Forest Falls

My niece Kerri Buttler shared this article "Everything Doesn't Happen for a Reason",  wanting my opinion. She's a very loving person.  For herself, she feels there must be a meaning for her suffering.  I don't  agree with this for all situations.  I was horrified with people who would say to me "it was meant to be", "you'll grow from this"," you must be stronger", etc.   I was offended by this.  I felt it was making light of my pain. I do understand some of why people say this besides actually believing this and/or they don't know what else to say. But, it meant so much more when someone was willing to just be with me. I know it is uncomfortable, but that is what I needed. I wouldn't want anyone to feel guilty because they weren't doing it right.  And, yes, I did grow in time from what happened to me. I don't think I was better that someone else that I did this. I think I just had the right type of support that allowed that to happen. It is a very heavy burden to put on someone that they were responsible for what happened.  In their own process of grieving, they may come to this if it makes sense to him or her. But, I do not want to hear from someone about what I should do, be or feel. I think it is presumptuous of others to do this.

Here is the article written by Tim Lawrence.  It is well written and thoughtful. 

http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2015/10/19/everything-doesnt-happen-for-a-reason

If you are interested in other articles Tim Lawrence has written or to know more about him, go here:  http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/                                                 

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Last Sunday, my daughter Shelley and I went to my niece Shannon's and her husband Patrick's home in Forest Falls.  It was about a 3 1/2 hour drive.  Shannon's mom Kerri, also my niece, was visiting and I had not seen her for several years. It was wonderful seeing her and Shannon. Shannon was recovering from a punctured lung which happened when the chair she was in flipped backward. I think it was good that Kerri was here, though she was also very limited because of physical disabilities. They had one restaurant, Mexican, a favorite on the West Coast which was quite good and reasonably priced.  Shannon and Patrick's home has a beautiful view of the mountain and a waterfall from their backyard.  So here are a few pictures from that trip. I'm so pleased that Shannon's family is doing well.  I'm hoping that Kerri and her husband will consider moving back to California (from Washington).  There wouldn't be "years" between visits.  Kerri is exploring how they could move to Forest Falls too.

Shelley and Me

Kerri, Shannon, Kaleb and Shelley

Kerri, Shannon and Shelley- The Cousins

Kerri, Me and Shelley

Patrick, Shannon and Kerri
At the Local Mexican Restaurant

Shelley went on a walk the next morning and took some beautiful pictures.  She has really become a very good photographer!  The first picture is of the waterfall behind their home.  Somewhat dry, but it has run heavily when we had quite a bit of rain recently. 

There was no art class this week, but I did work on my friend Janet's dog Poopy. She doesn't want any white on his eye. My reason for the white was reflection, so I made it much less. And my cat Pepper needs the hair blended more. What you would see is all black except for above the lip and the triangle under her chin. The rest is light reflection, but it doesn't quite look like that.  So more work there too.

Poopy
Attempting to get the reflection in his eyes

Pepper
Worked on the shading more.

Poopy in another pose.
More reflection in his eyes.

I got together with my friend Janet at Mexicali's. While there, she invited me to a performance her granddaughter Hannah was in.  It was The Bakersfield College Choir and Chamber Singers, along with Centennial High Chamber Singers and the Marvin Ramey's Experience Dance Studio. The title of the performance was Haunted Melodies. Excellent singing with very complicated riffs in some of the songs. The staging, decorations and the scary voices were nice touches. There were so many people there that many were standing in the aisles to see when all the seats were taken. But the Fire Marshall came and made them leave. I think this is a new theater, but it is fairly small.  The price was right. It was a donation. They asked for $10 for general admission, and $5 for students, staff and seniors. Though there were some people with no money and they got in. That is how a donation works.  I had looked up events at Bakersfield College and this was not listed.  I want to be informed of events to decide if my friends and I would like to go.  I'm not sure where to look.  If anyone knows, please inform me.  I would appreciate it.

My neighbor Celeste gave me the menu for the Renegade Room at Bakersfield College. They have a cooking school and they prepare lunch one day a week and dinner two nights a week. She said the food was excellent and wanted me to go with her one time. The date she picked I could not do, but I found another day that worked. I called in reservations for three to include Janet. Celeste said most of the spots were taken, so hopefully what day I selected works. I could only leave a message, but if there is a problem, I assume they will call.   They have been here for years.  I can't say why I've never gone.  I really look forward to this.

I got a call from the Bakersfield Concert Association which is soliciting more membership and donations.  My friend Janet joined and I gave a donation.  I hope others consider joining.  It really would be a shame if this group folded.  They have brought wonderful concerts to us.  I actually feel that a lot more people would like this if they heard it.  If  you are interested in becoming a member which is eight concerts a year for $80, or, giving a donation, go here:

http://www.bakersfieldcca.org

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This is a good article about end-of-life treatment from the Harvard Medical School Healthbeat.  They don't charge for things like this they send as an email.  They have many articles that go into much more depth if you are interested.  They charge around $20 or so if you order these.  Go here to see what they have.

http://www.health.harvard.edu

5 commonly held myths about end-of-life issues Some people don't have a health care power of attorney or living will because they don't realize how important these documents are. Others worry that such documents mean they are signing their lives away. Not so. These powerful documents make sure that you get the treatment you would want for yourself if you couldn't communicate your wishes. Here are a few myths that shouldn't get in the way of creating a health care power of attorney or living will: Myth: More care is always better. Truth: Not necessarily. Sometimes more care prolongs the dying process without respect for quality of life or comfort. It's important to know what interventions are truly important. It's often impossible to know that in advance. That's where the advice of a health care team is invaluable. Myth: Refusing life support invalidates your life insurance, because you are committing suicide. Truth: Refusing life support does not mean that you are committing suicide. Instead, the underlying medical problem is considered to be the cause of death. Myth: If medical treatment is started, it cannot be stopped. Truth: Not starting a medical treatment and stopping a treatment are the same in the eyes of the law. So you or your health care agent can approve a treatment for a trial period that you think may be helpful, without any fear that you can't change your mind later. However, be aware that stopping treatment can be more emotionally difficult than not starting it in the first place. Myth: If you refuse life-extending treatments, you're refusing all treatments. Truth: No matter what treatments you refuse, you should still expect to receive any other care you need or want — especially the pain and symptom management sometimes called intensive comfort care. Myth: Stopping or refusing artificial nutrition and hydration causes pain for someone who is dying. Truth: Unlike keeping food or water from a healthy person, for someone who is dying, declining artificial nutrition or intravenous hydration does not cause pain. For more on setting goals for end-of-life care and avoiding common pitfalls, buy Living Wills, a Special Health Report from Harvard Medical School. .................................. I actually had down-time even with all this.  I need to do that because I crash and have to rest.  I took full advantage of that.  This was a good week.  I hope yours went well too.  I will see you next Sunday.      Rachel