One thought which has helped me on getting through the negative is the need to take control of my own life where I can. This has nothing to do with controlling others. There are lots of things that happen, even to us, where we cannot control it. For me, it was seeing people important to me dying and me getting cancer. It struck me how little control I did have. But, there are ways to take control of our lives. I do it by upping my veggies and fruits, by taking an art class, by refusing to be used by others. I'm sure there is more I can do, but I know if I make it too hard or too much, I won't do it. These things have helped me to cope. So I challenge you. You don't have to share with me or anyone else. You don't have to have cancer or have lost anyone. We all have our challenges in life. When stuff happens though, it makes us examine out lives much more. If you do exactly what you are doing, there is no reason for your situation to change. Pick something and stick with it. I think you will be surprised to see an impact on your life.
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Daisy, one of my kitties has been closely observing me. I kept finding my clean pajamas on the floor and my lowest builti-in drawer open. At first I wondered if it was me, but I don't put clean clothes on the floor and I don't leave drawers and cupboards open. It happened again, with much of what was in that drawer removed. I think she was climbing in there. You might wonder why I don't blame Pepper. This is not like her personality. Anyway, I caught Daisy doing it again last night and yelled at her. She stopped but she figured I wouldn't stop her if I wasn't there. Now she is doing it when I'm not around, but not wide enough to get in. I think she is doing it because it is there and she can. She can't be getting in with how wide she is making it. Each time I put it away, she pulls them out again. I've ordered a childproof lock and will leave the clothes there until I can prevent her doing this. By the way, if my back door is open, they don't even attempt to open the screen which has no latch and easily rolls. Go figure. I don't think they want to go outside. So here is the culprit and what she did with my pajamas.
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| Daisy the Culprit |
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| My Pajamas Removed by Daisy |
I bought two pairs of pants from littleblackpant.com. When they came, I put them aside because I felt they were probably too small. Finally, after a week I did try them on. Amazing! They fit very well. They are selling at half-price at $40. I don't know how long that will last. They ask interesting questions to determine my body shape. They refund at 100% and are willing to exchange and pay the shipping to return them. Check them out. They have two different styles of pants classic straight leg and ankle slim pant. I think they will expand in colors in the future.
I finished the last Lovenox Injection Monday night. I'm glad it is over. My stomach is black and blue. And the stuff hurts some when being injected. I also got my Prolia (to build up bones) injection on the same day. My next one is in six months.
I had my Healing Art class with Nina Landgraff. What we did was scribble our feelings on an an 8x11 sheet of paper, fold it in half and do the same thing, again and again until it couldn't be folded again. Then we ripped each of our sheets to pieces. She said we could burn them too. The idea is to get rid of negative feelings we have about someone. This could take multiple sheets of paper. Another exercise was to draw with a micron pen a loopy scribble. Then we take a colored pencil, not noting which one and pointing without looking at which space will have that color. Keep doing this with each color. If the color pencils are in a cup and you return them to the cup, don't worry if you reuse the color, it is okay. You can press harder or softer to change the value and if you use you opposite hand, your brain will stay out of it. The final activity we did was to draw (trace) a circle, for a Mandala, then did curvy lines back and forth using a Micron or similar pen. Then make a different Zentangle design with the pen in each section, changing the value (darkness and lightness) to give it interest. She had very relaxing music on in the background and I found it I was almost limp at the end.
My class with Carol Bradshaw was held in the new center now on 19th Street (1607 19th Street, 93301). There are separate rooms which makes it easier to concentrate on class. Carol gave me good feedback on improving my picture of the green peppers. By the way, I now realize I used the wrong word "monotone" when I meant "monochromatic." Of course this makes much more sense than the word I used! She suggested I soften the line where the mask was. She also suggested I use thinner lines when I put down the mask. So this week we are doing washes with three new colors - cerulean blue, ochre yellow and Indian red. These are opaque colors that granulate. Each set of colors we have used have their own characteristics. I worked further on pictures I posted. I worked on taking the hard line off the green peppers and added more shading for the areas behind the front. On the seaside village, I added pen to the masts, boats and a little on the buildings. I also put a little more reflection of the white in the water. On the flower/butterfly, I did more shadow for that which is behind. Here are two of the washes also, though I'm not sure it is what she wanted. I used the new colors for these. One is is cerulean blue and the other is a mix of the cerulean blog and ochre yellow. They bubbled some and neither looks like a flat wash. We will be doing something with these. I'll also do more, perhaps with a darker hue.
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| More shading on the Bell Peppers |
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| Added Pen and Ink and More Reflection of the White |
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| More Shading to the Back Petals |
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| It's Supposed to be a Cerulean Blue Flat Wash |
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| This is a Cerulean Blue and Ochre Yellow Flat Wash |
My friend Jeanne met me at Mama Roomba for lunch. We had enough for her to give her husband a taste. I'm sure he will like it too. Great food! We then went to the Bakersfield Art Center in their new location. I love that place and their move was a good one. We also dropped by Kuka's and saw Ruth Darrington, the owner. That store is wonderful for colorful decorations. Then we checked a framing shop across the street which also has lovely items for decorating. I also showed her where Sandrini's was, on Eye Street in a basement. Also has great food. We'll also go to Chef's Choice Noodle House which is excellent. I recommend First Friday, but you need to make a reservation for restaurants close by for that night. I didn't mention The Mark, very good or Muertos in the alley (Wall Street), but they are all good. I think our downtown is becoming very special. The Padre Hotel has a great restaurant and bar. That is just one block away. There is also The Fox which has wonderful shows and there is a nice live theatre on 19th Street called Spotlight Theatre. For those into theatre, there are other ones also a little further out, but no less inviting.
The prescription for my glasses feels off. I went back to the optometrist and said the distant part of the prescription was off. She took them and came back awhile later saying that it was not situated evenly on the lens so they agreed to return them for correction. I was relieved that it wasn't all in my head.
I have had a problem with my electricity out in part of my home. I did pull the switches outside and it took care of part of it. My grandson could not figure out what to do, but thought that part behind one of the switches needs to be replaced and recommended an electrician. So when I have enough money, I'll do that.
Sam Simon who was a co-creator of The Simpsons died this week of Cancer. He told people he was the happiest during the time when he knew he was dying. I do think the quality of our time becomes better when we focus on what is important to us.
Meagan and Billy had a Revealing Ceremony at my home a while back. Only Meagan's mom Dainette and her girlfriend knew the sex of the baby they would have. They opened a box to find a boy bear. Here is a picture of that which was recently posted.
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| Meagan and Billy Finding Out the Gender of Their Next Child |
My grandson now has his own scrubs in preparation for the birth of his second son Kason, my second great grandson, who is due in less than 8 weeks.
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| Billy in his Own Scrubs! |
Here is a lovely picture with Meagan holding her son Conner and not far from delivering Kason!
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| Meagan, my granddaughter-in-law holding Conner and almost ready to deliver Kason |
And, I couldn't help seeing the similarities between my kitty Daisy going through my draw and my great- grandson Conner looking to see what he could do at his home!
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| Conner checking out what is up there! |
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My niece Shannon wanted me to share our experience going down the Shoshone River in Wyoming. Paul's three youngest children, Scott, Jerry and Jennifer were with Paul and me on this trip. There were five more people on this blowup raft with us. We have a guide who explained what to do when we were rafting. Now we are going down the river. We are hitting rapids and moving around huge boulders. We hit a calm area and our guide says "that's good". I thought he liked what we were doing and so I kept doing it. I'm not looking around because I am concentrating on what I'm doing. He says "that's good" again. I just give him more. Then he screams "STOP!" I stop and look around. We had been going in a circle because I was the only one paddling. Everyone was staring at me and I smiled sheepishly realizing what I had done.
On this same trip, we reserved a cabin in the mountains on our road trip. When we signed in, the man said that the door to the attic was locked because they did not want us going up there. During the night, I get up to go to the bathroom. I had to go through the kids room to get to the bathroom. The kids, Scott, Jerry and Jennifer were kneeling on the bed and were intensely listening for something. I stopped and asked them what was going on. They said there was someone in the attic and they were scared. Then there was a whoosh sound and they said, "Did you hear that?!" I did. I just didn't think it was an evil thing. So I stayed there listening for it again and eventually found this electric scent atomizer and showed them. I was trying to get them back to sleep. They did lay down. The next morning Paul, who slept very well suggested we stay there another night. "NO," they said in unison. They had little sleep that night. So that was the end of the spooky cabin.
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This is an excellent article on what it means to "hold space". I think this is why I feel the hospice I worked for was so special. We worked with patients and families of many different beliefs and we went with them on their journeys. We never took over the roles that were theirs.
By the way, I continue to make my smoothies with fruits and veggies. It is never quite the same day to day. I have to admit it looks yucky to me, but it tastes great and is easy to make. I put it in an opaque container, so I don't have to look at it. I add ice to make it frothy. Refreshing!
That's it for the week. Lots going on this next week including Helping One Woman dinner and seeing a pain management doctor. I hope you have a great week. See you next Sunday. Rachel.
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