Great Gathering of Friends

This has been some week!  I continue to rest as much as I can and I have much less pain. The problem is, the more I move around, the more my lower back hurts. Oh well. My back is a chronic pain and I do know if I take it easy I do much better. As my physical therapist said, "take a break every 10 to 15 minutes".  That is easy to forget when at that moment I feel okay. 

My class with Carol Bradshaw went well.  She was complementary expressing amazement that I did what I did with one hand.   I was amazed too! Now we are on to drawing a parrot and have two weeks to do the drawing.

My friend Valerie and I went to Fresh Choice Noodle House for lunch (great as usual). Then we went to Home Depot to get a new faucet for my kitchen and after-market remote controls for three of my fans. She said she would attempt to do  the work this weekend if nothing came up. 

My friend Janet took me to see Dr. Wong for a scheduled appointment.  I had the pin removed. It was becoming uncomfortable which Dr. Wong said was good because the pin was moving and ready to come out.  He removed some of the dead skin, took an xray which showed calcification which is a good thing.  It was recast with a little more of my fingers showing which allows me to manipulate things better. He gave me a prescription for the pain pills.  Janet and I went to Mexicali's for their margarita and dinner.  Below are the pictures of my arm and wrist. 

So I didn't make an arrangement for someone to get my medications because I thought I would go get them. On Thursday, I stalled for two hours and then forced myself to go. It was okay, much better than I thought it would be. I don't think I'm ready to drive out of town.  But, it was a major step.

My granddaughter Kayla and her friend Mariah came by to visit after visiting a friend close by and to get o it of the heat.  Kayla is bored and wants to go on a trip. I told her I was out of commission this year. She said "how about camping?", I said "that too".  Maybe next year and I hope we can go to Martha's home.

Meaghan posted three wedding pictures done by the wedding photographer and the most recent picture of Conner. Very nice pictures. Meaghan and her mother adopted the four little children from a family member. They range from two to five. The middle ones are twins. Meaghan has had a lot of experience with little ones.

This weekend was great meeting with friends I used to work with. There were ten of us and I do believe it was a nice break for all of us. Since we still had time,  Annemarie and I headed to Main Street to go to this gourmet kitchen store. It is now closed on Sundays as are most of the other stores. We usually shop when we go, but no shopping this trip.  My friend Annemarie continues to fix up her little home. She has a good eye. This has turned out to be very cute.  Our group is looking to get together in November. I look forward to that.


While I was gone my friend Valerie got in one remote control on one of my fans. She needs to check on some things before finishing replacement of the faucet in the kitchen. So that is coming along.

My friend Janet picked me up at the train station. We went for our margaritas and and snack. That was a wonderful homecoming.

That's it for the week.  See you next week!          Rachel

Getting Back Into My Art

I really have been resting. So this was a forced break. I needed it.

Monday was my birthday and it was a pleasant one. I turned 65 so officially I'm eligible for all the senior discounts out there. My Kaiser Senior Advantage went into effect this month. There are some savings, but from what I had, it isn't that dramatic Had lunch and margaritas with my friend Janet Seinturier. I am still not driving, so if I go out someone has to do the driving. Shelley and my grandson Kevin came by in the evening with cheese cake we enjoyed together and a lovely gift of a coffee carafe. I look forward to doing a brunch and have coffee in this carafe.

I continued my celebrations. After my art class with Carol Bradshaw, Valerie and I ate at the Padre Hotel. We ate in the bar and the food was excellent. I had a salmon salad and Valerie had chile verde tacos. Then on Wednesday, Barbara Long and I ate vegetarian at Mama Roomba.  It is not noted as a vegetarian restaurant, but the non-meat choices are very good. They have a wonderful vegetable soup. We also had sautéed mushrooms and a mixed bean salad with oil infused with cilantro. It also tasted like it had finely minced garlic. Their mojitos are great, and, of course I had one of those.

This week I did work on my art. I have had little energy up to now so it was a nice change. I did draw the barn with silos and a waterfall with little detail. Next week we are working on parrots. As my teacher says "something is better than nothing", because it gives her a sense where I'm getting it and where I'm not.  Then she can give me feedback to improve my drawing.

I didn't need to return to the doctors office for the cast this week. The cast fits better and the break  is improving some, though I continue to take pain medications because it calms the pain down. Another interesting thing is that my back has just about become a non-issue. I have had a couple of twinges, but very minor. One of my friends thinks that it is because I've been doing a whole lot less than I had been doing.  I thought it was because my wrist hurts the worst at this time. I'll see when my wrist heals more.
My friend Lynn asked me how I was doing asking others for help. I will admit, it really is difficult to do. I would really rather be on the other side and helping others. I try to remind myself that I have no problem helping others when they need the help and I can help. I worry about being a burden on others. Now that I think about it, many seniors worry about being a burden on others. That is why I push to do what I can for myself. Valerie feels we have to be on the receiving end "to balance the universe". "Everyone needs to give and take" according to Valerie.  The other issue is when I need help for toileting issues  I've always been so private that this is particularly hard.  When I was in the hospital, I found them putting in a foley catheter to urinate an incredible invasion of privacy.  The nurses just looked at it as a procedure to do which helped some in not getting embarrassed.  I do know many people who don't find this embarrassing. So, this is not an easy subject. I would like to hear what others think. What would you do if you were in this spot?

Today my friend Valerie Slocum and I went to watch a movie called "Strangers in Good Company" at the Art and Spirituality Center.  Excellent as usual and great discussion afterwards.

I've had no contact with my grandson and his family except through the internet.  They have offered to come over to help, but I have resisted visits from everybody. I'm at the tail end of this cold. It is no longer waking me up in the middle of the night. But, they have been posting such cute pictures and I can't resist sharing them.

So next weekend I am meeting with people I used to work with which will be about 1 1/2 hours north..I'm taking the train. My friend Janet will get me to the station here and another friend Annemarie will pick me up. We have done this several times.  We make it a mini-vacation. The hotel is very pleasant with a nice pool. Since I have a cast, all I'll be doing is dangling my legs in the water. The restaurant Tommy's is also a pleasant setting and my memory of eating here is very good. We expect our group to be a little smaller than usual, but I can't remember a time when it wasn't a great gathering.

Valerie Schultz wrote a good article in the Bakersfield Californian on grief that I would like to share.  I felt this with my losses.  I believe many of you will relate to it.  :

Valerie Schultz on grief

Thursday, Jul 03 2014 01:19 PM
VALERIE SCHULTZ: Grief is dark shadow over these early summer weeks
By The Bakersfield Californian

My sister calls it the trifecta, although without the happy connotation of that word: the window of time every year from Father's Day in June to our dad's birthday in July. In between is Independence Day, the date of our dad's death. The trifecta covers about a month. It is our yearly time of intensified grief, when we are reminded that we are fatherless, and we relive the days leading up to his death, and we regret that there are no more of his birthdays to celebrate. I'm always glad when the trifecta is over. It's not that I miss my dad any less during the rest of the year; it's just that the loss doesn't seem as in-your-face once the trifecta passes.

This year is the fifth trifecta, and I have learned that time does not really soften the ache. But then I think of my dad's simple, sunny outlook on life, and I know that he would want us to focus less on the bitter and more on the sweet. Our extended family has had some bad blood among its members since my dad died, but we've also had weddings and anniversaries and graduations. We've had new babies born.

My dad was a fantastic grandpa, and he would have doted on these miraculous additions as much as he adored my daughters. He taught me to appreciate the whole "circle of life" concept, just by the way he'd sit back at family gatherings and marvel at the little ones running around the pool, at the noise and laughter of people enjoying time together, at the palpable life in our midst. "This is what it's all about," he'd say, smiling fondly and taking in the progress of his progeny.

My dad was right: Life blazes on and holds us in thrall with its bounty and blessings. Our family has journeyed on without his physical presence, and we even feel completely happy at times.

And who would have imagined that my mother, in her 80s and in frail health, would find a boyfriend? But she has, and she seems content in this new chapter of her life. Sometimes I want to resent her boyfriend, as though it's his fault that my dad is gone, as though he could ever replace my dad, but I know my dad would tell me to let it go.

One of my sisters has speculated that maybe our dad somehow arranged from the afterlife for this new guy to take care of his wife, since he was no longer around to do it. Maybe so: It would be like him to have picked a fellow Navy man.

I feel pensive during the trifecta. I suppose we learn at an early age that whenever love is involved, there will be loss. We lose our pets. We lose our oldest relatives. We lose our innocence. We lose our illusions. Sometimes we lose the very youngest among us, which is an even deeper sort of pain.

But we continue to love, and risk the consequences, because life is hollow without love. Our loved ones expand our hearts, elicit our loyalty, engage our selflessness, enlarge our life experience. We can't ignore death, especially a death that pains us so, but we can accept it as a stage of the life that stubbornly burgeons and blooms.

My siblings and I visit our dear departed dad's grave under the reliably shady oak tree every 4th of July. We bring flowers, breathe a prayer, maybe read a poem or play a song. We aren't much in the mood for corn-on-the-cob and parades and fireworks, but our dad really loved all that jazz, all that patriotic zeal, so we try.

When night comes and the fireworks are finished, the trifecta is two-thirds over for another year. Life will continue to delight us and inspire us and challenge us and occasionally break our hearts, and we will try to handle it all with the grace we were taught, and that we must now pass on to our children.

"Let grief be your sister, she will whether or no," writes the poet Mary Oliver, in "Flare," the poem that I brought this year graveside. "Rise up from the stump of sorrow, and be green also / like the diligent leaves."

Life really is a circle, a vine twirling and twining onto itself, and we all flower along the way, from life to death to life. We may never quite stop grieving when we lose someone we love, but with each day, we feel ourselves turning toward the light.

Living fully, being "green also," is how we honor those who have gone before us, how we keep the arc of the circle climbing.

This husband takes pictures of his wife who eventually died with breast cancer.  I felt it was nicely done and touching.

Captures Love and Loss Beautifully


That's it.  I'll see you next Sunday.             Rachel

Getting Locked Out

The previous week I had the splint changed out for a cast. I felt my arm sliding up and down and felt my wrist wasn't getting support which caused a lot of pain. Went in on Monday and a new cast was made that went about an inch higher.  I still had the same problem. Then one more time, two days later, the wrapping and cast were made a little tighter and it is about three inches above my elbow. I thought it was two weeks from the first cast, but it was only one!  This is going to be a long period!  I'm trying to keep my mind off of it. Kind of hard to do because I can feel it and it is uncomfortable.

My daughter Ronda helped me take a shower while she was here. I learned from that and set myself up like she had.  It worked. I used the IV pole with an exercise rubber band to hold up my cast in a plastic bag. I have a shower chair and made sure everything was within hands reach. It worked!  What a relief!  So cleanliness is not going to be a problem.

My daughter Ronda was set to leave Monday night at seven pm. That morning I get an email that the flight was completely changed to Tuesday morning at 5:50  a.m.. I was feeling overwhelmed with this hour and discussed her taking a taxi. She called one that agreed to pick her up at 4:00 am.  Ronda called later in the day after leaving and said there was something wrong with the plane in Denver and they had everyone get off while they found another plane. She didn't get home until 7:00 pm, but I was relieved it did work out.

In the mean time I set up my schedule and bought my tickets to see my brother Ben and my friend Lynn Repasky.  If my trip has any of the problems my daughter had, I will never use United Airlines again.  I am doing it from Bakersfield because I'm not sure I can handle a complicated trip.

Art class was good as usual. I did not work on my barn at all. Perhaps later. Now we are working on a waterfall.

I ended up getting a sore throat and fever which went on from a head cold to a chest cold. I'm usually not around so many people, especially children that I had forgotten all the bugs going around.  I seem to usually miss this, but close contact breeds the bugs. 

My family and friends have helped a lot.  They have taken me to appointments, straightening things, cut veggies, etc.  it makes a big difference.

I have a little less pain. It's difficult  to focus on much else when I'm in pain. It needs to come down more, then I'll be able to focus on other stuff.  I'm hopeful that this is happening.

So it was a slow week which was appreciated. I didn't feel well enough to have much excitement.  But yesterday my front door refused to lock and I called a locksmith to fix it. When he came, I asked if he would rekeyi the lock into the garage which he did. Today I walked into the garage to get the bleach and found myself locked out if the house. I told my brother about this last time and he sent me something to hide my key.  I looked for an hour without luck and walked to my neighbors homes in my pajamas to see if someone would take me to Barbara's home since I didn't have her phone number. It was the fifth house that answered my knock. This is the first time I met Diane who said "how can I help you"?  She was very willing to drive me to Barbara's home. Unfortunately she wasn't home. Diane said I could use her computer. So I was able to get to Yahoo mail and my contacts were there. I called Sherry who luckily was in town. She was laughing over what happened, but came 15 minutes later to let me in and she found the key in its hiding place.  Diane and I agreed that we would exchange keys to have someone close by to help.

So that's it for the week. I'll see you next Sunday.      Rachel.

Sore Arm and a Wedding

Meaghan and Billy had to change plans for their wedding. They brought it back to Bakersfield since Conner had been ill.  It was held in the yard of a lovely home using the maids quarters to get the food set up and for Meaghan, our bride to get ready. The weather was very cooperative. Meagan's grandmother Sherran Toy was the minister and did a fabulous job. The grounds were gorgeous. I kept feeling I had been here before, but that there were more trees when I'd been there before.  Yep, this was where Karen and Tom Peltier used to live. My husband and I along with four other couples used to get together monthly at each other's homes for dinner and red wine. I have fond memories of that.  Meaghan was a beautiful bride, Billy so handsome!  The food was excellent. The decorations were very nice. It was just a lovely wedding and will now be wonderful memories.

Flower Girls Alyssa, MeLeigha and Constance (Coco) Meaghan, Sherran, Billy and Ian

Meaghan and Billy with Sherran

Meaghan and Billy

Conner and Meaghan's sister

Flower Girls, Bible Bearer and Minister/Grandmother

Ian (Meaghan's Brother) and Meaghan

Ronda and Billy

Rachel and Billy

Rachel and Billy

Billy and Gavin Payne

Beautiful Table

They each poured sand in here showing how they will work together

Last weekend my phone kept ringing with the same number.  I finally answered and this man was saying they were picking up malware on my computer stopping all my Windows programs. They said I had to take care of it immediately and that there were 12 computers using my internet. I couldn't understand how this could be but finally got frightened enough to agree to fix it. Yes I fell for all this and can't believe I could be sooooo naive.  I am on pain pills. Maybe that was part of it.  So I stupidly agreed to pay $600 for a lifetime of caring for my computer and gave them remote access. This was for all my items with computer access. First computer supposedly done. Go to second computer and the monitor goes black. I can't figure what is going on and I said I needed to get my son-in-law over here because I really was not understanding and he could talk to them. Then I started feeling pushed when I couldn't reach Michael and told them I'd call them the next day and I hung up. My cousin Steve calls and I tell him I'm too upset to talk because of what I think is computer fraud and I fell for it. Now I'm crying. He said call credit card company and call him back. My crying got worse with all this. I felt vulnerable and really stupid. The bank lady said take a deep breath, then we'll talk. She transferred me to the fraud dept.  I said I disputed the charges and told them what I did. They reversed this bill, canceled my credit card and told me what to expect. This was all a relief but not the end of the problem.  I took the computer to The Geek Squad (as my cousin Steve recommended) and they found several viruses on both computers and cleaned it all up. Then I changed my passwords. My daughter threatened this internet place when they called today. Hopefully they won't call back.  Ronda hooked my computers back up. It did turn out that one of my monitors did go out which I'll deal with next.

My friend Valerie came to take me to my art class this and then to The Geek Squad.  I had not worked on any art, though, one day I attempted to start. We worked on doing a fence.  I really can't do much work because my cast is in the way. I did get my friend Barbara Long to come over and glue non-skid rubber to the back of one mat and on the back of a 12 inch ruler.  I got my pine cone back framed.  It is amazing how much better everything looks framed.  While there Toni Lott framed two other pictures. What a great job and reasonably priced!  Val and I went across the street to Mama Roomba for lunch (I just love this place!).

My friend Janet took me for a follow-up visit with the surgeon Dr. Wong. My appointment was at 4 pm. Got there about 3:45. We did't get called back until after 6 pm.  Questions I asked were can I go visit my brother in Connecticut in September (yes). When can I drive (when I'm not on narcotics).  Can I get physical therapy to work on balance (sounds like a good Idea).  Found out a fellow doctor friend of theirs lost his wife to breast cancer and they took a day off for the funeral and a child set off the fire alarm that day forcing everyone out of the building for about a half hour. I missed my Red Hat ice cream social at Dewars.

I got a cast above the elbow. Though Janet and I thought it looked horrible (there was a green drainage),  Dr. Wong assured us it was okay. No smell. It was very sore and I was glad to get back into a cast to support it. We went to Mexicali's by 7:30 for dinner and a weak margarita.  I think we both felt our heads would fall in the food.  When Janet got me home, I crawled in bed and was out like a light. 

Independence Day celebration was at my home. I was expecting fireworks display at Bakersfield College, but one of my friends Evelyn Elliott told me it was canceled. They are doing construction, so that was the reason. Billy picked up a box of fireworks. Dainette (Meaghan's mom) Meaghan, Billy with five children (including Conner), 5 years and younger, Shelley with Kevin, Jennifer with Kayla and Devin, Ronda and me made up the group.  Shelley and Ronda took care of the food, Billy barbecued. There was a nice breeze which made the heat more tolerable.  It all turned out very well and when everyone left, I fell asleep instantly.  I just seem to max out, and that's it.

Jennifer, Shelley and Coco

Alyssa, Meleigha and Gavin

Meaghan

Billy

Cousins Devin and Kevin

Shelley, Jennifer with Coco and Kayla

Conner at 12 weeks

Dainette

Ronda and Conner

Rachel, Coco, Meaghan with Conner

So I was watching this wonderful documentary that I recorded on PBS.  This young man had this job as a documentarian. He traveled over the world. He one day couldn't get up from sitting on the sand and others had to help him get up. So this is his documentary about finding out he has MS and how he takes as much control of his life despite the continued decline from the disease.  Very touching. It is universal.  It was shown on POV (stands for point of view on June 24, 2014. The title is "When I Walk".  Look for it.

Here is a wonderful article about why you should ask a physicist to speak at you funeral. I spoke with my physicist friend Michael Feit. He has agreed to do this.  I think I have brought this up earlier, but if you haven't seen it, check it out.




Ask a Physicist to Speak at Your Funeral


I have really had an achy week. Last night was particularly rough and I'm not doing the work!  Ronda has helped me a lot while she has been here. I've been very short and snippy with her and I apologize for this. She says "Oh, mom, don't worry about it. I'm not taking it personally. I know you don't feel good". I'm appreciative she understands. I am so appreciative of family and friends who have tolerated me and been so helpful.  I really think this would be a "no go" without the support I have gotten. What's difference it makes.

I have a friend who made an interesting comment saying she liked her boring life and would find this overwhelming.  Actually I agree with her. It might make it an interesting story, but the stress of it is really too much. I would have scheduled the wedding for a much later date and I think I would have rescheduled Independence Day to October first. I was glad that the wedding was not at my home and I was glad I was not the photographer.  Billy said they realized right away that they had to change plans. I'm so appreciative I didn't have to bring it up though I understand that I also have to get much better at saying "no".

Tomorrow, Monday,  Ronda returns home (Illinois). Billy, Meaghan and Conner will join us for breakfast at Cindy's.  This was a good visit despite the pain and I was glad it all happened. Now is time to put the emphasis on healing as my teacher Carol Bradshaw states. 

The Bakersfield Art Association is offering a variety of one day classes for $35 each in a variety of media. Check out what they are offering below and if you live in Kern County in California consider. This includes the supplies. You need to pre-register because they need to make sure they have enough supplies. Having taken classes since September and meeting many of these very talented artists, I believe you would enjoy this. It is a way to try your hand in a particular art medium without committing a lot of resources to find out if it is for you. Then, if it is, you'll have an idea of what it involves. I will be signing up for as many I can. Perhaps I'll see you there!


ART SAMPLER SERIES at the BAA Art Center
With Bates, Bradshaw,  Lott, Mathie, Neil, and Oliver

Many people who think about taking art classes aren’t sure what they want to take.  This is your chance to find out with this special series of classes….take one or all of them!  Do you want to draw/paint/ watercolor/oil/acrylic/oil pastel or something completely different like mosaics?

Come and play around and just have fun with the possibilities!

All classes are held at the BAA Art Center, at 1817 Eye Street. Cost of the classes is: $35.00 each, and include all materials needed for the class.  Pre-registration is required because of the materials.  Please contact the class instructor.

Pen and Ink: “Playing with Pen and Ink” with Jim Bates, This class  will explore different methods of using permanent ink pens in drawing and inking in your art work.  Examples will be cross hatching, stippling, scribbling, small/large lines etc.  We will ink the same subject using only one of the methods per drawing.  Class is Thursday, July 31st from 1-4 pm. For additional information or to register contact:  Jim Bates at 6612-871-7640 or jab888’s@gmail.com

Drawing: “What You Can Do with a Pencil!!”  with Carol Bradshaw  Experiment with all of the different marks you can make with a pencil and find out what the different kinds of drawings you can do!  Drawing can be done with pencil, colored pencil, pen and ink, charcoal, crayon, pastel , etc. Class is Thursday, July 24th from 1-4 pm.  For additional information or to register contact:    Carol Bradshaw at 760-376-6604 or bradshawartist@earthlink.net

Watercolor: “Splash and Play”  with Norma Neil In this class students will learn basic wash techniques and play with techniques that add sparkle, texture, mood and personality to the painting. Students will end with an 11x14 watercolor suitable for framing.
Class is Thursday, August 7th from 1-4 pm, For additional information or to register contact:    Norma Neil at 661-283-1376 or nneil2@att.net

Oil Pastel: “Drawing and Painting with Oil Pastel”  This inexpensive and versatile medium can be used for drawing or painting. It works like soft pastel, without the dust, but can be blended with other mediums such as oil, acrylic and watercolor paints Oil pastel is a fun medium that can be used for expressively for drawing or for completing rich finished paintings.  Class is Thursday, August 14th from 1-4 pm. For additional information or to register contact:  Phyllis Oliver at: Phone 661-348-4717 or pegoliver@ix.netcom.com

Acrylic: “ Acrylics are Easy!: with Toni Lott, This class is just pure fun playing around with acrylics.  It is a very forgiving medium- you can paint over your mistakes! You will be surprised at what you can do! Class is Thursday, August 21st, from 1-4 pm.  For additional information or to register contact:  Toni Lott at 661-205-3488 or tlframer@gmail.com

Mosaics: “Mosaic Brief”  with Leslie Mathie,  Come and try out mosaics and all of the fun that can be achieved with them.  This is a chance to do a” hands on” project.  Class is Saturday, August 9th from 9-12 pm. For additional information or to register contact:  Leslie Mathie at 510-914-6897 or leslie@mathiemosaic.net




Thank you for reading and I'll see you next week.        Rachel

A Bad Fall

I'm going to keep this in the order that events took place. I have generally been adding material as events occur so I'd rather continue that. There was no blog last Sunday because I had surgery that day. The specifics you will get below.

One of my sisters expressed alarm at what I was writing believing that my situation wasn't looking good thinking that I might be actively dying because the writing in my last blog seemed very negative to her. I would like to assure you I am not actively dying at this point. I just know this is my future (as it is for all of us) and I have decided to talk about my situation, what I'm thinking, reading and discussing regarding the subject of death and dying.  So, this is not meant to alarm people, however, I believe this is a common response of many people because of the difficulty of this subject in the American culture. We are so far removed from this until something happens and many people who can be further removed excise themselves from these situations to get back to a life not disturbed by difficult subjects. My thought was the more you inundate yourself in this, the less scary it is. I also don't want to pretend all is okay and be hit again with the news "it's back", and be stunned by this. Two times of that was enough, and I had more than that. This is a much better way for me, and I believe a lot of people around me, so we can be open and support each other in tough times.

B. Smith was on CBS News Sunday Morning. A once fabulous chef, dealing with Early Alzheimer's now.  She and her husband are shining the light on dealing with Alzheimer's and taking it out of the closet.  We need more people to share their experiences to help others going through a difficult time whatever the situation.  There are other people who need to hear so they are encouraged to talk and get the support they need.  I appreciate those willing to be so open which helps others to do the same. Follow the link below to see the news item. It was well presented.

B. Smith and Her Diagnosis of Alzheimers


I had a pleasant talk on the phone with my daughter Ronda Sheldon who had bought her dress for the wedding suggesting we use the hot tub at the hotel.  She will leave early the day of the wedding with Billy to help in setting up.  My plan was to go a little later, check in to the hotel and be there an hour before the wedding. She also plans to see her biological brother and sister while she is here. She's going to be one busy woman!  But she's younger and can handle it.

Talked with my step-mom Kate Gaman. She is in the midst of doing a major kitchen remodel in her home. She plans on sending pictures. The cupboards and many of the appliances are there being stored in her garage and brought in as they are ready to deal with the next step.  Her car is about to be squeezed out of her garage. In the mean time, she has had much "stuff" hauled away. She has boxed what she has in the kitchen, but while doing this has found more "stuff" to get rid of perhaps by hauling. For me, it has been moving that caused me to get rid of the most.  When I decided to go through my pictures, I got rid of a trash can full of pictures; not the people shots, but places I had been. I have saved some for drawing at a later date.  This process has discombobulated her and her cats. It is stretching out much longer than she understood and costs have gone up as problems have occurred such as plumbing issues.  I understand that this is so common with remodel projects. My concern is that she feel free to use her monies saved for retirement if she needs.  It is her money.

Gutted Kitchen

Cupboards Going In

Had my last session with Norma Neil,  Used pastels and some water to soften it. Sister Sherry is leaving The Art for Healing program.  Several of us decided to put a picture that we each did in this class on cards we will give her.  We are thanking her for what she did because we all felt we had experiences that were good for each of us in growing and healing. She is the one that made it happen.  Below are the leaves I did with pastels, wet and dry.

My brother Ben and I have talked about getting together this year, but this time I would go see him in Connecticut.  We agreed to September for about a week and I'll work on that.  He's doing well. I enjoyed talking with him and look forward to the visit.

My art class with Carol Bradshaw was very good.  Carol, my fellow classmates Deb and Wayne were soooo complementary of my beach scene. Even my step mom Kate thought it was very good; they were saying it was "artistic, had attitude and panache". These are very overwhelming words when you see the detailed work these people do. I love what they all do. Okay, so I'm trying to own it. The big thing for me was that I never thought I could do this.  I'm also having my pine cone framed. I have framed some photographs I have taken, but this is a first for drawing.

Beach

Jury Duty was delayed, so it didn't affect my ability to attend my art session and class.  I was very happy about that.  However, on the day that I was told to return to a specific court room for jury selection, June 19,  I fell on my driveway walking back up to the house. My driveway is relatively steep and I was wearing sandals  with a two inch or so block heal. I fell off the side of these shoes (really nothing unusual for me). I tried to get up and was having a lot of pain in my wrist. Periodically I was seeing blood pool out and then I became aware that my wrist seemed completely detached from my hand and even my arm. It so freaked me out I wanted to throw my hand away from me but realized I would cause myself more problems if I did that. My adrenalin was running very high and I was able to get up. I went in my house looking for my cell phone. I didn't just locate it. I was hyperventilating and forced myself to breathe more normally.  Finally located it and called Shelley, at her work. She wasn't in at the moment by was expected at any moment.  I described my situation and believed the man understood it was serious. Shelley called back quite fast and she said she would be right over.

I sat with paper towels over it to attempt to keep the blood under control.  When she got there, she said, "yep, I think we have to go to the ER".  I still had on my pajamas and a robe. I couldn't see how I could get out of this myself.  So this is what I wore until I was finally admitted to a hospital two days later.

So in the ER they saw it was bad and took me back right away.  I was put on an IV pain med which helped immensely.  During our wait, we called the courthouse and let them know I wouldn't be back and why. Shelley wrote a short status report for Facebook and my blog letting them know I probably wouldn't have a post that Sunday. We also called family and some friends to let them know.  Finally they rounded up several people and they said they were going to put the bones where they needed to be. They assured me I'd be out but that it would go fast about 20 minutes. I have no memory of closing my eyes. I felt I was in a spaceship with very bright lights and I heard talking but couldn't make sense of what I heard.  Little by little I could identify where I was and what they were saying. I was shocked to look at my arm and see it wrapped up. They said I would be discharged home with oral antibiotics since it was an open fracture.  We were also told to call Kaiser Permanente to see an orthopedic surgeon who deals with hands.

Shelley called when we got home to get a surgeon. Shelley situated me in bed while she went to pick up pain medication and antibiotics.

We weren't called back by Kaiser and I called at one pm the next day, Friday.  They gave me the name of Dr Wong and made an appointment for Saturday at nine am. I was told not to eat or drink after midnight in case I went into surgery. Okay   So this is set up. In the mean time my arm really hurts and I don't know if I'm overreacting or not. I call my friend Barbara Long to come over and see if she thought it was a problem. She agreed we needed to go to Urgent Care. We didn't have to wait long. I said I wanted my arm re-wrapped very lightly. This doctor was afraid of something being cut or put in the wrong place. We asked if circulation could cause a problem too and he said yes. "Then I want this loosened now". He took me to another room and asked me to lie on my stomach. He thought if my arm was pulled down, it was less likely to cause a problem. With my friend overseeing this and two other staff helping, he got below the table to unwrap and rewrap. Though my fingers remained swollen, I didn't feel they were going to fall off. Barbara and I stopped at a coffee shop for food. I had not eaten, but I didn't think I could. I had a tuna sandwich and when I got home, I crawled in bed and was out.

Shelley picked me up the next morning and we went to see Dr. Wong. He said I should have been admitted to the hospital from the ER because it was an open fracture. He wanted me admitted to another hospital where he had admitting privileges. It turned out I couldn't have surgery that day because I take Coumadin for a blood clot. They decided they would give me frozen packed plasma to lower my Coumadin level that day at the hospital and then have surgery eight am on Sunday.  I was in that ER for hours.  My friend Janet Seinturier said "take a pain pill!!"  Believe it or not, it seemed the closest water fountain was in the lobby to the hospital!  I thought fountains would be more convenient. My friends Sherry Dolan and Valerie Slocum dropped by hen I was in an actual ER room with a gurney. I got a bed late in the evening.  IVs were started for pain and antibiotics. Much later I was given the frozen packed plasma.  I guess there were no other surgeries scheduled the next day, so I waited on a gurney in the halls of the surgery suites. I was introduced to people and then I don't remember anything.

I slept most of the day. If I wanted to pee, they "straight cathedral" me each time. That was very painful. I tried to get up to pee, bit nothing would ever happen. On Monday, Dr. Wong and the hospital it's came by. I was told that the skin under the splint was covered with blisters and he had to cut them all off. He believed this was caused by a too tight splint and the heat under this splint.  I still couldn't pee on my own and when I finally did later in the day it was a dribble. It wasn't enough and they insisted I wait until Tuesday. I requested a foley catheter for overnight understanding I could get an infection, and they finally gave in to my request. I drank lots of cranberry juice and water and did a couple of laps around the floor.  The catheter was taken out at eight am and I never had problems peeing later. My friend Janet Seinturier brought stick veggies while I was there. I felt I was getting raw veggies my body craved. I was discharged late afternoon and my friend Sherry Dolan took me home. Barbara Long met us there and picked up my medications. My daughter Shelley Schmitt also came over to make sure medications were put in a medicine tray.

One item I used in the hospital that was given to me when I was discharged was a small color that most people have to keep foods col when they put ice in it for picnics. This one had a rubber tube attached to a pad that was wrapped around my wrist/arm. Ice and water are in the ice chest. There is an electric hook up and this chilled water is pumped through to keep that area cooler. That helps like using frozen peas, but maybe a little longer and not having to fiddle with it as much.  A very strange affect I have had hanging my arm has been that I sense it next to me rather than hanging  I have sensed this several times and have to see it to believe where it is  it has made me think about people who have had an amputation and experience phantom pain.  The unreality of it is similar.

So this time has been figuring out how to do things with one arm and hand. I am so fortunate for my family and friends. Even with those that are limited to talking on the phone. I actually am not sure if I could have been home without these supports. I can't drive, and that is very limiting. I'm still trying to arrange a ride to and from my art class. I'm also donating all my heals.  Flats and tennis shoes for now on.   When you really feel lousy, it is hard to get worked and looks you get when you are wearing the same pajamas and robe to doctors offices. ER s. and restaurants  Generally, I do think of appropriate dress.  It just drops way down on the list of priorities when more important issues come up.  I felt all the medical staff to be caring.  I'm not sure systems always work well.  Lots of waiting and delays.  I think it can be very difficult for patients and families to advocate for themselves when they are in the middle of a crisis- like having to call to get a surgeon.  It also felt like staff were being pushed to its limit which is when more mistakes occur.  I'm a retired social worker and believe I have a better grasp of the situation, and, it turned out to be very difficult for me.

My grandson Billy Lane realized I couldn't be the photographer for the wedding and they made other arrangements. This took a lot of pressure. I'm glad he brought it up. He was also giving me an out for going to the wedding. But I really wanted to go. My friend Barbara Long agreed to go. She will drive me and stay with me. So we will ask for a roll out bed for Ronda, Barbara and me.

In the mean time my great grandson Conner, age 11 weeks has pneumonia and was admitted to the hospital on Friday. Poor baby!  Loving parents Billy and Meaghan  and Meaghan's mom Dainette are there with Conner and at this point we don't know if plans are going to change.

You might also wonder how I am typing this. I am using my iPad typing with one finger in the notes section.  I'm about to transfer it to my computer and then paste it to the blog program. Then I will transfer a couple of pictures.

I appreciate your reading and if you find yourself limited in what you took for granted, how are you handling it?  One thing I was fortunate to get was an IV pole through my daughter Shelley.  She called her friends and someone had an old one in their garage. With cloth around the splint held by heavy duty elastic bands with a knot at the top so I can hold my arm up better. It is difficult for me to keep my arm up on pillows when trying to sleep. Pillows slid off the bed or my arm fell between pillows.

See you next Sunday with probably a lot to share.  Rachel

Good morning, this is Shelley, I am at San Joaquin Emergency Room with Rachel. She took a fall on the driveway this morning and broke her wrist. Thankfully it is her right wrist. They just started an IV and gave her some pain Meds . Will keep you posted once she has x-rays. It is definitely broken though.

A Change of Plans Regarding the Wedding

Well there is a change of plans regarding the wedding.  My grandson Billy contacted me right after I posted the plans and asked me if they could do their wedding at the beach.  "This is not my wedding.  You can do this however you please" .  He informs me that they have decided to do it at Pismo Beach.  The time went from seven to four in the evening.  Four is much better.  I made a reservation at a hotel because I don't think I can hang in there to drive home.  I didn't know you could make late arrangements for a wedding at the coast.  I suppose maybe it can just be a park setting, though I wonder if they can get into a restaurant.  I say a picnic instead, but it isn't my choice.  I'm really okay that it isn't at my home.  I understand the group was continuing to grow.

The plan was to meet three friends, Janet, Charmaine and Lisa at Muertos.   Lisa called Janet the day before and wanted to change it to Thursday.  I understand she wanted to get her vegetable garden in before getting together.  I understand that, but I couldn't do the change.  I can't eat out two times in a day. I felt bad, but I schedule gatherings so I don't overwhelm myself in a day.  I am learning to set limits, but it is hard.  I know some of my friends would think that couldn't be true because I'm so outspoken, but maybe it depends on the issue.   I still met with Janet that day. Always great getting together.

Had a session on drawing flowers with Norma Neil. I drew an incredibly huge and oddly shaped sunflower one of the women brought in. I kept smearing it, even when I put a barrier between my arm and the paper. I was using charcoal and pastels. Now I think I'll use a workable fixative that you can draw on for each layer. Below if the photo of the huge, misshapen sunflower.  From the back it looked like two sunflowers that joined together.  Lots of fun and relaxing.  One drawing class left.  I have gotten the notice for jury duty starting that Monday, but when I called this weekend, I got a reprieve.  I'm to call Monday night.

My beach scene in Carol Bradshaw's class is coming along.  Carol likes it, but wants me to soften the lines around the ball, and, I need to put more values (shades), particularly darker.  I have done the contour drawing of it several times. I tried sandpaper and put it under my drawing paper to give the sense of roughness for the sand. My plan was to draw the footprints and ball to not be affected by this. My fellow student Wayne and I message each other and I told him about it. He thought that was cleaver.  It didn't come through on the drawing paper like it did the tracing paper.  I let Wayne know and he suggested turning over the tracing paper to transfer the rough surface on the tracing paper to the drawing paper.  I had already finished my picture, so I didn't do it, but I will do that next time for that affect. Carol Bradshaw said she thought a lot during the week about my pine cone and she feels I should mat and frame it. Kind of stunned me. I don't think of what I do as being that good, but okay. I like that. She describes my drawing as having "attitude".  She wants me to erase around it and add just a piece at the bottom to not be so flat, so I'll do that and I will frame it.   I like that too!    At this time I don't know if I will be able to go to class this week or not because of Jury Duty.  I won't know until Monday night.  We have no class the following week.  Carol said to find a picture of a barn that we each could draw.  Deb, another member in our class but quite beyond us in expertise sent me several pictures.  I'm using the last one.  Good to work on a really weathered surface.

I saw this incredibly interesting pen that let's you copy a color exactly for hefty price of $150.  I'm not sure they are making it yet, but if not, it's coming out soon.  I'd wait to see what other people do with this.

Copy any Color in the World



Stella Young is a Disability Activist.  She feels that all too common compliment is actually an insult in disguise- the idea that just being handicapped makes you special.  She does not think so.  Well stated. It's siimilar to someone with a terminal diagnosis.  That does not make someone a hero.  I'm not a hero. At least not because I'm dying.  We are all going to die.  If anything, and really I don't think it is so spectacular, it would be talking openly about it.  I really just want to take it out of the closet.  Anyway, she really states it well in a TED talk.  I don't think people mean to be insulting.  They are just not in that position and so they can't imagine coping with what that person is coping with.  Those who have gone through it, don't see it the same way.

I'm Not Special


Jennifer offered for me to come over for dinner, but I had already gone out with Janet and I declined. Later I get a call from Kayla that the pipes backed up and they couldn't stay there and could they come over. Sure. Picked up things they needed from home and went to the store to get a couple additional food items  It ended up being two nights.  My cats were in hiding during this time.  I felt somewhat displaced.  I'm so used to being alone now.  I worry that family want to move in and take care of me.  I certainly don't want that.  The plumbing problem is still not fixed as far as I know.  My grandson Devin came over yesterday for a shower.  I hope they fix this soon.  If anyone knows, if it ends up being covered by insurance, and let's say they have to go through the floor to pipes and the floor is destroyed, wouldn't they take responsibility to fix this so the house is whole again?  Really do need to know.  I'll pass the info on if you have something to share.

I found this wonderful saying on Facebook.  It came from The Mind Unleashed, but I have no idea who was the specific person who said it, but it is wonderful.

LIFE'S JOURNEY IS NOT

TO ARRIVE AT THE

GRAVE SAFELY IN A 

WELL PRESERVED BODY,

BUT RATHER TO SKID IN

SIDEWAYS TOTALLY

WORN OUT, SHOUTING

"HOLY SHIT...WHAT A

RIDE!"

This is a wonderful article "How We Grieve" by Maria Popova and a review of the book "The Long Goodbye" by Meghan O'Rourke written in 2011.  I have not read the book but I did order it.  It is not available on Kindle.

How We Grieve


By the way, Brain Pickings is a wonderful site to find some excellent thoughtful writing. They would love donations for the hundreds of hours of research they do for us.  You'll see when you check it out.

Today my friends Sherry and Valerie came over for a late lunch.  I made an asparagus quiche and a toma basil salad.  We had  a great Pinot Noir with it. It was wonderful sharing and laughing the way we used to be.  I talked about getting all of us together again and doing a barbecue, perhaps salmon.  I have wonderful memories of doing this.  I also thought it would be great to share the pictures we may have taken during that time.  I would love that.  We are old time friends from over 30 years ago.  There are a couple of other women who were a part of this group.  We worked on writing a paper requesting a grant to start a half-way home for older women dealing with alcoholism that wanted and needed help to stop. Our grant was not approved, though we only submitted it to one place, so I don't think we gave it enough of a try.  But that experience, which was about a year, bonded us together and is a meaningful part of my life.   This is one of those group friendships you don't want to lose.  I hope we can get together with the other two in the near future.

My granddaughter Kayla and a girlfriend of hers are going with me next Saturday to my friend Martha's home which abuts a river.   We are going to camp there and partake in the food, people and festivities.  It was wonderful last year.  I think the girls will get a kick out of this.

Well, that's it for the week.  I hope you share this with people who might be interested.  I'm happy you read it.  Any thoughts on what to include, or not to include are appreciated.  I'll see you next Sunday.        Rachel