Making Lots of Memories, Living Before Dying

So in the Central Valley of California we are really dealing with major drought conditions.  A town I used to live in, Visalia, is down to watering one time a week and anyone who doesn't follow this will be fined. I think all the measures being taken are not enough. It appears we will run out of water.   So will this become a ghost valley like how we describe a ghost town?  My friend Martha had a real scare.  She lives in the country outside of Visalia.  They thought their well was dry, but they found out the pump needed repairing.  They are down to 30 feet of water in their well.  That sounds scary to me too.  They are hoping it lasts another year until they are scheduled for their well to be dug much deeper.  60 minutes had a very good report about the effects of the drought on the Central Valley this last Sunday (It was a repeat)s.  See the episode on using up the underground water by clicking on Link below. 

 Link

Last Sunday my son Jeff, his wife Stephanie and their youngest daughter Meghan came to visit. We had some of the family here to join us.  But since Kevin's birthday party was the day before, some had already scheduled the following day with other activities.  We barbecued chicken and with what each chipped in to fill out the meal, we had a huge meal. Stephanie shared with us her experiences of catering for groups of students making movies. This has been so successful, her name is being bandied about for future catering jobs. Of course, the whole family has been very aware of her excellent cooking talents. So it wasn't a surprise to us that this would happen. We are all very pleased her talents are being recognized.  They sold their home and are currently in a rental which they describe as bigger than their last home. They are looking to get a home at the beach.            Jeff started working at a start up company as a CPA which has huge potential.  So,  Jeff said though a lot has happened, it has been very positive. They will have an open house at their new home to celebrate their oldest daughter's graduation (Cassadie) from the University of  Oregon at the end of the month. 

It was a good day. I was telling Jeff how exhausted I felt these days for no obvious reason and he told me he had been feeling this way and was recently diagnosed with diabetes.   I had seen my oncologist that week and told him I was fine. At that moment I was and I couldn't remember what I was planning to bring up. (Write it down next time!)  It was about the exhaustion.  Stephanie and I didn't get in the pictures, but here are the others. 

Jeff Jerdin and Shelley Schmitt, Brother and Sister

Meghan Jerdin, Crystal Kline, Alyssa Estes, Kayla and Devin Kline, my Grandchildren

This week was my husband Paul's birthday. If he were still here, he would have been 74 years old. I really miss him as does the rest of the family. It is definitely not the same without him. 

My Red Hat dinner was the day of Paul's birthday. It was at a Thai restaurant I have not been to. It is called the Blue Elephant Thai Restaurant. The perfect place to eat since Paul and I were married in Thailand while on vacation.  The food was good, as was the company. But I was feeling nauseous and just all around, not well and left early.  

This week was also Shelley's birthday, Paul's oldest daughter, my step-daughter. We went to dinner at Mama Roomba's a fabulous Caribbean restaurant on First Friday, a monthly event in downtown Bakersfield, with the local art galleries open in the evening along with street crafts and musicians all around the area.   This area continues to improve and has been a draw to people as they hear about this event. It makes for a pleasant evening out. To get into most restaurants downtown at the time of this event, make a reservation because they are fill up fast, usually with those who made reservations.

Shelley and I standing at the entrance to Wall Street, an Alley with
Guthrie's Alley Cat in the Background

Shelley and I Standing in Front of Colorful Street Art

And then last night Shelley and I had a wonderful evening at one of the garden nurseries, Robby's Nursery. That place is so lovely. I could spend hours there!  It is gorgeous!  So this event had a chef who made several dishes using fresh herbs talking as he was cooking.  A couple of great hints we picked up is spray the fruit, meat or vegetable lightly with a no-stick spray before putting it on the grill.  It won't shoot back flames and you make sure the food is covered and less likely to stick.  The other great hint is similar.  Grill the veggies dry, then cover with the marinade to not burn the food on the grill.  Amazing that herbs you don't think of putting in drinks (like lemonade) add a nice touch, like oregano. There were also two women who were sisters who made the appetizers. They ended up sitting with us. Very nice people. They used to own Skateland, but recently sold it. The food was outstanding and wine was also served. It was also a wine tasting event. This was $25 per person and required reservations.   Shelley found out about it on Facebook.  Best deal for the money!  We were lucky with the weather which was in the mid-eighties. How fortunate for us!  It is heading to over a hundred degrees this week.

Shelley and I wearing Shades Before the Sun Went Down

Shelley and I with Two New Friends

I am in the Art group on Google+.  I admired the work of a photographer, Mike Dunbar. It really is artistic, especially his still life photos. I can't help but speak up about how impressed I am. He finally recommended a book by Joe McNally, The Moment It Clicks. So I ordered it on line through Amazon.  It took a while to get here. So one day he sent a message about how were Joe and I getting along. I was so confused and asked "Who's Joe?"  He replied Joe McNally!"  Then I remembered and said I'd send him a message when he came. So when it did come and I informed him, he responded, "I hope you'll be happy together."  Ha, ha!  That would look like a love interest!  Maybe, but in photography!

I saw one of my doctors this week. She is an Endocrinologist.  I forgot to tell my Oncologist about being totally exhausted. I told him I was fine.  I was fine right at that moment. So I tell her and she has ordered some blood work. I haven't been tested for diabetes since 2008. My friend Janet said low blood pressure could cause this. I take a water pill which has a side effect of keeping the body from spilling calcium when you pee. I have not had high blood pressure. So I sent a note about that to her.   I eventually got a follow up note from another physician that yes, low blood pressure can cause exhaustion, so I'm scheduled to discuss this with another physician in two weeks.

The other doctor I saw was the pain doctor for a follow-up visit after the cortisone injections in my back.  Since I have always tended to push myself in moving, doing things and taking care of business, these injections I believed helped me a lot.  I really don't want to slow down and I am hoping I can continue to be like this.  He told me that all people with back pain would benefit in knowing two things that would make a big difference in recovering and moving on or being more handicapped.  They are, don't bend and don't lift heavy items.  I know, I know, I cannot totally abide by this.  I don't have people readily available to do these tasks that require these movements.  I do set several things aside and wait until I see them if I can.

I worked further on my drawing of an Iris.  I think I may be done with it.

Iris in Graphite

Here is my picture of an Oriental Poppy I did in watercolor.

Oriental Poppy in Watercolor

I'm working on a rose, however, I was not getting the idea of the petals.  I spoke with my teacher on the phone today and she emailed me pictures to use as guides.  Fascinating.  One page of them has each petal in a different color which makes it easier to distinguish between each petal so much better. I will post it next week.  We need to have the drawn version done this week.  We will be painting from what we drew.

Here is a clear list on how to help someone who is grieving.  I think you will find it helpful. 

http://thegrieftoolbox.com/artwork/how-do-you-help-someone-grief

So this woman is going through her battle with cancer too and she wants to educate others on what people say that does not help. It is short and worth watching.  These were issues for me too.

https://www.facebook.com/holley.kitchen/videos/10153490757561869/

And here is my great-grandson Conner who looks much cleaner as he learns how to use a spoon when eating.

Conner Working on Eating with a Spoon

A very full week.  I have a few things going on this next week, including an overnight camping trip that my granddaughter Kayla.  Her friend Brianna will be joining us.  I think that will be particularly great!  I am making memories here.  I love it and I hope those who are involved with me in enjoying these gatherings get a kick out of it.  Have a wonderful week and I will see you next Sunday.

Rachel

First Blog, an introduction

Why do I want to do a blog?  Well, I'm going through a lot and I think that writing about it will help me.  But, I also think other people would benefit by it.  I have had cancer for 14 years and I have just started the 4th bout of it coming back.  Not only do I think people who are going through this would be interested, but I think people who care about people who are going through this and don't have a clue as to what to say and what to do might get something out of this.

I was a social worker and most of it was in health care.  One area I worked in got me very close and personal was in Hospice care.  This is care that provides comfort measures, the medications, the equipment and the staff to let families and patients know what was going on and that can allow people to die in the comfort of their own home if they desire.  I loved this work.  The staff and our supervisor were fabulous.  I still keep contact with my supervisor who was an RN.  She is very special to me.

I have to say I was overwhelmed with what was going on and I cried a lot for myself.  On the second bout, my husband died of cancer and I was really torn apart.  Do I cry for him or for me?  I felt incredibly selfish.  My breast cancer was estrogen receptor positive.  It was a stage II when first diagnosed and when my husband died, it was a stage IV, metastasized, stage IV.  Ugh!  I was told they would just keep me comfortable.  I would lie down and think "this is it", but then I wouldn't die.  It had moved to my neck and some in my chest wall.  I got radiation and it worked.  It did start moving another direction and when I told the radiologist, he agreed and I had more radiation.

By the second bout of cancer I was working in a prison.  It was fascinating, to see men who could be so big and yet so out of control.  I mainly worked on the psychiatric unit in the hospital.  There was a psychologist then who said I had to find a way to take control of my life.  It was the loss of control that was the biggest problem.  So I started looking.  I noticed there were some articles about diet and cancer and needing something to focus on, I did that.  It lead me to The China Study which I thought was fantastic.  I feel this country needs to make a change in how it sees food or we are going to go downhill even more.  So I focused on that and I do believe I've been around longer partly because of the changes in my diet.  Actually, I think all people should be doing this, the younger the better.

My third time was in 2011.  There was a tumor above where my left breast had been.  It was a lymph node.  When they ran tests on the tumor they found that it was not only estrogen receptor positive but also HER2 positive, another hormone which would allow me to take Herceptin, a drug found to be particularly effective on this type of cancer.  There was a chance that I was going to lick this thing, but not a chance.  It came back.  I had surgery this week and we will talk about any possible treatment on February 27.

I married late in life, because until Paul came along, there was no one I wanted to marry, so I didn't marry until I was 54.  We had been together for years, and I would have wanted to marry, but he panicked at the thought.  Finally he did ask me to marry him and we married in Thailand on one of our trips.  Paul and I traveled a lot.  We went to many countries in Europe, Russia, Thailand, Macau, Rome, Greece, Kenya, South Africa, Australia, Canada, Mexico and Argentina.  There were many other countries, but you can see, we got around and loved every minute of it, even when things weren't the greatest.  We looked upon everything as an adventure and it was.

Paul came into our relationship with five children who are now grown and have their own children.  I'm received differently by each of them.  I can handle that.  My closest relationship is with my oldest step-daughter.  She has really been there and is a wonderful support.  I also adopted my daughter as a single parent when she was 10 and I was 31.  She had a tough life which ended up being tough for me too.  She is now in Illinois and is carrying on in a way that is okay for her.  My daughter's son lives here and I see him some.  I'm sure he would like to spend more time with me, but I can handle only so much.  He is going to become a father, so that will make me a great grandmother perhaps in April.

Before I went into social work, I majored in music.  I loved it, but dropped out at the end of my junior year because of how I saw I was treated.  I played the bass.  There were many jokes about me playing bass that I finally reached a point I could hardly stand it.  Plus I was told I could become an elementary school teacher and perhaps I would get a chance to use my music there.  That had not been my plan.

So what do I do now?  I retired.  I had multiple things going on and it just became too much.  I started an art class locally and my art teacher is Carol Bradshaw who is a wonderful botanical artist and I can't tell you how fortunate I am to have her as a teacher.  I also signed up for a 5 week class at the Levin Institute because the price was right and there is a wonderful program in town called Art for Healing done at Mercy Hospital.  It doesn't matter if you are a particular religion or no religion.  All activities are to help you relax and focus.  They have different groups in art, singing, writing, acting, etc.  If new ideas come up that can be used, they will do it.  Sister Sherry Dolan is the head of this and she is fabulous.  Another thing I do is go to parks and do my art.  It is a wonderful outdoor setting.   I also fixed my back patio to make it my healing space.  I bought a fountain which looked ridiculous with nothing around it so I put some plastic cypress trees, and dried plants that had aromatic  leaves.  In addition I downloaded sounds of nature that would go on for an hour and put it on a Nano iPod just for what I want on the patio with a small speaker hidden in the trees which makes it all seem real transporting me to the place I want to me.  I have one beautiful chime that sounds great.  I can do my art there, read, have coffee or drink my wine.  I have an outdoor table for eating and I finally got a heater to make the space inviting when it is cold.  I love it.

I move a lot slower than when I was working and I'm glad to be doing that. 

I have a friend Sarah Seifert who is a psychologist and blogs about her family.  She has two young daughters.  One has autism and the other has schizophrenia.  I was watching her blog that made me feel I should do one.  She suggested that the first blog be about my surgery and said "Yes!"  But nothing exciting happened, so everything went smoothly with no issues.  I will tell you though that the previous time I was there with my daughter Shelley, a doctor came in after the IV was started and started to talk about my rectum.  We both looked at him blankly and said "wrong patient". 

My plan is to do this weekly on Sunday nights.   Feel free to ask me questions, I'll try to answer.  I also could get emotional sometime, so don't hold me to being a strong woman.  I do swear, but I'll try to control that.  See you next time.     Rachel