Points North

I went north to see my friends Marykay and Mike this week. I was so excited to go. It had been a long time since I visited them at their home. When Janet came to pick me up to take me to the train station, she noted that we could see the mountains  to the west of us which were about 50 miles away.   What a sight!   We don't see that often!  

The trip up north went well. I read the whole time.  Marykay and Mike picked me up in Stockton and we drove to Livermore.  

Marykay is an excellent cook. Though we had nice meals out, what we at home was at least as good.  I was well fed. And we went to several restaurants serving different nationalities of food, Chinese, Japanese and Jordanian and Thai and one that would be a California Cuisine.  All excellent.  We went to Campo di Bocci for Sunday brunch. They have a Bocce court inside the restaurant with tables around for meals.  Cocktails and or wine and beer are unlimited for the first 1.5 hours. I have never seen this before.  I  had smoked  salmon and shrimp.  They had many other food items including roast beef, omelets, salads and fabulous desserts. 

We talked about so much. I loved the leisurely pace which was much easier for me.   I brought two movies up, The Martian and Interstellar which they had not seen. I loved both of these movies and thought with Mike being a physicist he really might enjoy them. 

We went to an art store where I got a couple of things I haven't been able to get. It was fun just looking around. Wonderful ideas all over the place. 

Another day Marykay and I went to a high end outlet mall. The clothing stores were beyond my means. We did go into a couple of stores that only sell socks. They had them for everyone and I could afford these. And, I didn't have to worry about size!  They were very nice. We also went to  a store which sells lotions and soaps called L'Occitane. They are wonderfully scented. The other store we went to was a children's clothing store from France. Marykay got a beautiful outfit for her granddaughter Eva. That was a fun day. 

One day we took a hike on the Arroyo Mocho Trail, just a bit of it.  It was gorgeous and the weather was very pleasant.  We didn't expect so much water with the drought we are having.

Along the Arroyo Mocho Trail

Along the Arroyo Mocho Trail

We went to her daughter Libby's home. Her son Ari was so cute, but kept his distance from me until we were leaving and he gave a kiss. Very sweet!  Libby looked good.  Marykay,  his grandmother played with him.  He loved that. They see each other on line as she does with her daughter Rachel and her family in Washington. This is really a wonderful tool when you can't see each other as often as you would like. 

We went out for dinner with her brother John and his wife Jennifer. It was good to see them.  John is retiring and he plans to fix up a train set.  It was something he did as a boy and now he will have the time to work on it and make it the way he wants.  

Mike told me to bring my album, that he could transfer it to a CD. They had a phonograph, but they found it wasn't working, so they bought another one. I felt bad, but they said they have records they can play on it.  Mike put quite a bit of time on it. It turned out there were two albums in the sleeve one of the high school concert band and the other the dance band, called the Naturals. Our dance band was pretty good. If you didn't see kids playing you would think we were adults. My friends could hear me playing the bass.

I went to the mall to get a USB Support Drive. It was raining heavily going there and I drove slowly.  I started coming back the same way, but it was flooded badly. When I got to the H street underpass, it was very flooded. I thought if I drove in it my car might stall. Someone else's car did. There were several cars behind me and I decided I'd turn around. So I was driving into traffic and cars stopped moving when I did that. I was able to get out of there and avoid the really deep flooding. 

When I got home, I hooked up the SuperDrive and it kept ejecting it. So I'm not sure what to do. I'll talk with Mike. I wanted to put a couple of our jazz band's pieces on my blog. Marykay, Mike and I really enjoyed The Naturals. 

We went to Marykay's and Mike's church, St. Charles Borromeo in Livermore.   Marykay and Claudia Willis made these pictures to look like stained glass. Marykay did the design. It was done on watercolor paper about 1/3 the size of the final picture. Mike,  Marykay's husband has wonderful technological skills and made them high definition by making it with more pixels. They sent it as an attachment on an email to Wallpaper for Windows which printed it on a plastic. They in turn used a soapy water and and a plastic card like a credit card to work out the bubbles.  See the pictures below for the outcome. Lovely!  Marykay is a wonderful artist. I love what she does. I have a couple of her pictures so I gave her two of mine, the lion and the deer.  Here are the paintings on the glass doors of the church. 

St. Charles Borromeo Church in Livermore

St. Charles Borromeo Church in Livermore

Before I left we did a selfie of the three of us in their backyard.  

Marykay, Mike and Me

When I got home, Janet picked me up and we went to The Red Pepper for dinner and Margaritas on my side of town. They are very creative with how they put their food together. 

Below are two written pieces. The first by Erma Bombeck and the second one, my friend Susan found and posted. She was once my boss when I worked in hospice. She was the best boss I ever had. What a sense of humor and very caring. I miss her. She moved to another state.  

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

By Erma Bombeck

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love yous"... more "I'm sorrys"...but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it...live it...and never give it back.

----------------------------

In Memory of Erma Bombeck

"Be courageous and bold. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did."

And the second writing which is excellent is::

How We Used to Die; How We Die Now

By Louis Profeta, M.D.

http://exopermaculture.com/2016/01/19/how-we-used-to-die-how-we-die-now/http://exopermaculture.com/2016/01/19/how-we-used-to-die-how-we-die-now/

No art this week. I have been busy visiting. I need to rest. I hope your week went well. See you next Sunday. 

Contemplating and Reflecting, Getting Grounded

Billy, my grandson has gone back to school to get a better paying job to support his family. This is his first week at Bakersfield College. He stated he didn't care for school when he was younger, so this is a big change for him. I think he is finally ready and I expect he will do well because he is selecting this himself. 

Conner, Billy and Kason
In this picture, I can see their relative sizes much better

 

My granddaughter Crystal posted a picture of Nylah.  She is one month old now.  How time passes!

Nylah is one month old.  Her eyes
are open!

I was working further on the head of my horse.  I don't care for it, but I'm trying to get a sense of what I can do with what I have.  I have these 6 Derwent color pencils that can be used wet or dry.  So that is what I used on this picture.  Much better with just the pencil, at least in my hands.

While at chemotherapy, the social worker Robin dropped by. She asked me how the holidays went. I told her they are not the same as when Paul was alive, but I'm not upset like I used to be. It is just different now, but I think I've adjusted to it. When I had my hair cut, my hairdresser and I also had this discussion. His mother died of breast cancer when he was 20 and he had a hard time with grieving. He thinks age (as did Robin, my social worker) is a factor in being or not being so involved with the holidays. I think they are right. We all expressed relief when it was over, even if we enjoyed it. I feel like the pressure is off in feeling that we must be joyous and happy all the time.   I may feel happy, but I don't have to keep up the appearance of being upbeat, positive at all times.    We don't always feel so positive anyway.  I know I don't.

I feel so fortunate to have the family and friends I have.  They mean so much to me and they all have helped in their own way in my healing.  I think it is the openness of feelings.  We really do have a lot in common, but until we are willing to open up to each other, we may not know this.  That way we find out that we are not strange, (anymore than anyone else is).  

This was a week for contemplation, where I was and where I am going.  It was good, and necessary at times to stay grounded.  I expect my next blog will be reflecting on this.  I hope your week went well.  I felt mine did.  I will see you next Sunday.                                                    Rachel  

Breaking Out of the Fog - My Friend Janet is Coming Around

I worked on the head of a horse.  The same one as last week, but I think this one is better.  When I was visiting my step-mom Kate who is an artist, made some recommendations and copied some pages to help me in the sketching.  It helped.  My teacher Carol had surgery and is getting physical therapy.  She is communicating with us by email and wants to hear of our progress until she gets back in mid March.  I'll send her this.

My horse improved!

Barbara, Janet and I went to a wonderful concert put on by the Bakersfield Concert Association. The group was the Valinor Quartet. There was another violinist this group knew who was in Bakersfield. They asked him to join in with some of the pieces.   This was all instrumental, no singing.  Excellent!  They were an international group which brought the music of their regions to this concert. Their site describes their playing as a unique hybrid of jazz and classical.   These pictures are from their site.  A wonderful group!

While Janet and I went out for dinner, she told me she was thinking about tutoring children in reading. She said "I don't know what happened, but it is like a fog has been lifting."  Her husband Ron died almost four years ago. "I'm bored".  This is good news to hear. She has not been willing to do much, but this year she is going out with Barb and me to the Bakersfield Concert Series which we include going out to eat.   We also went to a concert she had invited me to at Bakersfield College put on by the choir her granddaughter was singing in.   I have also invited her to join my Red Hat group and she finally has agreed to do that and will go to our next one at the Woolgrowers.  She is gradually coming around. She thinks this volunteering to teach children to read  is a commitment of one day a week.  So gradually she is filling her calendar with activities she likes, or at least wants to find out if it is a good match for her.  She also got me a Gwee Gym like she got herself. She is trying to be more active (though she does walk) and is encouraging me to do the same.  It is simple and portable. 

I remember when I was in that fog. When you are in it, it is about impossible seeing yourself feeling better.  It is an experience that someone telling you that you will feel better does not work. We need that time to grieve and each of us are on different timetables. 

There is this wonderful site where a woman reads some great books, shares from them and gives her input.  The site is Brainpickings.org  

When Breath Becomes Air: A Young Neurosurgeon Examines the Meaning of Life as He Faces His Death

The book is by Paul Kalanithi who died in 2013.    The woman who writes Brainpickings.org does a wonderful job of reviewing books.  She does many.  Anyway, I have downloaded this book to my Kindle and I am anxious to read it.  The problem is that I have three books I am in the process of reading and I think I should just wait a bit to give more of my time to this.  Though you can read her material at Brainpickings.org, she would really appreciate a donation, if you are able to.  I say she provides a wonderful service in what she does and she is well worth it.  Tapping on the title above will take you directly to her article.  She also recommends other reading if you liked this book.

Barbara and I went to see  Star Wars: The Force Awakens at the theater at Valley Plaza. They have one theater converted to an IMAX screen and we also received glasses for a 3D movie. The special affects were awesome. It felt like we were in the middle of the scene. Though it isn't the sort of movie I was interested in, I can appreciate all the work that went into making it. 

Afterwards we went for dinner at the Great Castle.  A while back, I had lunch with my friend Vic here which was not up to their standards. Vic made it clear he never wanted to eat there again. Well, I'm glad I returned, because our dinner was excellent and reasonably priced.  I don't believe I would do lunch again though.

My granddaughter Crystal posted more pictures of my great-granddaughter Nylah. She is so cute!

Crystal and Nylah

Crystal and Nylah

Nylah with her Eyes Open!

My great-grandsons Conner and Kason look great. Both are growing like weeds!  They are so obviously well loved.  Their expressions are playful and happy.

Conner

Kason

Kason

Conner

Conner and Kason

I feel so fortunate for the family I have.  It makes it easier to deal with difficult issues when they come up.
So that is it for the week.  All is well here.  I rested a lot.  I don't know if I can bank it or not.  I have some activities happening in the near future.  It would be nice if the rest I had helped for that.  We will see.  I also know that if I take breaks between events, I do a whole lot better.

I hope your week end well and I will see you next Sunday.                          Rachel

A Needed Slower Week, But I'm Okay

Our Red Hat Dinner was in the Belvedere Room at the Padre Hotel. I enjoy the food here. My daughter Shelley found a pink coat that matches her hat. She looked so nice. They have a couple of chairs in the lobby that remind me of Alice in Wonderland because of the exaggerated lengths of the backs of these chairs. So fun!  We had to get a picture using one.  I had found this most unusual Red Hat at an antique store.  It doesn't show in this picture of Evelyn, but there is a doll on top of the hat.  It has some weight to it and you would have to be careful how you move for the hat not to fall off.  It was perfect for Evelyn as the queen of our group.  She want to pick the right venue to wear it.  She thinks it  would look great, and I agree on a Red Hat cruise. At our dinner, discussed going to another painting class, probably in March- a celebration of spring.  We had so much fun with the last painting class which included wine that we want to keep this up.  I think that I'll also do this with Shelley and her daughter Heather at another art session where she could go since she is not 21 years old yet.

Our Red Hat Group

Evelyn, our Queen, trying on the hat I got her

Pamela, Me and Shelley on the Alice In Wonderland chair,

Janet and I met at Sandrini's, a Basque/Italian fusion restaurant. The have excellent pickled tongue, a specialty at Basque Restaurants.  It just was pleasant talking with Janet.

I went to stay with Kate, my stepmom on Friday and I got back home Sunday around 1:30.   On Friday night, we went to an Italian restaurant we had not been before.  A friend of hers said they had a happy hour with good appetizers to buy.  They did have a good appetizer, but you had to sit in the bar to get the happy hour.  So we sat in the bar.  I liked what I had which was a pasta dish with mushrooms and garlic.  Kate got a pizza, but she thought see ordered a vegetarian pizza, but this had pepperoni sausage on it which isn't her desire.  So she ate very little.  I ate them the next day for lunch.  While there we went to the art store Swain's in Glendale.  We went during a very good sale on paper and other art supplies.  A little later we went to see a movie called 45 Years.  It was a somewhat sad movie about a couple planning a celebration of their 45th wedding anniversary when the husband gets a letter about his first love's body being found in the Swiss Alps.    He had been with her, but because of the snow melting, her body was seen in the ice.  He gets emotional about this and his wife starts to feel that their marriage might have been a sham.  Actually, I thought that might have been the  case.  I wanted to read up on the movie to see if that was what it was. So the audience was filled with older people who age wise could have fit the profile.   Then we went to a Pakistani restaurant for dinner.  Very tasty.  It was too much food.  Next time I won't get a side dish of vegetables, because the main dish had lots of spinach.

On Sunday I picked Kate's brain for her ideas on sketching animals.  She is an artist who has primarily done botanical art.  She pulled out a sketch book showing me how with time her sketches improved.  They did.  She was urging me to keep a sketch book on me to do the same thing.    She recommended I use my cats as subjects.  Kate is a docent at the Los Angeles County Zoo and used the animals there for her sketching.  I also showed her the head of a horse I had done.  She had a few suggestions, but felt it was fairly good.  I will incorporate the suggestions she made in my next drawing.  So this week I did nothing in art, so nothing to show.   I will next week.

Crystal posted a couple of pictures of Nylah, my great granddaughter.

Nylah is really darling!

She is already changing some.

This week I came upon two car accidents before emergency personnel arrived.  One was earlier in the week.  A car was flipped over on it's hood very soon after I got on the freeway.  I think they got out okay because both doors were open.  I could hear the ambulance trying to get in driving on the shoulder of the freeway.  Heading home today, I ran into another one just after getting on the freeway again.  The air bags were deployed.  I have never seen that before.  A younger man was helping an alderman get to the shoulder of the freeway.  I didn't hear any sirens, and parts of the pickup truck were strewn across the road.  I never did hear a siren for that accident.

I feel okay.  I just did a lot less this week.   Down time is needed and I'm taking it.   I hope your week went well and I will see you next Sunday.                 Rachel

Seeing Old Friends

The traffic was clear going to Seal Beach to meet my friends from high school whom I haven't seen in almost half a century!  I drove fast also so the combination got me there a half hour before I said I'd be there.  My friend Barbara lives in Leisure World of Seal Beach. (I have many friends named Barbara and Linda-  I know who they all are. You just think "friend").  They have guards at the gate and they checked a board for my name and who I was visiting. They had letters for each apartment/house and I didn't have this. I called her and we met on the walkway. Though we have a lot of years on us, we recognized each other.  We ran into each other's arms. I felt there should have been a swelling of music.   Barbara has a caregiver, Debbie who lives with her. I was very relieved because Barbara is having memory issues.  It is a big problem. I brought up about our 50 year class reunion in 2017, but she does not believe she will be alive then. She is very open about the dementia and went to see a doctor, when after years of being a hospice nurse and driving all over the county, she had this experience of not having a clue as to where she was. She knew something was wrong.  I was just aware of her asking multiple times where we were going and about my nephew who was murdered, she could not remember this.  She remembered well when we talked about what we did when we were young.   In fact, her memory of that time was much better than mine.  When we made light of her statement about dying soon, she said "I don't fear death. I've had a full life."  I feel a sad, because now that I find her and I might not have her much longer.  I want to hold her and not let her go.  She was an important part of my life and I've been looking for her for a long time.  I hope we get more visits together. 

We met our friend Linda at the Crema Cafe. I spotted her husband and daughters because we connected on Facebook and she had many pictures of them. They didn't have a clue as to who I was and I explained.  Though I saw Linda on Facebook too and I knew how she looked.  She looked a lot like I remembered her.   Our other friend Toni did't make it because driving back home the day before from a Christmas gathering with family was a grueling eight hours because of many detours - the result of fires.  We had a group phone call as we waited for our food. I suggested that Barbara and I could plan a trip to see Toni with my picking up Barbara and then to Hesperia if we could stay over night with Toni.  I can't see heading home the same day. For me it will be at least four hours each way. I have to take breaks or my back starts really hurting.  I sent a message to Toni.  We will put it off until the weather is milder and she can put us up at her home when we come. Linda invited us to stay with her family in Honolulu on Oahu.  I haven't been to Hawaii for a while. That would be nice. I'm concerned that we may have to arrange these trips soon if Barbara is declining as fast as she thinks she is. It would be wonderful if we could do this.  We would have our own foursome reunion.

I can't believe we forgot to get a group shot of us!  I did get a picture of Barbara before we left her home and I got a picture of Linda on her Facebook site and I took a recent picture of me edited out of a group shot.  I have no current picture of Toni.   I think we look pretty youthful for 66 years old.

Barbara

Linda

Me

Kate offered that I stay at her home instead of driving home (a 2 1/2 hour drive).  That was a 40 minute drive. There was a possibility of rain the next day, so weather would be a factor to determine the time I would leave. I ended up looking at my calendar on my iPhone when I was at my stepmom Kate's home around 8:30 pm and I read "if you left right now, it will take you two hours and six minutes to get home."  How does it know I haven't left yet? 

Kate picked up chicken and salad for the evening and we watched Holmes, which was a somewhat sad movie.  Kate gave me a record album I had given my father.  I have a copy somewhere, but I don't know where somewhere is.  Here is a picture of the album. We were called the dance band in high school The Naturals.  The band leader was Mr. Eugene Szilagyi.  I have fond memories of him. I used to babysit his son who had become brain damaged from having measles. 

In 10th grade, they made an album of our playing.   I remember they played it on a local radio show and said it sounded like Tommy Dorsey's band.  That would be our parent's generation.  I need to take it somewhere to get it changed into a CD. I no longer have a record player and I would like to listen to this.   I remember this one riff in one of the pieces. I wish they had chosen the other attempt at playing this, because I did the other one better. The problem was that the rest of the band felt they played better on this try. When I get this copied, I will put one of the pieces in my blog. I played the bass in high school and in college until I changed my major to social work from music.   When I finished my junior year of college majoring in music, I changed my major to social work so I did six full years of college before getting my Bachelors degree  and then continued to get a Masters in Social Work. 

After a continental breakfast and a shower the next morning I was up to the drive home.  I am so appreciative of breaking up the drive.  There were some sprinkles and it looked like it would snow in the mountains. And, it did start snowing in the mountains about three hours after I got home. I was fortunate in my timing. 

When I went for my chemotherapy, my nurse told me the results of my MUGA scan which checks the pressure of blood flow through the heart. It was 67.1 and the one before that was 74.1. No one here understands why it was up to 74.1 which is good. I had the same activity, diet and rest. That was a good number, but so is 67.1. I believe he decided to make the baseline 60.  If it drops below that, it probably means stopping the Perception.

I worked some on drawing this week.  I know the last picture was off on proportions.  I did a close up of a horse, so this is what I did:

Here is a Flirtatious Mare

I gave my grandson Billy a Life Straw, that filters bad things from the water.  For every filter bought, they supply one child safe water for a year in Africa.  I was thinking the drought here could lead them to getting water from an unsafe source.  So what does he do?!  He tests it on a mud puddle!  Ugh! 

https://www.facebook.com/rachel.jerdin/posts/10153862313144036

My daughter Ronda made several jams which got redirected in the mail to the east coast. I finally got it and have been trying her apple butter. Very tasty!

After meeting Janet at Mexicali's, we decided to get together New Years Eve and I was going to stay the night, but she slept bad and was not feeling well. I said I would call her the following day. I had already planned to have eggnog and rum and was set for the evening. My plan as always was to read when I'm home and that is what I did. 

My cat Daisy loves to sit next to me when I'm in my arm chair. She usually leans into me.  Here is a picture of her. Pepper also does this but she falls on her back leaning over the seat trying to hold on. 

Daisy who wants body contact.  She really loves to
pin down my left arm by sitting on the arm of the chair and
pushing into me.  This is her second favorite position.

Crystal is getting wonderful pictures of her daughter Nylah with the help of her cousin Heather.  She loves looking at her. 

One Week Old!

One Week Old!

This article was reflective of what I noted with others when I was grieving over losses in my life.  I also decided that these were not hurtful people. They just could not give me the support I needed. It helps to understand what is happening.  This is by Paula Stephens. 

http://www.positivelypositive.com/2016/01/02/why-we-lose-friends-when-a-loved-one-dies-and-what-to-do-about-it/

8 Simple Words to Say When Someone You Love is Grieving,  also a very good article by Tim Lawrence. 

http://www.upworthy.com/8-simple-words-to-say-when-when-someone-you-love-is-grieving?c=reccon1

I did get a fair amount of rest.  I'm glad.  It made for an easier.  So, that is about it this week.  I hope your week went well and I will see you next week.              Rachel