Searching My Roots

Last Sunday afternoon my friend Barbara and my daughter Shelley came over for Super Bowl. The emphasis was on eating and talking. We enjoyed  some of the ads for creativity but there was little of that in our estimation. The weather was wonderfully mild and we had the back door open for some outside air. It was around 72 degrees F. The one dish Barbara made that I really enjoyed was an African Soul Soup. This was vegan and very tasty. The vegetable broth had peanut butter in and there were chickpeas, fresh spinach along with onion, garlic and tomatoes. The spices were perfect and Barbara sprinkled dried peanuts on top of the prepared soup. I've seen my friends modify this dish using the same broth and using other veggies. My friend Annemarie made a thicker version and called it a stew with different vegetables. So tasty!  It is a type of comfort food.  She also made a very tasty peach sherbet using coconut milk. She made it just before we ate it and it only took her a few minutes.   I made a hummus, but it was mediocre. This was a vegan recipe with no oil added. Also, I didn't get it smooth enough. 

Me, My Daughter Shelley and My Friend Barbara

I had chemotherapy this week and I also saw my Oncologist Dr. Tun. He said all my lab numbers and the results of my last MUGA scan all look good. He stated I would now have a MUGA scan every four months instead of three. That s a god sign  that I am stable. How nice!  Next one will be in April.  Chemotherapy was non-eventful which is always good.

My friends Janet and Barbara and I had dinner at Uricchio's, a fine Italian restaurant before the Bakersfield Concert Associations presentation of Kevin Johnson, a ventriloquist, comedian and magician. His show was so funny that I could hardly catch my breath before the next line came. We all enjoyed it.  I probably would not have tried to go see a ventriloquist so having it as a part of a concert series is great. It was already paid for last year by me.  It was great for all ages!

Kevin Johnson and His Birds

Kevin Johnson and His Birds

Kevin Johnson with his Curmudgeon

My friend Mike has put so much effort into my family tree. It has been amazing. My cousin Barrie got me in contact with a second cousin Simy who lives in New York. She sent me detailed information on her family. I sent it on to my friend Mike to add to my family tree that part that fit. I then did a review of mine and sent it to her. Our lives are so different. It was fascinating to read what that part of the family did. One of their family members was ill and they would not let him into the United States through Ellis Island. So the brothers were split up. They went on to Argentina. I had heard  about this part of the family from my cousin Barrie when his wife made a business trip to Argentina and met extended family while there. 

I wrote up my relationships like she had done hers and emailed it. I also sent a lot of pictures with emphasis on the part of the family she is related to.  Below are some of the pictures I sent to Simy.  Mike then did some more connecting on the other side of the family (my mother) and found some fascinating connections  Simy is Orthodox  Jewish.  My family is loosely Jewish.  In fact some would say we are not Jewish because this  it must come through the mother's side and mine comes by way of my father. I don't care. I am not denying my Jewish heritage however I get it.    I personally like all the differences.  So below are just a few of the family Gamarnick.  We are all a part of the family tree.  Our name was changed to Gaman when my father and his brothers were children.  The family in Argentina also had a name change to Armarnik when they entered that country.

My Father's Parents from the Old Country - Russia and Romania

A picture of me taken 23 years ago at a studio

My Father George and brother Ben visiting me just before
my mother died 1991

Simy was very nice. She admitted that in the picture of her family, she and her two oldest daughters were wearing wigs because they must cover their heads when they are married. She told me her head was shaved and that the sect she is in, married women do this.  She said that I looked like pictures she has of her father's sister.   I asked if she could send me a picture of her grandfather which is my grandfather's brother.  I'd also like to get a picture of her aunt. She also said there were other siblings of our grandfathers. She doesn't know who and I don't know who.      I'll ask other family if they know any of them. I think she is disappointed that I am not religious like her. And, I'm not sure that anyone else on my side of the family are as conservative religiously like her and her family. She thinks it was probably good that Ellis Island turned her family member away because he was sick.  She feels very fortunate for her strong beliefs.  I think the antisemitism in Argentina was so strong that it made their community stronger. 

She told me she was unable to give me any more dates of what she sent to me but did say there was an article of someone in the family in Argentina.  I asked why there were two names for each person and she said you could not use your Jewish name in Argentina because it was dangerous. They maintained their religious beliefs despite the difficulty in doing it there.  

Mike also found information on my mother's side in New York for those who were Dutch. Mike went to school there and was fascinated he was right in the middle of all of it. He found who he believes is an ancestor of mine from the 1700's also named  Rachel, but not Jewish. My grandfather had done a family tree that takes us back to Stephen Hopkins who came over on the Mayflower. I'll get it copied and send it to Mike when I find it.  I know I have it somewhere!   This is so mind-blowing!

My art teacher sent me an email. She is off having had a knee replacement and now getting physical therapy. She though I had come a long way especially with the mane  on the horse that I showed earlier.  She told me to work on the eyes and nostrils.  I asked for her feedback on the squirrel and said I wanted to draw another one which I did this week.   So next week I'll work more on the portrait of the horse to get the eyes and nostrils better.  Besides, my friend Martha who moved to the country and now knows that squirrels can cause a lot of problems by digging holes.  Then the horse steps in them and breaks a leg.  That is not good, because then they need to put the horse down!

My Squirrel

Charlie and Snoopy

That was my week.  Know that I read a lot. I don't include all of that time in writing about what the week was like. Just know it is a given in my life and very important. As I said last week I finished the Qur'an and I have read about a third of The Bible (on a Kindle). My plan is to read some other books like this when I finish this.   So far, lots of violence, but the stories are interesting.   I hope your week went well and you have a great week coming up.  See you next Sunday.                  Rachel 

Thanksgiving Time, My Favorite Holiday

At class with Carol, she felt my pictures of Barbara's dog Patti and the picture of my cat Pepper were ready for framing. I spoke with Toni, who does framing at the Bakersfield Art Center about what I wanted. It will have a white matte with a thin line of black next to the picture. The frame will be in a simple black. She said they would be ready for Christmas. It will run about $40 per picture.   I think that is reasonable.  Carol thought the deer I did was pretty good. She felt it looked more relaxed than most of my pictures. I would agree with her. She had some suggestions for improving my picture which I will incorporate in my work. We are starting on a horse. She has encouraged me and other students to consider the skeleton which makes a big difference in getting the right form and mass.  So that is the first thing we worked on. It helps a lot. 

My deer again

First Attempt at Contour Drawing of Horse

Thanksgiving went well.  There were 12 of us, including my son Jerry.   I hadn't seen him for over a year.   My granddaughter Kayla helped me getting last things straightened and getting the food on.  I planned the meat to cook at 15 minutes per pound. Since last year the turkey was dry,  Shelley thought we should check it a half hour earlier than that and it was done. It had a button which had popped.  Moist and delicious. The dishes were all tasty and Shelley made stuffed mushrooms and a delicious pumpkin cheese cake!  Devin made a cranberry relish we made last year. It was changed a little but was delicious!  We put it over cream cheese and had different crackers to put it on.   I told Devin he should call this his signature dish and offer to make it for gatherings.  It is good and easy to make.   Everybody was relaxed and it was a very pleasant gathering.

Granddaughter Kayla, Daughter Shelley, Daughter Jennifer,
and Granddaughter Crystal

Crystal and Lorence

Shelley and  her daughter Alyssa

Crystal and  and her Aunt Shelley

Shelley with two of her children Heather and Kevin 

Kevin with his mom Shelley

Shelley and Jennifer did the dishes that evening. The next morning I went from one task after another. When I got to the refrigerator, I saw it was time to change the water filter. So I turned it to remove it, and water squirted everywhere!  I ran to get towels and couldn't screw the filter back in. Ugh. I called Shelley and told her what was happening. I turned the water off to the house.  So we went to get another filter. I had misplaced my wallet so we used Shelley's card. Shelley was able to get the new filter on. She got my house cleaned up. We went to get money so I could pay her and the ATM machine would not let me take out what I requested even though there was enough money. I requested less and then it gave me the money.   I couldn't check my savings account though it had been linked. So now I'll have to go to the bank and find out was going on. 

Janet and I went to Mexicali's.  We exchanged Thanksgiving stories. Ha! What a fine talk!  Both of our stories would work well for a standup comedian.  We were both laughing so much. And then this woman a generation older than us said she thought it was neat to see mother (me) and daughter (Janet) out together. Janet said we were very good friends. I told her I was the younger one by three years.  I think she was embarrassed, but we got a kick out of it!

Here are recent pictures of my great grandsons Conner and Kason.  I think they look so much alike, except Conner is bigger than Kason.

Conner

Kason

This woman who calls herself One Fit Widow shared a blog written by Family Lives On Foundation. They are a nonprofit organization that depends on donations.  This is to all kids who have lost a parent. It is very good!  If it doesn't fit you, share it with someone who might benefit.  

https://www.facebook.com/OneFitWidow/posts/669353633206906

So that is it for my week.  I have a couple of nice events this next week.  I didn't contact the doctor yet about my hip.  I'll call for an appointment tomorrow.  It continues to hurt.  Two of my friends suggest it might be bursitis.  Ugh!  It is amazing how much happens when you get older.  Despite the medical issues, I love the other parts of my life.  It makes it worth going on.  By the way, my brother and cousin said they were not interested in what I eat.  I don't blame them, but local people might want to try the restaurants I have gone to.  Believe me, many wouldn't try them because they sound too different.  When I finally get them there, they are pleased.  So sorry about the food reviews, just breeze over those parts.  I appreciate you reading.  I hope your week went well and your next week is as good or better.  Talk to you next Sunday.             Rachel

The Start of a New Year

So seeing everybody posting about the weather and the temperature where they live, maybe our weather was temperate, in a relative sort of way.

Kayla didn't get the books I got her at Christmas.  I found them in my trunk and let her know I had them. I suggested lunch at Loma Linda and while there, we decided to go to The Outlets at Tejon. We invited Devin, but he didn't have dry clothes to wear and was still in the shower when we went to pick him up.  We'll go another day when the weather is pleasant and will eat lunch there so Devin can join us then.    It had been raining all day and was in the high 30's to the low 40's.  Kayla wore a hoodie sweatshirt and refused to take an umbrella. I wore an oversized raincoat almost to my feet, heavy socks, a wool scarf, cap and umbrella - it shows you the difference in age. She looked cute, but was miserable. I looked substantial but was comfortably warm and dry. The rain stopped when we got back to Bakersfield. I don't know if there are any great deals at the outlets.   It was attractive, but we walked outside to go to each store. The cold rainy weather made an indoor mall seem much more appealing.  We saw a dusting of snow on the low foothills, but there was a traffic sign warning of snow on the summit. Since most of us Californians have little experience with driving in the snow, I was really glad we weren't going that way.

Shelley made me a beautiful picture (a stained glass look) for Christmas. It is beautiful. I put it on my back sliding door to the patio. I love it!   She used a black foam cutting it with an exacto knife and gluing the tissue paper on with rubber cement. 

.

This picture was taken in the evening

This picture taken during the day

New Years Eve Day, I had chemo first thing in the morning. Afterwards,  I had Occupational Therapy. I bought a few snacks for the rest of the day and evening. I made myself an Irish Coffee. It seemed fitting with it being so cold, a low of 30 and a high of 45. I decided to read. I had gotten my granddaughter books she was interested in so I started The Maze Runner to understand what she was interested in. I settled into bed with layers of blankets, several pillows and my book. This is really appealing to me.   Lots of fireworks set off at midnight and/or maybe gunshots.   The gunshots are scary to me.   My kitties stayed on the bed and didn't get rattled from all the banging.  

I woke up New Years Day morning to Pepper cleaning one  spot on my scalp. When I thought she was about to remove skin I got up, made coffee and checked posts. As I looked down I realize my pajama top is on backwards. The back is at the front!  Who does this?!  It doesn't even feel right!  Then I remember a couple of months back ( so it isn't from eating), that my underwear felt sooo tight.  I'm thinking I have put on an incredible amount  of weight over night.  It turned out I was wearing my hipster underwear with one leg at the waist. No wonder it was too tight!  Ugh!  I know I've done things like this before, but I wonder if it is more often.  At least when I notice it, I know it isn't what should be!

So on New Years Day Barbara and I ate at the Kabob House on White Lane. They have many meat dishes, but we were wanting non-meat. We shared a plate of rice and grilled vegetables. We also got four appetizers -Dolmades, eggplant dip, hummus and cucumber with yoghurt and pita bread. It was more than enough though we both were quite hungry. They also had a Greek salad and another salad of tomatoes, cucumber and onion that we did not get. It was all DELICIOUS!  This is a Persian restaurant.  It was informal, tastier and healthier than any fast food by far. There is no alcohol. Don't let that stop you if you drink. Go to the bar at the Mexican restaurant next door afterwards or before. It was fabulous food. We didn't limit ourselves and it came to $25 for both of us. This was lunch. Dinner would be more expensive and the serving would be larger.   As we were leaving, we noted a new market called Fresh Foods International Marketplace.   It is a market that has some of the things that any market would have, but also foods that are not typical here.  Great bakery, fish and meat, fresh foods, frozen and canned of other nationalities.  Having traveled, I love this!  They have Turkish Delight!  You can find them on line at   www.freshfoodsmarkets.com    Here is the address, phone and hours.  The market was closed New Years Day.

4800 White Lane 
Bakersfield 
CA 93309 
Tel : (661) 836-8090
Store Hours : 7 Days a Week.9 am - 9 pm

We then went to The Maya and saw Wild. I loved it. Actually I was getting hysterical when our heroine was trying to put on her backpack which was really heavy. I could see me doing this.  It was hard to control laughing.  It finally broke through. I always think I need more than I do. My friend Barbara and I were laughing afterwards at the main character trying to light her stove and set up her tent. We had similar problems when we were camping. If language or sexual situations are a problem to see on the big screen, you may not like it.  She was responding to the loss of her mom and this three month hike was a coming to terms with the loss of her mom and thinking about what was important to her.  I don't think I would have been brave enough to do this hike as a woman alone (it's based on a true story).  But, I felt a connection because of her loss and coming to terms with it.  As Kate (my step-mom)  and I talked about it, unless someone has gone through this, they would not understand it the same way as actually going through it, though empathy goes a long way! 

I sent a text message to my brother-in-law Brian, my husband's brother, wishing him a happy birthday. He called back. It has been a long time since we spoke. So he will come for a weekend in February. I passed the word to local family. Maybe we'll do a barbecue.  I really look forward to seeing him. 

And, a young woman Ambure contacted me on Facebook. She wanted to know how we were related. I told her I was an in-law, married to her grandmother's brother. I gave her information on my memories of her grandmother and about my husband.  Brian said he would call her the next day. I let Shelley know so she could call Ambure also. 

Went to lunch with Barbara, Jacquie and her daughter Debra to Fresh Choice Noodle Bar. We all got different dishes and all of us loved what we got.  Then we saw Into The Woods. It was a good musical. Enjoyed it very much. I saw this musical done locally a few months ago at The Empty Space. That was very good too. 

I got a toy for my cats called Cat's Meow. This was the first day I had it up and they were quite curious about it.

Daisy and Pepper playing with the Cat's Meow

Though the holidays were fine, I'm glad they're over. I feel there is pressure to be happy. And though I really felt fine, I don't want the pressure.  What if I blow it?   I'm not sure what that would mean for me, but it is hard to know what people want and I also worry if it is enough.  Plus, I think it is too costly, though I do agree with giving books.  If we could just get together for a great meal and the company. That is what I like. 

Here is a  picture of my great-grandson Conner. He was just diagnosed with asthma. His parents were told this will be a life long issue for Conner.   This of course causes anxiety, but they have insurance and there is treatment available.

Conner has a great smile!

Barbara Long's mother died a year ago today.  I know anniversaries of the death of someone we love is painful.  The getting together with friends, lunch and movie helped yesterday.  I want her to know I'm thinking of her today.

That is it this week.  I'm reading about personal essays and sharing thoughts because I would like to do more of that and less of the diary.  Anyone have thoughts on this, I would appreciate it.  I will tell you that if I didn't do this as a blog, I would probably find excuses not to write.  I think the writing has been very helpful to me.  I would like to make it more helpful to you.  I'm also working on what I want to share at Helping One Woman on January 20th.  That will definitely be more about my thoughts about what I'm going through and what I have learned in going through this.  See you next Sunday.            Rachel