I had my last class with Norma Neil (I believe I messed her name when mentioned earlier). Did another tree, but I included the plants around it, but left the building out behind it. Norma said she would have other classes in May and June. I hope to sign up for them. I have found them to be very therapeutic.
I had a scary incident I believe on Tuesday night. Around 3 am, there was a loud rap (3 of them) on my front door. Very unnerving. No one called out, so I can't imagine it was someone I knew. No one said they were having any problem so I wouldn't answer the door. It took me a while to calm down and go back to sleep. I have an alarm now because a friend said that as single women we needed to protect ourselves. After that incident, I'm glad I did it. I saw the next day there was a homicide one street over and up about 9 or 10 blocks. No idea if they are related, but when something like this happens, it is hard to avoid seeing possible relationships.
After my art class, while driving home, Michelle Singletary who works for The Washington Post as the finance columnist spoke on Hear and Now an NPR program about preparing for your death. Her mother was in the hospital hanging on to life after being in a horrific fire. She was unconscious and her daughter was trying to take care of her affairs. Her mother was uncomfortable doing this. As a result, family had conflicts on what they should do and this has created even more stress than what they would be dealing with if it was only her health. So I think it is important to get these things down and share them with people you trust. By the way, it will not always be family, and that is okay. Make sure you do an Advanced Directive. This says who is going to make the health care decisions when you can't. Talk to them about what you want also so they have a clear idea of what to do. Hospitals have these forms, but you can download them from the internet.or buy at a local stationary store. They cannot advise you as to what to get, but if you are comfortable with this, you'll find what you want. If you have the money, the best idea is to see an attorney, because you also need to do a will - who will get what. If you don't specifically state this, the state you live in will decide, AND, much of whatever assets you have can be eaten by attorneys fees rather than it doing to those you desire to have it. You need to pick someone to be the executor of your estate. This is the one who will be responsible to making sure that your wishes are followed. Talk to them to make sure they are willing to take on this task. Not all states recognize common law marriage. California does not. Keep this in mind if this person is important to you and you want to protect them. I have also taken care of most of my funeral expenses because Paul and I had not discussed this. He was uncomfortable with this subject too. It will not cover everything like obituary, flowers, someone speaking, etc. But I have taken care of the most costly parts. Financial Power of Attorney is for while you are still alive but not competent to take care of you bills, etc. My bank would not accept this so I spoke with a friend and asked if she would be willing to play this role when the time came. She agreed and we went to the bank together and took care of this. Now there is one thing I have not taken care of and that is a Letter of Instruction. This states where everything is, what are the passwords to deal with whatever you have on line, what you want done at the funeral and who to contact and how to contact them. My grandson Billy Lane was so worried about offending me by asking questions and I realized he would need to know and had a right to know. So this is the task I have before me and I will be working on it.
I had the Herceptin on Friday morning. I was told to take a Zyrtec and two Tylenol before coming in. I did. I felt tired, but I don't think it was from lack of sleep. My blood pressure rose a little. I was going to go to Art for Healing to work on my art, but I laid down instead. I also really got very cold and when I got under the covers it wouldn't warm me enough, so I climbed into a bath with bath salts. My body warmed up and then i crawled back in bed. Leaving the house was by my garage to go to dinner so I wore a coat thinking it was chilly. It wasn't.
My good friend Janet Seinturier and I met for dinner at The Mark. Very pleasant, the food was good, but it is a very, very loud place. That is a little hard. I had decided to use Valet parking because I have had more back issues this week. As we are standing there, the band was playing some music and I was making "moves" to it. A couple of young women eating outside (yes it was warm enough) started laughing at me. I told them my kids were embarrassed by my dancing, but my grand kids were not. I had a daughter-in-law take pictures when I was dancing to shame me when I would see them. I told her I don't shame so easily. Dancing makes me feel good.
I picked up a couple of things I'd like to share. One was "5 Regrets of the Dying". It has to do with living while you are hear. It's a good lesson. It is from lifebuzz.com. It was compiled by Bronnie Ware while she was working in palliative care.
5 Regrets of the Dying
And the second one is an audio recording of a man interviewing doctors and their thoughts on end of life treatment. I worked in hospitals for almost 17 years so I saw what happened to people and it definitely gives me pause in my thinking about having these things done to me. It is worth listening to. I saw this on Upworthy. Rollie Williams did the interviewing for Radiolab.
The Way Doctors Think About Death is Pretty Different From The Way Their Patients Do
I worked in hospitals for over 17 years as a social worker and responded to all codes (what they call it when someone stops breathing). Most of these were rough on the patient. I had decided I didn't want this. Now I waffle on this, but I think there will come a time that I will say "no" again. My role was support to family and friends and often times calling them when this happened if they weren't around. Very tough.
Okay, I think that is enough. I'll see you next Sunday. Thanks for reading. Rachel
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