Here are the top five regrets of the dying. I think most have to do it this way. We are in a particular place that allows us to look at life differently than when death is not on our mind as imminently. It doesn't make sense to be thinking about death and dying when you are young and have other experiences necessary for life.
This week was the anniversary of Paul's and my marriage. It wasn't too bad because I was busy that day in a good way. I feel for my friend Vicki who is grieving the loss of her husband the previous week. It is very painful. I find it best to acknowledge the pain and get the support I need. Her pain makes me feel tears when I think of all the people who have been so important to us who are no longer here.
At art class Carol was showing me how to show water around rocks. I worked on a waterfall. It is so interesting watching how she does it. I will continue working on picture with rocks and water.
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| Three Level Waterfall |
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| More Detail on Rocks |
Barbara and I went to see Jason Coleman, the grandson of Floyd Cramer through the Bakersfield Concert Association. He played his music in the style of his grandfather which included the "slip note", which was a unique, distinctive touch his grandfather used. Here is a recent picture of Jason and a picture of Floyd Cramer with Jason when he was a child. This was a good concert. He was here two years ago and was well received then.
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| Jason Coleman |
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| Jason with his Grandfather Floyd Cramer |
The Bakersfield Concert Association will move their concerts to Harvey Auditorium. They will be at 2:30 on Sunday's so people will be able to get home before dark if they desire. There will be 5 concerts this next season and the cost will be $75 if you buy a season ticket. Otherwise it is $35 per concert. Of course it is a great deal when you buy the series and doing it in the afternoon makes it so much better for people who cannot handle late evenings. I really look forward to it.
We went to a Chinese restaurant called Ching Yen on Columbus. Barbara is vegan and they are willing to make her vegan dishes which are delicious. The owner also gave us cups of tea she makes for herself which had ginger as the base. Very good! This restaurant consistently gets high ratings!
I had chemotherapy this week. Recently, I have been hearing my heart beat when I lie down to sleep. There is a squeakiness when it beats. My nurse told me to contact my primary doctor to see if something needs to be done. So I will see her the first week in May. And, I will have a MUGA scan tomorrow which measures the flow of blood through my heart. I also am feeling tired again like I had experienced before. Maybe they are related. I feel I could sleep a lot!
My friend Janet also is grieving the loss of her husband four years ago. It doesn't feel that long ago. I invited Janet over for a lamb stew dinner over noodles with a unique coleslaw and pears poached in wine for dessert. She stayed overnight because today is the anniversary of Ron's death. The anniversary of Paul's death is at the end of the month.
As usual, I made way too much food. The lamb stew was very good. Janet and I read the directions of the Instant Pot I bought through Amazon. What is interesting with this food appliance is that it does so many cooking functions like sauté, slow cook and steam. So we sautéed and then used the pressure cooker element for 15 minutes. It had few ingredients and turned out very tasty and tender. I got it because my friend Barbara got one and she cooks beans and vegan soups and stews in just minutes which are very tasty.
So we were too full and cooked up the pears in the morning. Delicious! Then we went to the cemetery to visit Ron's grave. I'll be back to visit Paul in a couple of weeks which is near Ron. It will be the 9th anniversary of his death. It seems hard to believe it was that long ago. In many ways it feels almost like yesterday though I am not as emotionally wiped out as when it happened.
My refrigerator has gone out of whack. It started yesterday making a grinding noise and then continuing to emit a loud buzz. It might be time to get another refrigerator, though I remember when these appliances lasted years and years and years. It is too bad they don't make them to last like they used to. But, I think that is intentional to keep us regular customers.
So April is rough but it is leveled out with the birthday of my step-mother Kate and my brother Ben, who are two people very important to me. Kate and I went in together to send Ben tamales. Ben loves Mexican food. When he comes out here to visit, he can go to a Mexican restaurant at every meal and he would not tire of it. Kate and i will get together at the beginning of May. We always have a good visit so I look forward to it. I also try to be involved in activities to keep the tough times in perspective. I could not have possibly done this when Paul died as my friends couldn't either at the time of their husbands' deaths. It is just too close and painful. As time goes on, we integrate these deaths into who we are and it is not the same acute pain as when it just happened.
Here are a couple more photographs of our trip to The Tejon Ranch Conservancy. The first one Shelley my daughter took using my iPhone which has a panorama setting and the second I took of a herd of deer that wanted to keep their distance from us.
So that is my week. I hope your week went well and I will see you next Sunday.
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