Friends Take the Train Down

My grandson Billy was going to come Monday to put my stationary bike together. But couldn't make it.  My daughter Shelley came by and did it and it didn't take much time. I was so impressed at how fast she did it!  I think it is her skills in putting medical equipment together which made her so comfortable in doing this!  Then I told her I got a digital frame for myself to just put my art on. For some reason, I couldn't figure out how to put it on a thumb drive that came with it. She figured it out and showed me. So now I'm ready to upload all my art.   I think this is such a good idea!  I put a little bit of it on. Hopefully I get this done in the not too distant future.

We had some thunder, lightening and rain this week as we had also last week.  It is strange for us because rarely do we have weather like this in summer.  It has been quite humid which isn't typical here.  Usually it is a dry heat which is easier to take than with humidity.  It is already becoming drier.  

This weekend, two of my friends who I used to work with, Annemarie and Lynette came for one night.  We went to Mama Roomba because I used to rave about this place when I went to work that they wanted to try it out.  They took the train rather than drive the two hour trip up and back which worked out well.  That was Lynette's first time on the train.  Most of the trip was okay except for a woman who seemed homeless with her toddler seemed to stick by Lynette.  Annemarie caught the same train not quite an hour after Lynette got on.  Lynette brought cheese ands crackers and her husband Simon sent a very nice red wine along with Lynette.  What a treat!  I went to Trader Joe's and picked up bagels, cream cheese, lox, tomatoes, sweet onion and capers for breakfast.  I also got orange juice and a good champagne to have Mimosas.  Annemarie brought a chocolate cream mouse, very rich and delicious.  So I'm sure you have noticed here as well as my other posts, I really talk about food.  Yes I do.  If it is tasty, it is really a treat and I love to socialize around eating.  I know that some people don't think that is a good idea, but I have fond memories of eating and talking around the dinner table.  That was always a special time for me.

I have a friend Victor who is writing a book.  We met this week at Chef's Choice Noodle Bar where he gave me the  first 30 pages of his book.  I have read half of it and I need to go over it again.  He has a nice readable style.  So we are thinking we would get together every 3rd or 4th week with a new chapter to go over.  I think this could be a very good book!

I was supposed to go to a Helping One Woman's dinner, but, I started nodding off in the living room about an hour before going.  Since this has been happening fairly frequently, I didn't think I could stay awake and I was worried driving for one and a half hours.  This is the first dinner I have missed since joining this group.  I'm sorry I missed it, but I was really worried about the drive.

I had a great class with Carol Bradshaw.  What we did was each work on painting a day lily.  This was very helpful.  I would watch her and do my strokes right afterwards.  I have not finished it and will post it next week.  I don't have a class this Tuesday which was an excuse not to rush on this.

So this was a relatively slow week and I think I needed that.  I need to work in more rest to do the bigger things.  I have a few things going on next week and expect that to enjoy the bigger event, I will need to rest up more before  I go.  I really hope you have a great week.  I will see you next Sunday, though it may be in the evening since I will have a rather long drive back.            Rachel

Getting Older but I Used to Draw at a Preschool Level

Tuesday was my birthday.  I am older now than my mother and husband were when they died.  I came off rather down in my last blog. I was feeling that this exhaustion might be more meaningful of end of life issues and felt overwhelmed at this thought.  Many friends who have medical training assured me I was not dying yet. I don’t usually feel so down.  I’m aware that this is going to happen, but I stay busy with family and friends and activities I really like.  So, it was strange to me getting this way.

………………

I found a paper that I had drawn on before starting my art class in September 2013.  I really had no sense of art and had not tried.  I took the class since I knew that I would not be able to return to work with my medical problems and I seemed to be around a lot of people who had artistic skills.  I felt strange when I was with them and did an art project as a group.  So getting back to this page (both sides), it is very primitive.  I did it for me because I was wondering if I would see a difference in what I did.  I showed my teacher at our last class and she said she recognized everything I drew.  She thought it was a great idea to save it.  She has had students who would get depressed feeling they had not improved in their art work.  She would have them look at earlier works of their drawing and it was obvious they had grown.  Her students would see this and relax about their growth.  So here are my drawings which don't even come to a kindergartener level.  Pretty bad!  But interesting to keep.  It is just a little over two years ago that I did this.  By the way, those are coffee stains on these papers.

Two  Daylilies

In my art class this week, I showed Carol my paintings.  She felt that they were not too bad.  I could crop them or do minor fixes to improve them.  Then we spent time working on drawing a Daylily.
The next class I will paint a Daylily.

So On my birthday I went with my friend Janet to a restaurant on the golf course she uses (Sundale) called La Foret.  This restaurant is open to the public.  I ordered a beef stroganoff.  It didn't taste the way I think of it, but it was good.  Janet got a chicken dish and gave me a taste.  Delish!

The day after my birthday I went with my friend Barbara to Chef's Choice Noodle Bar and then to see The Minions.  Good choice for lightweight entertainment.  I enjoyed it.  And, Noodle's is always good.

I was supposed to go to a birthday party for three of Billy's and Meagan's children, but I kept falling asleep.  I cancelled out and said that I would give the presents to Billy when he comes to put my stationary bicycle together which will be tomorrow.  It turned out to be way too heavy for me to handle.

My daughter Shelley and I went out for brunch at Anita's.  We get a chance to talk when we can have these outings.  Very nice.

So that is it for the week.  I hope your week goes well and I'll see you next Sunday.         Rachel

Periodical Struggles I Try to Deny

I met my friend Janet for a Margarita and a snack at Mexicali's.  She really pushed me saying I was not using the blood pressure cuff or the pulse oximeter because I was afraid of something.  I was irritated with her about doing this and asked that we not discuss it, but then I told her I was worried. I'm not ready to throw in the towel, but I get this sense that more things are going on.  She did not feel I was near death and felt that without checking those numbers regularly, I would have little to share with the doctor.  Her feeling was that it very likely could be an easy fix, but we haven't got to the problem area yet.  This actually was comforting to me. I have thought that when I hit the time of the dying process, I'll be okay about letting go.  This is the sense I got when seeing my mother, father and my husband Paul die. I also worked in hospice as a social worker.  When patients were this close to death, their concerns were about being pain free and seeing certain loved ones and perhaps letting go of emotional issues they might have with them. It is about comfort and I didn't think that was my issue yet.  Most of the time I feel just fine and then periodically, I feel very alone and somewhat frightened.  I feel better now.

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Last Sunday, late afternoon, my daughter Shelley, her son Kevin and my friend Barbara came over to watch a movie, Interstellar, which we never saw.  It came out in 2014. Though it is long, we all thought it was a very good movie. My friend Barbara recommended The Martian which will be coming to theaters soon. That too tied in a lot of science, so both use science as the base of their stories. I finished the book The Martian this week and look forward to the movie. 

At my art class with Carol Bradshaw, we talked about how hollyhocks grow and practiced drawing them.  We also worked on mingling colors  as opposed to mixing and painting with the combined colors with the idea to make that the background when doing a watercolor of the hollyhocks.  Carol invited me to come to her home in the mountains because she knows of many places to take pictures for my art work.  I went up there yesterday morning and spent the day there. We went to see waterfalls. Since the drought, the waterfalls were very little or trickles, but I learned a lot about composition and about layers, what is in front of what. So fascinating.  Carol also showed me where she would set up to paint or draw, where the water runs. Some of it so obvious, but really I never thought about it. So I have to say, my eyes saw so much more than I have in the past. I loved Carol's home. She has different projects going everywhere. In addition to drawing and painting, she quilts, does needle point, sewing. So much more than that. Her home once was around 800 square feet and it is about 3,000 square feet with her doing the planning all the way. I was so impressed. And, on top of that she made a wonderful soup with no meat which was so flavorful. She will give a copy at our class on Tuesday. Her dog, Sofie is such a sweetie!  She introduces me to her as a Aunt Rachel. When she meets people this way, she sees them as okay.  Next time I go up to Carol's we will look for barns.

Hollyhock with Mingled colors in Background
Definitely requires a Redo

Hollyhock with with Bud
I did not understand mingling colors, so it is painted.

Hollyhocks in pencil

Sofie knows me as Aunt Rachel

Very small water fall, but at least you get the idea

Water low but looked and sounded nice going around rocks.

A Leaf Caught Up by the Current

My Teacher and Friend Carol

I have been homebound most of the week. I continue to tire out quickly and sleep long hours.  My friend Barbara suggested I get a stationary bicycle and use at least 20 minutes a day. So I ordered an inexpensive one. I'm too anxious to go walking on my own, though Barbara said she would go with me sometimes to walk at the indoor mall.  The bike came and I will set it up in front of the television today.  I  have a friend Mimi who exercises this way but when she was trying to sell me on doing this two or three years ago, it seemed so unappealing. But now I'd rather do this than end up with diabetes.  Also she had it in her guest room.  I find that unappealing.  I need to have my mind on something else to do it.

This is a blog by Doreen Tapper going through treatment for breast cancer. She started a blog called The Middle of the Journey.  She shares how writing a blog helps her.  I feel the same. Read her story below.   You might want to sign up to follow her.

http://doreentapper.blogspot.com/2015/07/the-3-things-i-learned-from-blogging.html

This woman shares her request to others not to offer platitudes (like "give it time"). Though many of these sayings are true, it absolutely does not help the person grieving. They will come to this in their own time, but you saying that tells them you don't want to hear. That is the problem. That is what we need. We need to talk and cry and we need your comfort, like a hug.  So this is what she shared. It really is universal-  we all go through this.

http://thegrieftoolbox.com/article/pleasenomorewords

This next week I have a lot planned (so what else is new Rachel?!)  I do love that until the exhaustion takes over. I'm hoping getting on the stationary bike helps with this!  I hope you have the week you want and I'll see you next Sunday.                         Rachel

   

Wall is Done; Why Am I So Exhausted?!

The block wall is up and everything is cleaned up. On Monday, they shoveled all the dirt in front of the block wall and put it behind.  They did a good job cleaning up including sweeping my patio. Though it was expensive, I see it is well done and they used lots of re bar to reinforce this retaining wall.  Now we don't have to worry about the wall falling down.  It has also been very hot which would have made this job much harder to do. They started very early, like 6:00 AM and stopped 1:00 to 2:00 PM.

The new block wall

That day was also the day I went in to get a Cortisol Stimulation Test.  I was there about two hours as they did injections into an IV and removing blood. The results came through the next day. My cortisol level was okay. But, the word came back with a Pre-diabetic diagnosis. I hope that is the issue, because it is in my hands to control this mainly by diet and exercise. I have been anxious about walking because I have fallen and I could fall again. But I think I'm going to have to do this.  I'll just watch my feet.  I've been checking if I could get into a Silver Sneakers program, but I don't think Kaiser does this.  They were closed to these sorts of questions on Friday, so I will call on Monday.

I showed Carol Bradshaw my painting of the sunflowers. She loved it and had a small suggestion which I incorporated. The assignment this week was to draw Hollyhocks. One of the things Carol does is work on getting us (me) to see whatever we are working on, what are the elements of the subject and what they do.  I appreciate that and have come to understand better what I am looking at. 

Our Red Hat group met at the local ice cream parlor which is called Dewars. This is an annual tradition. It is well known even beyond the borders of Kern County. There was a good showing of our group. We don't meet in August. I look forward to seeing them in September. 

So for Independence Day, I went with my daughter Shelley and several of her family plus Crystal and Devin, Jennifer's children.  Their father brought them.  Crystal and Heather came with their boyfriends.   We had hot dogs and side dishes of baked beans and potatoes.  There were three carloads of us and we went up to Lake Isabella which is in the mountains where they did a fireworks display over the lake. They started a little after 9:30 pm and it was over about 10 pm.  It was enjoyable evening for all of us who went.

Marvin, Crystal and Devin's dad took the picture.
We are at Shelley's home ready to head up to the mountain.

Shelley and Me
It was much darker than this, but I suppose the flash gave the
sense of it being more daylight than it was

Kevin and Shelley

The rest of the group sat mostly in the back of Marvin's pickup truck

This is such a terrible rendering of the scene we saw!
The fireworks were very colorful followed with loud booms.
There were a couple of small brush fires on the small island on
the lake where the fireworks were being lit, but they had it under control.

A little later this afternoon Shelley and other family members plus my friend Barbara are coming over to watch the movie Interstellar.  It came out last year, but for some reason Barbara and I missed it.  I watched it On Demand through U-Verse.  I thought it was a fabulous movie and decided to purchase it, because I knew I'd want to watch it again.  In addition to that my  friend read the book The Martian and the movie version of this is coming out soon.  From Barbara's description, it sounded along the lines of Interstellar so I downloaded it to Kindle in addition to Audible.com so I can listen to it and read it.  Anyway, that is a great story too, so I think I'll be buying the movie when it comes out.  It has a lot of science in it, like Interstellar, so I knew I'd like it.   We are going to have popcorn, iced tea or lemonade as our snacks during the movie.  

Still sleeping a lot.  I had dinner with my friend Janet who talked me into getting a blood pressure cuff and a pulse/oxymeter reader.  When she asks me what were the results, I kept forgetting when I felt knocked out, and when I felt okay, I didn't see the reason for checking.  Anyway, I'm going to have to start charting it.  She said, "how can they determine what is going on if you can't let them know when it happens and what are the results.  So this next week, I'll start charting this.

Another full week, despite sleeping a lot too.  I hope your week is going well.  I'll see you next Sunday!                   Rachel

And the Wall Came Tumbling Down

I thought my sleep issue would have been corrected with getting my blood pressure in normal range. But that was not the case. On Wednesday after lunch with a friend, I came home feeling overwhelmed with exhaustion and laid down to rest. I woke up at ten in the evening and was able to go back to sleep and sleep through the night. Ugh! Later in the week I went to Mexicali's in the evening with my friend Janet.  I suggested she call me about an hour before we meet in case I was asleep.  I didn't know if that would help because my daughter Ronda called me before heading for the airport to go to Sweden with her boyfriend for a week. They have friends they will stay with and who will take them sightseeing. But my point was, I never heard the phone ring when Ronda called.  I was awake when my friend Janet called.

Last Sunday I received a text message from a childhood friend, Zona who asked if we could get together and have dinner. She was on her way north to do a solo camping trip.  That was a good experience for her.  She got a hotel room here.  I went to pick her up at the hotel and we had Chinese food. We had lots of catching up to do. She said she would be passing through on Wednesday and might spend the night, but she became ill and headed home. 

While out to dinner, I got an email from Gary Hollingsead who was putting up a new retaining wall in my backyard. They wanted to start at 6:30 the next morning. I agreed.

They were prompt and knocked the bricks out one at a time. There were several men here so they moved quickly. They needed to cut some of the branches from the vine on the chain link fence above the block wall. It looked so raw and exposed with the block wall gone.  They asked to come the next day at 6:00 am. The idea was to get the most done during the coolest hours. It is very hot here. The soil in front of the chain link fence had fallen a lot more. It is obvious that it was not packed down when they initially put in the chain link fence to the private neighborhood above me. It was done in 1959, so who do you hold responsible?  My neighbors on my side of the street abutting this private community will face the same problem when they need to do this. My backyard is just a construction zone that I am trying to avoid looking at until it is done.

It looked so raw with the wall down!

The workman were fast in getting the wall up.

The block wall is up.
The clean up will happen tomorrow.

On the first day of the wall project,  I had lunch with my friend Jo at the Chef's Choice Noodle Bar. It was enjoyable. We are both in the Red Hat group. Jo is hard of hearing which interferes when talking much in a group. So it was pleasant to talk with just us two. When we parted company and I was heading to my car, I was approached by a reporter and photographer from Lifestyle Magazine. They asked me what did I like most of Kern County. Of course, there is a lot I like, but since we were downtown, I said I liked the downtown area especially for First Friday ( the first Friday of each month in the evenings) which focuses on the arts.  The art galleries, craft type stores and arts & craft tables outdoors with some musicians playing at street corners.  The restaurants in the area do very well that night and you need a reservation to get in.  I praised the push to raise money to be put toward making the downtown environment more appealing. 

The following day I had my "private" lesson with Carol (it is supposed to be a class with at least one other student). I showed her what I had done on the drawing of the sunflower. I only did the one I was going to paint. I asked how she would paint this picture, etc. so I watched as she did one of her own and asked tons of questions. It really was very helpful. I'm also glad that I can ask any question I want. It helped me to understand the process. Now it was my turn. I felt much more confident about what I would do. Though I'm getting private lessons when I don't pay a private rate, I really appreciate it and I would fully understand if she couldn't continue this. She did say she would tell me when she reached this point. Right now she schedules appointments on the same day when coming into town. She lives around Lake Isabella (about an hours drive into the mountains).

Sunflowers by Rachel

I had lunch with my buddy Victor. We used to work together. I mentioned that he is writing a book and that he wanted me to read it. We will get together once a month here in Bakersfield and he will bring sections of his book each time we meet for me to review by the next lunch. 

My son Jeff and his wife Stephanie had an open house where they live now and a graduation celebration for their daughter Cassadie (my first grandchild to graduate from college).  My grandchildren Crystal and Devin went with us.  The weather was balmy in the mid-seventies.  It was a wonderful break from the heat we have been experiencing at home.  With their front door open, there was a wonderful breeze wafting through the house.  Stephanie, who is a wonderful cook had lots of snacks that could be a meal for anyone who needed that.  She sure has a knack for putting together an event.  This home was built in the 1920's and very well maintained.  Very stylish but much of it not to current code like a window on the second floor going down to the floor where there could be a possibility of someone falling to the ground (I can assure you it wouldn't be me!  I stay away from open areas above the first floor).

Cassadie with her boyfriend Bogart-
They both just graduated from different Universities.

Meghan Jerdin, Jeff and Stephanie's youngest takes acting classes-
I have a feeling we will be seeing her on the big screen or television in the future!

Shelley, Crystal and Devin

Jeff with a jaunty step in front of their duplex (what a lovely home)

Cassadie with her Aunt Shelley

Well, another full week, despite sleeping for hours at a time!  More tests this next week to see if we can figure out what is going on with me.  I hope you had a good week and I will see you next Sunday.              Rachel

The Last Sunset

I’m completing my blog on Father’s Day as I remember my father and my husband who was a loving father.  I miss them both and this is a day also of remembrance of all the fathers who are not here to be honored in person.  This sentiment from The Grief Toolbox fits the feelings I have and I’m sure for many other people.

When I got home last Sunday in the morning,  I felt all my energy leaving me. I needed to get my blog out there as soon as possible.   Thank goodness I work on it throughout the week.  It would be very overwhelming doing it in one sitting.  As soon as that was accomplished, I laid down and slept for eight hours. Then up for a couple of hours before sleeping through the night.   This had been getting worse. I started to have problems scheduling anything. I did see a doctor about this and he took me off a water pill which is the first step they take with people with high blood pressure. I don't have high  blood pressure. This medication has a side effect to keep me from losing calcium when I urinated.   He said my brain was not getting enough oxygen and that was why I was feeling so sleepy. Blood pressure on Friday at chemotherapy  was 113/71.  When I was taking that medication, it was running 99/66.   I am scheduled for a test called a Cortrosyn Stimulation Test.  They are looking at Adrenal Insufficiency.   It is all related to looking at why I’m so exhausted that I could sleep for so many hours.

My granddaughter Cassadie graduated from the University of Oregon this week. And, her mom sent me her first published article in a magazine about a woman who made specialized soap. Well done!  I will see her next weekend.

Meghan with her sister Cassadie who graduated from
The University of Oregon with a degree in Journalism

It is only me in Carol Bradshaw's art class now.  This week was drawing sunflowers.  I was telling my step-mom Kate and she wondered how Carol can do this for just one person.  I agree, but I am glad I have had her.  I've learned a lot even if I have a hard time getting some of what she says.  It is interesting because it will hit me about the meaning of something she has said many times in the past and then all of a sudden I "get it!"  As I was talking to my step-mom, she told me about a picture she drew using cheap colored pencils.  She had taken a photo of her friend's cat.  She was just struck by the color of his hair.  She said he is almost the size of a Maine Coon cat.  This drawing she did was on a 12x16 drawing paper.  She gave the drawing to her friend who was very pleased.  She is a very good artist!

My Step-Mom Kate Gaman drew this picture

My picture of Sunflowers- Pencil and Color Pencil

I went to Martha's home and then the Helping One Woman dinner.  The woman being honored was Theresa Lopez.  She started with breast cancer in 2010 and in 2014 with Stage IV liver cancer.  And just recently they found a lesion in her brain.  Many people were there to honor her.  She has a very positive attitude and a wonderful smile.   Her attitude has helped her in dealing with this.  It is amazing to me how people do what they do when given such tough news.

Theresa Lopez is on the left

A friend, Victor  who I worked with called me. We hadn't talked in a long time.   He is writing a book and asked if I would read it when he is at that point.  I'm honored that he would like me to do this.  We have scheduled lunch this next week at Mama Roomba.  We were best buds at work and though we haven't talked in quite a  while, I still feel this way about him.  I am really looking forward to spending some time with him.

I picked some veggies this week. It is so exciting when you grow it yourself. It also has much more flavor. I like that!  I have actually eaten several tomatoes and green peppers from my garden.  I'm eating them as soon as I pick them.  These green peppers are so small and very tasty.  I will cook the squash today.

Veggies from my raised garden

Here is a lovely picture of my two great-grandsons that my Granddaughter-in-Law Meagan posted this week.  They are one year apart.

Kason and Conner, brothers

So last night my daughter Shelley and I went to a going away party for two of my friends, Susan and Jennifer.  They live on top of a hill and have a wonderful view of sunsets here. I will miss them, but I think this is a wonderful move for them.  Shelley and I will make a point of visiting them.  They were there for me when times were incredibly rough when Paul was dying and when I was having medical problems,  in addition to being just two wonderful women.  There were also several people I knew and that Shelley knew by voice on the phone.  She was finally able to connect a face with the voice.

Jennifer and Susan- Note the dry landscape on the hills

My daughter Shelley and my friend Beth with me

Silhouette of Palm Tree at Sunset

The Last Sunset

That is it for the week.  I hope your week went well.  I'll see you next Sunday.      Rachel

What Strange Weather!

Shelley and I went to a beauty demonstration for skincare.  We met Leslie and her sister while attending the cooking with herbs demonstration.  Leslie had all the fixings for tacos which were great. A short thunder and lightening storm with heavy rain started. It seemed like it would go on and on, but that is not what usually happens here.  When we went home on the east side of town, everyone on this side said they did not have any of this. We are talking like 10 miles away!   We are having more humidity than we are used to these days.  Ugh!  Very uncomfortable.  I would rather stay inside.

I guess my fellow classmate Wayne is dropping out at least for a while. There are two other women in the class now. I have seen them before. We will continue with flowers in the next 6 week period. We worked on roses.  The next flower will be a sunflower.  I'm still working on my rose in watercolor. I felt I did a poor job of it.  Though it is not finished,  I will start over.   Below is one I did with color pencils. 

Unfinished Yellow Rose

Rose Done in Color Pencils

Well I had my final visit to the doctor for my wrist (I broke it a year ago. He was impressed with my mobility. It is good to move on!

Janet and I met at Mexicali's. Esther who was the last of three sisters to own and manage the restaurant died and the service was the day before. Her son was there checking on things like he has done for years. Kenny runs the California Avenue location.  We expressed our condolences. He had a cold and said "I haven't had a cold in years". I thought his immune system could be down with all the stress. He said "I've  shaken a lot of hands". That certainly could have been an issue too.  

I received a message from my endocrinologist. She said my cortisol level is on the low side of normal and I needed further workup.  She said a nurse will contact me to come in for a Cortrosyn Stimulation Test.  If this is related to being exhausted, I hope we can fix it.  I’ll see another doctor at the end of the week.  I take a type of water pill used for high blood pressure, though I don’t take it for high blood pressure.  It seems to have a side effect to keep you from peeing out the calcium in your body.  So my blood pressure is running quite low and this can cause this type of fatigue.

My friend Martha had a pool party at her home in the country.  I saw three tents and there were five RVs staying overnight. My granddaughter couldn't come so my friend Susan let me stay at her home. There was fabulous Mexican food, including homemade tamales (my favorite).  There was also a DJ who played a lot of music I liked, except for later, it was not appealing to me.  It was dance music and though I don't dance now, I made the moves sitting down. It was 103 degrees at its hottest and there was more humidity than usual. I found if I dangled my legs in the pool, it helped to keep my whole body cooler. I did take a few dips too. There were several people I knew from working in the prison. And, while there, I got a call from a fellow social worker, Victor, from the same setting. Amazing!  We will set up going out to lunch in the near future.  

Martha's Pool Party with Lots of Shade!

Martha with her Grandson

And here is a short video of people dancing to a Disc Jockey at Martha's party.  Fun!

Martha's Pool Party June 2015

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Here is a lovely way of looking at life and death by Buffy Andrews who writes for the York Daily Record in Pennsylvania and has written some books.  Check her out!

Every year, I look forward to the fringe tree blooming in our front yard. Its white, fleecy feathers hang from the branches and dance in the wind. Along with the gorgeous pink weeping cherry tree that blooms a few weeks before, it’s one of my favorite spring-flowering trees. The dogwood, saucer magnolia and Bradford pear can’t beat its beauty.

Check out my books

The other night, a wicked storm rolled into town. The wind whipped, pea-sized hail fell and a torrential downpour soaked the ground. When I walked outside the following morning, the fringe tree was naked, and its soft billowy blooms blanketed the ground. All that beauty gone in a flash, ripped from the branches before I was ready to say goodbye.
As I picked up some soggy blooms and held them in the palm of my hand, tears pooled in my eyes. I was reminded of beauty cut short, of parents and family and friends, tassels torn too soon from the tree of life during one of life’s raging storms.
Why must things die? a young child asks, unable to understand that all life is organized in such a way that it has a limited lifespan.
Flies might live for days, tortoises and whales for hundreds of years and trees for thousands of years. But eventually, they all die. No living thing, no animal or plant, can escape death.
So often in life we witness beauty too short-lived. Why can’t the fringes hang forever? Why do the cherry blossoms fade and fall?
What perhaps we should be asking is, Why didn’t I enjoy the beauty when I had the chance?
It’s human nature, I think, to believe there will always be another day. But sometimes there isn’t. Sometimes wicked weather slams us unexpectedly and we’re caught off-guard, standing in the drenching rain and rising water.

I know that everything in life has its own season -- a time to be born and a time to die. But that doesn’t stop me from wishing the seasons could last longer.
• • •
After seeing how the storm undressed the fringe tree, I walked around the yard to see what else had been affected.
I found the dwarf English boxwoods were growing and turning a healthy green. The azaleas were popping with pink.
The barberries were budding and stretching in all directions.
The hydrangeas were beginning to peek out, and the hosta, which had only poked through the ground a couple weeks ago, had taken over the side of the house.
Yes, everything has a season. I hope you enjoy yours.

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Here is an article published on NPR called How to Let Go When A Loved One is Dying

How to Let Go When a Loved One is Dying

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And check out TheGriefToolBox.com for stories, poetry, etc. which may help you in dealing with a loss. The one below came from this site. 

Thank you for reading my blog. There are many people discussing this issue also. We all may say it in a slightly different way. Talk to your friends and family about death and dying, grief and bereavement. These are normal events and will become a part of your life if you have not already dealt with it or dealing with it now.   I'll see you next Sunday.                              Rachel