A Tough Time for a Lot of People

This week has been very nippy, but the sky is very blue. It is around eleven in the morning this Sunday and it is 39 degrees. I don't think of it being that cold when the sun is so bright. 

So on Monday I had Occupational Therapy. I have a little more range of motion. Next session is New Years Eve Day. 

For the rest of the day I made fudge. Three sets of books I got for my grandkids came from The United Kingdom and the other from Sweden. It was amazing that they came from so far away. Two of the sets gave me a huge window of delivery saying they could come as late as January 20.  so I had been trying to figure out what I'd do if it didn't come, so I was okay. 

On Tuesday I wrapped presents and got the items I wanted to make roasted vegetables and a green salad for Christmas at Shelley's home. That evening I went to a surprise birthday party for my grandson Billy at Rusty's Pizza. I gave them their Christmas presents to take home. 

Billy's birthday (with his son Conner) is Christmas Day but it is done earlier to celebrate his day

Conner loves to stand up

Christmas Day I finished my wrapping, got the food prepared that I was taking and took the fudge I made and wine to my daughter Shelley's home a little after 4 pm.  Dinner was ready a little after 5 pm.  An amazing accomplishment!  Her home was decorated very nicely.  Great snacks and dinner was fabulous. We opened presents before eating. Everyone had a great time. I had a couple of glasses of wine and was done for the evening. I got three of my grandkids books. I would like to do more of that, because I think reading is good for the soul. 

Crystal, Shelley, Kevin and me, Rachel

Sisters Shelley Schmitt and Jennifer Kline

Wes and Heather

Shelley and oldest daughter Alyssa

Wes, Heather, Alyssa, Jennifer and Devin

Kevin, Shelley and Heather

Kevin with mom Shelley

Heather had her 18th birthday on Saturday.  She graduated from high school when she was 16 1/2 years old.  She got loving wishes from the family and friends.

Heather with her dad Chris (acting silly)

On Saturday Barbara and I went to Chef's Choice for Thai food. Very good as usual. We walked around Eye and 19th Streets.  There is a new Sushi restaurant going in on 19th Street and The Bakersfield Art Association Center is moving around the corner to be on 19th Street also, by Kuka's and The Mark.  A very good move.  Not sure of the date, but the signs of the change are on the doors.

Barbara and I saw Annie at the Maya Theater. Very light weight, but neither of us wanted to see anything heavy. It worked well for us. Barbara's mom died last year and the holidays are a rough time.

My daughter Ronda prefers to do a Goth look in photos.  I prefer to see her smiling, so here is one with her niece Erin where they are playing around and also her Goth look.  She is pretty, I just like a smile and rarely see it in pictures.

                     

Erin and my daughter Ronda

Ronda with her Goth look, pretty but no smile!

So my great-grandson is now able to crawl, he also likes to stand, but he has to hold on to something.

Conner riding his horse

Conner with mom Meagan

Conner loves to Eat!

My grandson Devin, went Geocaching and actually found something!

Devin with his cousin Heather

Devin Found It!

Posts from friends who have had major losses share a sense of loneliness. One woman who lost her husband awhile back doesn't want to be around others while she feels so lonely. Having people around doesn't lessen this feeling for her. She would rather be alone. Another friend shares how when her parents were alive, they had enchiladas and tamales. They still do this but it doesn't taste quite the same and missing these key people in their celebration tones down the feelings they have had.

One thing I think of about dying is that we leave a little bit of ourselves with our contact with others.  I don't mean the biological connection.  I think we leave a mark that influences the next generation, so it is important to make memories and teach the next generation things we know that they wouldn't know without hearing it from someone who lived it. 

These tips are helpful to consider during the holidays. It is from The Grieving Tool Box:

Helping Yourself During the Holidays

The Light of Darkness

Christmas without a Loved One

How to Support Someone Going Through a Loss During the Holidays

So all these ideas are ones I have used at different times. I'm not exactly the same as I was before losing all these important people in my life. I had no choice, but I have grown a lot as a result of these losses.  Frankly, I'd be okay with being boring, but it was not to be!

A fascinating article in Salon.com (really interesting articles here!) on near death experiences and out of body experiences:

www.salon.com/2012/04/21/near_death_explained/

So that is it for the week.  I'm thinking of all of you and hope the holidays were okay for you.  If not, at least they are over which I really used to feel such relief about that.  I'll see you next Sunday.      Rachel

Helping One Woman

I feel much better. I'm so much less congested.  

At Occupational Therapy,  I did much better this week in moving my hand and fingers.  I was also able to schedule the sessions that were approved which will take me into January. Linda tested me and I am coming along, but when I pressed down with my left fingers (my dominant hand and injured) and could press 22 pounds. However, with my right hand, I could only press two pounds. So I really have to work on strength in addition to my flexibility.

I went to Helping One Woman in Visalia. The woman being honored was an LVN working at one of the prisons. She shared her experience and received a standing ovation. I felt she described what was helpful for her so well. I was selected to be honored at the next meeting in January.  I am very thankful and want to share what I have learned going through this experience and how I am coping with this. I hope I can share what this has all meant to me. I can assure you that I have grown a lot and believe that even though it has been traumatic it has also made me a better person.

This is Sara Becerra and her husband at the Helping One Woman dinner.  She is an
LVN at a prison and is currently battling cancer.  She spoke well and I identified with what she brought up,

Sara Becerra with her family

                                                        

Lydia, Susan, Martha, Me and Gracie at Helping One Woman.  They are my friends

I spent the night at Martha's home and then we saw the downtown of Woodlake. What a cute little town!  They have a mayor who has been applying for grants to be used to make their downtown area an enjoyable place to go. I believe he has excelled in his goal. 

Martha and I went to Susan's home in Exeter. Like Martha and her husband, Susan and her husband have done a great amount of work to make their homes homey and the grounds very special. Sue prepared a wonderful breakfast casserole with all the side dishes and finishing it off with a homemade cheesecake,  I feel so fortunate to have such great friends. 

My granddaughter-in-law Meagan asked if I would have the Reveal Party at my home. I agreed to this. Meagan and Billy were informed  of the gender of the new baby, male and shared the name they had selected for him Kason RoydelI.  I never heard about such an event but It was nice to involve family and friends.  It was a success. Meagan and Billy did not know if they were having a boy or girl. Her mom and a girlfriend are the  only ones who knew. No presents.  There were sandwiches, iced tea and lemonade. There were also blue and pink iced cupcakes, rice crispy treats, and candy in pink and blue. There were thirty adults here and a lot of kids. I'd say it was fun and was a success. 

Meagan and her mother Dainette setting up for the Reveal

There needed up to be 30 adults and I have no idea how many children, a lot!

So I went to the second and final session on Bounty of Pastels at the Art for Healing center. I worked further on the charcoal drawing and did a picture using water soluble graphite and pastels. 

Day Lilie lin Charcoal Revised

Containers drawn in Soluble Graphite

Vase in Soluble Graphite, Grapes in Pastels

These three are from a coloring book called Color Me Calm for Meditation and Relaxation.  Though it does help for this, I'm also doing it to work on coloring within the lines and to just experiment with various colors, what works with what.

Here is Conner , my great grandson in the car coming back from Texas in a very good mood. 

https://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.sherran/posts/10204481732914765:0

Here are a couple of pictures of Conner. 

Connor Orion Lane

Grandma Dainette and Conner on the way to Texas

My friend Barbara and I will have a late lunch at Bill Lee's, a popular Chinese restaurant. Then we will see Mockingjay. Both of us have read the series and have seen the previous movies. 

My granddaughter Cassadie met her boyfriend Bogart in Prague. They will make a trip to Paris. They are a wonderful couple. Both are graduating from college this year.  Cassadie is at the University of Oregon and Bogart is at the Claremont Colleges in California.  They are both doing very well. This relationship started in early high school. I'm so impressed that they put their education front and center. I know they will both do well. 

Bogart Avila and Cassadie Jerdin

So Thanksgiving is at my home. I know Shelley will be here. I don't know for sure who is coming, but I make the same amount (a lot), and if it isn't eaten, it becomes wonderful leftovers for those of us here for the event. 

I have made my patio pleasant and have an outdoor heater which really helps. Of course we will be more mostly indoors, but this expands the area where people can be comfortable. 

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I always enjoy this holiday.   See you next Sunday.    Rachel

Getting Locked Out

The previous week I had the splint changed out for a cast. I felt my arm sliding up and down and felt my wrist wasn't getting support which caused a lot of pain. Went in on Monday and a new cast was made that went about an inch higher.  I still had the same problem. Then one more time, two days later, the wrapping and cast were made a little tighter and it is about three inches above my elbow. I thought it was two weeks from the first cast, but it was only one!  This is going to be a long period!  I'm trying to keep my mind off of it. Kind of hard to do because I can feel it and it is uncomfortable.

My daughter Ronda helped me take a shower while she was here. I learned from that and set myself up like she had.  It worked. I used the IV pole with an exercise rubber band to hold up my cast in a plastic bag. I have a shower chair and made sure everything was within hands reach. It worked!  What a relief!  So cleanliness is not going to be a problem.

My daughter Ronda was set to leave Monday night at seven pm. That morning I get an email that the flight was completely changed to Tuesday morning at 5:50  a.m.. I was feeling overwhelmed with this hour and discussed her taking a taxi. She called one that agreed to pick her up at 4:00 am.  Ronda called later in the day after leaving and said there was something wrong with the plane in Denver and they had everyone get off while they found another plane. She didn't get home until 7:00 pm, but I was relieved it did work out.

In the mean time I set up my schedule and bought my tickets to see my brother Ben and my friend Lynn Repasky.  If my trip has any of the problems my daughter had, I will never use United Airlines again.  I am doing it from Bakersfield because I'm not sure I can handle a complicated trip.

Art class was good as usual. I did not work on my barn at all. Perhaps later. Now we are working on a waterfall.

I ended up getting a sore throat and fever which went on from a head cold to a chest cold. I'm usually not around so many people, especially children that I had forgotten all the bugs going around.  I seem to usually miss this, but close contact breeds the bugs. 

My family and friends have helped a lot.  They have taken me to appointments, straightening things, cut veggies, etc.  it makes a big difference.

I have a little less pain. It's difficult  to focus on much else when I'm in pain. It needs to come down more, then I'll be able to focus on other stuff.  I'm hopeful that this is happening.

So it was a slow week which was appreciated. I didn't feel well enough to have much excitement.  But yesterday my front door refused to lock and I called a locksmith to fix it. When he came, I asked if he would rekeyi the lock into the garage which he did. Today I walked into the garage to get the bleach and found myself locked out if the house. I told my brother about this last time and he sent me something to hide my key.  I looked for an hour without luck and walked to my neighbors homes in my pajamas to see if someone would take me to Barbara's home since I didn't have her phone number. It was the fifth house that answered my knock. This is the first time I met Diane who said "how can I help you"?  She was very willing to drive me to Barbara's home. Unfortunately she wasn't home. Diane said I could use her computer. So I was able to get to Yahoo mail and my contacts were there. I called Sherry who luckily was in town. She was laughing over what happened, but came 15 minutes later to let me in and she found the key in its hiding place.  Diane and I agreed that we would exchange keys to have someone close by to help.

So that's it for the week. I'll see you next Sunday.      Rachel.

Sore Arm and a Wedding

Meaghan and Billy had to change plans for their wedding. They brought it back to Bakersfield since Conner had been ill.  It was held in the yard of a lovely home using the maids quarters to get the food set up and for Meaghan, our bride to get ready. The weather was very cooperative. Meagan's grandmother Sherran Toy was the minister and did a fabulous job. The grounds were gorgeous. I kept feeling I had been here before, but that there were more trees when I'd been there before.  Yep, this was where Karen and Tom Peltier used to live. My husband and I along with four other couples used to get together monthly at each other's homes for dinner and red wine. I have fond memories of that.  Meaghan was a beautiful bride, Billy so handsome!  The food was excellent. The decorations were very nice. It was just a lovely wedding and will now be wonderful memories.

Flower Girls Alyssa, MeLeigha and Constance (Coco) Meaghan, Sherran, Billy and Ian

Meaghan and Billy with Sherran

Meaghan and Billy

Conner and Meaghan's sister

Flower Girls, Bible Bearer and Minister/Grandmother

Ian (Meaghan's Brother) and Meaghan

Ronda and Billy

Rachel and Billy

Rachel and Billy

Billy and Gavin Payne

Beautiful Table

They each poured sand in here showing how they will work together

Last weekend my phone kept ringing with the same number.  I finally answered and this man was saying they were picking up malware on my computer stopping all my Windows programs. They said I had to take care of it immediately and that there were 12 computers using my internet. I couldn't understand how this could be but finally got frightened enough to agree to fix it. Yes I fell for all this and can't believe I could be sooooo naive.  I am on pain pills. Maybe that was part of it.  So I stupidly agreed to pay $600 for a lifetime of caring for my computer and gave them remote access. This was for all my items with computer access. First computer supposedly done. Go to second computer and the monitor goes black. I can't figure what is going on and I said I needed to get my son-in-law over here because I really was not understanding and he could talk to them. Then I started feeling pushed when I couldn't reach Michael and told them I'd call them the next day and I hung up. My cousin Steve calls and I tell him I'm too upset to talk because of what I think is computer fraud and I fell for it. Now I'm crying. He said call credit card company and call him back. My crying got worse with all this. I felt vulnerable and really stupid. The bank lady said take a deep breath, then we'll talk. She transferred me to the fraud dept.  I said I disputed the charges and told them what I did. They reversed this bill, canceled my credit card and told me what to expect. This was all a relief but not the end of the problem.  I took the computer to The Geek Squad (as my cousin Steve recommended) and they found several viruses on both computers and cleaned it all up. Then I changed my passwords. My daughter threatened this internet place when they called today. Hopefully they won't call back.  Ronda hooked my computers back up. It did turn out that one of my monitors did go out which I'll deal with next.

My friend Valerie came to take me to my art class this and then to The Geek Squad.  I had not worked on any art, though, one day I attempted to start. We worked on doing a fence.  I really can't do much work because my cast is in the way. I did get my friend Barbara Long to come over and glue non-skid rubber to the back of one mat and on the back of a 12 inch ruler.  I got my pine cone back framed.  It is amazing how much better everything looks framed.  While there Toni Lott framed two other pictures. What a great job and reasonably priced!  Val and I went across the street to Mama Roomba for lunch (I just love this place!).

My friend Janet took me for a follow-up visit with the surgeon Dr. Wong. My appointment was at 4 pm. Got there about 3:45. We did't get called back until after 6 pm.  Questions I asked were can I go visit my brother in Connecticut in September (yes). When can I drive (when I'm not on narcotics).  Can I get physical therapy to work on balance (sounds like a good Idea).  Found out a fellow doctor friend of theirs lost his wife to breast cancer and they took a day off for the funeral and a child set off the fire alarm that day forcing everyone out of the building for about a half hour. I missed my Red Hat ice cream social at Dewars.

I got a cast above the elbow. Though Janet and I thought it looked horrible (there was a green drainage),  Dr. Wong assured us it was okay. No smell. It was very sore and I was glad to get back into a cast to support it. We went to Mexicali's by 7:30 for dinner and a weak margarita.  I think we both felt our heads would fall in the food.  When Janet got me home, I crawled in bed and was out like a light. 

Independence Day celebration was at my home. I was expecting fireworks display at Bakersfield College, but one of my friends Evelyn Elliott told me it was canceled. They are doing construction, so that was the reason. Billy picked up a box of fireworks. Dainette (Meaghan's mom) Meaghan, Billy with five children (including Conner), 5 years and younger, Shelley with Kevin, Jennifer with Kayla and Devin, Ronda and me made up the group.  Shelley and Ronda took care of the food, Billy barbecued. There was a nice breeze which made the heat more tolerable.  It all turned out very well and when everyone left, I fell asleep instantly.  I just seem to max out, and that's it.

Jennifer, Shelley and Coco

Alyssa, Meleigha and Gavin

Meaghan

Billy

Cousins Devin and Kevin

Shelley, Jennifer with Coco and Kayla

Conner at 12 weeks

Dainette

Ronda and Conner

Rachel, Coco, Meaghan with Conner

So I was watching this wonderful documentary that I recorded on PBS.  This young man had this job as a documentarian. He traveled over the world. He one day couldn't get up from sitting on the sand and others had to help him get up. So this is his documentary about finding out he has MS and how he takes as much control of his life despite the continued decline from the disease.  Very touching. It is universal.  It was shown on POV (stands for point of view on June 24, 2014. The title is "When I Walk".  Look for it.

Here is a wonderful article about why you should ask a physicist to speak at you funeral. I spoke with my physicist friend Michael Feit. He has agreed to do this.  I think I have brought this up earlier, but if you haven't seen it, check it out.




Ask a Physicist to Speak at Your Funeral


I have really had an achy week. Last night was particularly rough and I'm not doing the work!  Ronda has helped me a lot while she has been here. I've been very short and snippy with her and I apologize for this. She says "Oh, mom, don't worry about it. I'm not taking it personally. I know you don't feel good". I'm appreciative she understands. I am so appreciative of family and friends who have tolerated me and been so helpful.  I really think this would be a "no go" without the support I have gotten. What's difference it makes.

I have a friend who made an interesting comment saying she liked her boring life and would find this overwhelming.  Actually I agree with her. It might make it an interesting story, but the stress of it is really too much. I would have scheduled the wedding for a much later date and I think I would have rescheduled Independence Day to October first. I was glad that the wedding was not at my home and I was glad I was not the photographer.  Billy said they realized right away that they had to change plans. I'm so appreciative I didn't have to bring it up though I understand that I also have to get much better at saying "no".

Tomorrow, Monday,  Ronda returns home (Illinois). Billy, Meaghan and Conner will join us for breakfast at Cindy's.  This was a good visit despite the pain and I was glad it all happened. Now is time to put the emphasis on healing as my teacher Carol Bradshaw states. 

The Bakersfield Art Association is offering a variety of one day classes for $35 each in a variety of media. Check out what they are offering below and if you live in Kern County in California consider. This includes the supplies. You need to pre-register because they need to make sure they have enough supplies. Having taken classes since September and meeting many of these very talented artists, I believe you would enjoy this. It is a way to try your hand in a particular art medium without committing a lot of resources to find out if it is for you. Then, if it is, you'll have an idea of what it involves. I will be signing up for as many I can. Perhaps I'll see you there!


ART SAMPLER SERIES at the BAA Art Center
With Bates, Bradshaw,  Lott, Mathie, Neil, and Oliver

Many people who think about taking art classes aren’t sure what they want to take.  This is your chance to find out with this special series of classes….take one or all of them!  Do you want to draw/paint/ watercolor/oil/acrylic/oil pastel or something completely different like mosaics?

Come and play around and just have fun with the possibilities!

All classes are held at the BAA Art Center, at 1817 Eye Street. Cost of the classes is: $35.00 each, and include all materials needed for the class.  Pre-registration is required because of the materials.  Please contact the class instructor.

Pen and Ink: “Playing with Pen and Ink” with Jim Bates, This class  will explore different methods of using permanent ink pens in drawing and inking in your art work.  Examples will be cross hatching, stippling, scribbling, small/large lines etc.  We will ink the same subject using only one of the methods per drawing.  Class is Thursday, July 31st from 1-4 pm. For additional information or to register contact:  Jim Bates at 6612-871-7640 or jab888’s@gmail.com

Drawing: “What You Can Do with a Pencil!!”  with Carol Bradshaw  Experiment with all of the different marks you can make with a pencil and find out what the different kinds of drawings you can do!  Drawing can be done with pencil, colored pencil, pen and ink, charcoal, crayon, pastel , etc. Class is Thursday, July 24th from 1-4 pm.  For additional information or to register contact:    Carol Bradshaw at 760-376-6604 or bradshawartist@earthlink.net

Watercolor: “Splash and Play”  with Norma Neil In this class students will learn basic wash techniques and play with techniques that add sparkle, texture, mood and personality to the painting. Students will end with an 11x14 watercolor suitable for framing.
Class is Thursday, August 7th from 1-4 pm, For additional information or to register contact:    Norma Neil at 661-283-1376 or nneil2@att.net

Oil Pastel: “Drawing and Painting with Oil Pastel”  This inexpensive and versatile medium can be used for drawing or painting. It works like soft pastel, without the dust, but can be blended with other mediums such as oil, acrylic and watercolor paints Oil pastel is a fun medium that can be used for expressively for drawing or for completing rich finished paintings.  Class is Thursday, August 14th from 1-4 pm. For additional information or to register contact:  Phyllis Oliver at: Phone 661-348-4717 or pegoliver@ix.netcom.com

Acrylic: “ Acrylics are Easy!: with Toni Lott, This class is just pure fun playing around with acrylics.  It is a very forgiving medium- you can paint over your mistakes! You will be surprised at what you can do! Class is Thursday, August 21st, from 1-4 pm.  For additional information or to register contact:  Toni Lott at 661-205-3488 or tlframer@gmail.com

Mosaics: “Mosaic Brief”  with Leslie Mathie,  Come and try out mosaics and all of the fun that can be achieved with them.  This is a chance to do a” hands on” project.  Class is Saturday, August 9th from 9-12 pm. For additional information or to register contact:  Leslie Mathie at 510-914-6897 or leslie@mathiemosaic.net




Thank you for reading and I'll see you next week.        Rachel