feel the hospice I worked for was so special.  We worked with patients and families of many different beliefs and we went with them on their journeys.  We never took over the roles that were theirs. 

http://heatherplett.com/2015/03/hold-space/

By the way, I continue to make my smoothies with fruits and veggies.  It is never quite the same day to day.  I have to admit it looks yucky to me, but it tastes great and is easy to make. I put it in an opaque container, so I don't have to look at it.   I add ice to make it frothy.  Refreshing!

That's it for the week. Lots going on this next week including Helping One Woman dinner and seeing a pain management doctor. I hope you have a great week.   See you next Sunday. Rachel.